to ask how long after a break up would you consider your exs next relationship to be a rebound one?

(13 Posts)
BurningWingsOfFlame Thu 24-Jan-13 02:05:13

A couple of weeks?

Months?

I think a year might be too long to consider it a rebound.

Bogeyface Thu 24-Jan-13 02:09:03

Not necessarily. It can be 5 years if the person never really got over the break up. I know someone who was still "rebounding" 20+ years later (I was one of the many rebound GF's). He never got over her, could never move on or commit to anyone else and is still unhappy now as he never learnt how to get over a failed relationship (that he fucked up btw).

But some people dont need them at all, some people can healthily deal with a break up and move on.

Why do you ask?

Bogeyface Thu 24-Jan-13 02:11:36

Another point is that it may not be rebound but it may be the transition relationship, the one that is a kick back against the dumping, the proof that they can still find someone that wants them. The transition is often a really bad and unhealthy relationship in itself but can be good for the person in transition as it helps them to move on and to learn what they should and shouldnt be looking for in their next partner.

My relationship ended 3 months ago.

He did me a favour by already having had 2 other women, that i know about.

I am ready to move on.

I know other people who never really move on, even after a few years.

BurningWingsOfFlame Thu 24-Jan-13 02:33:03

Me and my partner have separated, and now 6 months later he is with someone else.

He was the one who broke up with me. I never really got a reason why. A friend told him that he had thrown our relationship away and he answered saying that she had no idea what she was talking about.

(I know he wasn't cheating behind my back btw)

He described his new relationship as - fresh, new and awesome..

Bogeyface Thu 24-Jan-13 02:56:27

Generally the rebounder is the dumpee rather than the dumper. He will have checked out of the relationship for a while before he left you. It isnt a rebound relationship, sorry. But I would be very suspicious of "new fresh awesome" because new and fresh doesnt last long.

How long were you with him?

Bogeyface Thu 24-Jan-13 02:57:31

And I hate to say this but he isnt your partner anymore. He is her partner and your ex.

LesBOFerables Thu 24-Jan-13 02:58:44

It's really not for you to say whether it's a rebound relationship. You don't know now what his state of mind is, and nor should you. All you can usefully focus on is what you are doing, and how you are moving on.

YorkshireDeb Thu 24-Jan-13 03:53:33

Interesting that you describe yourselves as separated. Did you think there was a chance you'd get back together? How did you find out what he thinks of this new relationship? X

deleted203 Thu 24-Jan-13 03:57:55

I think if 6 months down the line he has met someone else then it isn't really a rebound relationship. He's moved on and is with someone else.

The first relationship is always suspect, one within half the time of the relationship can be (so six months after a year long relationship). However, when I got rid of my ex-H I had been mentally gone for about a year previously. I was in a new relationship within 4 months and it wasn't a rebound.

I think this ship has sailed in your case. Sorry.

MeinHerzBrennt Thu 24-Jan-13 10:43:45

When I met my oh it was a few months after he'd split with his ex. I wasn't sure if he was over her and I was worried I'd just be a rebound. We've now been together 6 years and are coming up to our first wedding anniversary. I think the time it takes to get over someone depends on the individual and the circumstances.

nefertarii Thu 24-Jan-13 10:51:18

Its not a rebound. Also why are you spending time pondering his relationship? Are you hoping to get back together?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now