To get annoyed with how FIL picks up my 2 and 4 yo's

(39 Posts)
blueberry1972 Wed 23-Jan-13 19:17:21

By just the hands, throws them in the air then catches them. They don't seem to mind but I worry about their arm sockets. I have hinted with wincing and saying "ow" but its just ignored. We're going away with my in laws in a few weeks time and I need to know if I'm being OTT and should just ignore it.

chewingguminmyhair Wed 23-Jan-13 19:25:37

I don't know if you are BU but try telling him rather than giving a gentle hint that he probably isn't noticing. "I don't mind you throwing the kid around but at least pls pick them up by their armpits."

chewingguminmyhair Wed 23-Jan-13 19:26:00

*kids

Crazyx4 Wed 23-Jan-13 19:27:10

Please tell him not to. When my daughter was 3 she was dancing with dh and he sort of flung her around the kitchen, not even lifting her really, but we ended up in a&e. their bones have to grow into their tendons so it is really easy to pull the bones out, which is apparently really common. The doctor had to twist her arm to get it back in place. Not nice to watch. Apparently it is is fine when they are about 5.

NotInMyDay Wed 23-Jan-13 19:29:09

It is really bad for their arm sockets til they are 5+ I believe. I don't let anyone do this to my children. I'm not overly precious about much though.

chartreuse Wed 23-Jan-13 19:30:19

Ouch, dh dislocated dd's elbow by doing that. She was screaming with pain and he was consumed with guilt.

blueberry1972 Wed 23-Jan-13 19:30:32

Thank you both. I hope your daughter hasn't any lasting damage. That must have been hideous for you to watch in a&e and excrutiating for her.

Nishky Wed 23-Jan-13 19:30:48

Not unreasonable- my dad got a real ticking off from an a and e doctor when he did similar to my brother.

NotInMyDay Wed 23-Jan-13 19:31:34

Not vey well worded. What I mean is I am not overly precious about lots of other things - I'm quite easy ozy so when I ask people not to swing them by the arms because it is ad for them they don't seem to pull this face [hmmm] and think I'm being all pfbish.

ThereGoesTheYear Wed 23-Jan-13 19:32:31

A child under 7 (iirc) should never be swung by the arms due to the risk of dislocation. It has to stop.

nefertarii Wed 23-Jan-13 19:34:03

Yanbu to not like it. Yabu to have not actually said so.

blueberry1972 Wed 23-Jan-13 19:34:50

Thank you. I'm not precious about much either but this just infuriates me. I'm so glad I asked! Dislocated elbow sounds horrendous!

Goldmandra Wed 23-Jan-13 19:38:01

It is very easy to give a child a pulled elbow by doing this. It is very painful and they scream a lot when it is being manipulated back into place.

Show him the link and ask him to stop.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Wed 23-Jan-13 19:38:45

I was also told that the 2 people swinging the child whilst walking along can dislocate their arm or elbow, not nice.

blueberry1972 Wed 23-Jan-13 19:45:05

Thanks for the link goldmandra I'm sitting here furious with myself that I've been letting this happen. No more. Can't stand FIL at the best of times and will have great pleasure is stuffing this in front of him.

madwomanintheattic Wed 23-Jan-13 19:47:26

Well as long as you're doing it for all the right reasons, eh?...

Bloody hell shock

I do this to my DD 3.11 ALL THE TIME and have done since before she was 2! She runs up to me and I grab her arms and just swing her round and round and up and down. She loves it blush

Will stop!

MrsMushroom Wed 23-Jan-13 19:56:08

YanBU it's a massive cause of dislocated arms apparently and my DH picked up DD once and swung her round...holding only her hands and she screamed...and her shoulder was hurt and it still "buzzes" sometimes. Tell him not to.

MissMarplesMaid Wed 23-Jan-13 19:58:02

DH also had his elbow dislocated by his dad lifting him out of the bath by his hands.

autumnmum Wed 23-Jan-13 20:29:04

My dad dislocated my elbow doing this when I was 4, it was very painful and required a trip to hospital to put right. I got to wear a sling and every time someone asked "oh dear, what have you done?", I said "my Daddy did it" blush

aimingtobeaperfectionist Wed 23-Jan-13 20:35:30

Oh my god I DID NOT KNOW THIS!!! How did I not know this?! I knew I was a crap mum, I swing dd by he arms all the time shockconfused

<<runs away in shame>>

apostropheuse Wed 23-Jan-13 20:42:53

Oh it's well known that doing that can cause dislocation of the elbow.

You will have to be very clear with him that he is not to do it - and tell him why.

YANBU!

JudgeJodie Wed 23-Jan-13 21:35:01

I too had to take my dd to a&e after playing "twizzers" when she was probably about 3 1/2 ish. She was not too upset as the doctor was so pretty like princess jasmine from Disney!
But the doctor told me how it had happened before I said anything. It is seemingly really common.
Haven't done it since blush

HollyBerryBush Wed 23-Jan-13 21:37:55

I did it to mine - none them are 'damaged'.

AgentZigzag Wed 23-Jan-13 21:43:43

My uncle picked me up by one arm when I was 5/6 and dislocated my elbow, didn't even spin me round or anything.

Which says it's easily done and people who've done it/do it without thinking, shouldn't feel too bad smile

Apart from the OPs FIL who obviously needs telling lol

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