To want dc2 to be summerborn for financial reasons?(106 Posts)
Obviously I know you can't plan these things too too much, but if our next baby is born in July or August 2014:
- my bonus will be included in my mat pay calcs
- dd will be almost 3 and will get funded childcare places so her nursery costs will be lower, minimizing the cost whilst I'm in mat pay.
- by the time dc2 goes to nursery dd will still have a years worth of funding
- dc2 will require a year less childcare due to being one of the youngest in the year
Am I being naive/foolish for crossing my fingers for this?? Obviously this is based on numerous assumptions but I just wondered if I'm the only one who tries to "engineer" their pregnancies to maximise their financial situation?!?!
i liked being preggo in the summer - we haven't had any really hot ones recently so that wasn't a problem. Also i spent very little on mat clothes, wearing cheap maxi's and size bigger sandals. If it had have been now i would have had to invest in a coat and boots and jumpers etc.
Also nice to have a distance from xmas. I am just after xmas and all your presents and celebrations are winter related then it's a long gap to xmas again.
I am relieved DS was late tho, he was due 29 Aug and came 12 sept. So he will be the oldest in the class.
Well I think September would be ok bonus-wise too just that dc2 would be at school a year 'later'. My cousins dd is a mid September baby and was far far too old for nursery by the time she left and could've done with going to school much earlier... Surely the staggered starts is the best way??
I am August birthday - it's a double edged sword. I had the joy of always being on holiday for my birthday but I hated being lumped in with the whole 'who has a birthday in the holidays' rather than the current week. Also hard to pick when to have a party - miles away from your actual birthday.
Academically it probably did me a favour because I strived to keep up with my peers but socially I was well behind and didn't really get true friends and understand social norms until I was well into my teens.
We had notions of when we wanted our baby but like some others on this thread, it took us a long time (2 years 8 months) to conceive and I am just delighted to be having a baby. It has actually worked out fairly well (April due date so I can take some leave from this year and some from next year!).
realistically I don't think many people will successfully be able to time conception within a couple of months - was it such with your DD? YANBU to think it would be ideal to have a baby around that time but I don't think you can bank on it!
Dd is a Xmas baby and you're right about the maternity clothes being a pain! Being due in dec I didn't want to fork out for maternity coats that I wouldn't be wearing all winter!
Dd was first time of trying.
Good luck to those of you long term ttc, knowing what a blessing a baby is I realise it's doesn't matter when dc2 arrives but I'm an idealist/planner so just mulling it over really. Plus regardless of the money side I think a 2.5ish year age gap between dc is quite nice!
I don't get how you can plan it to the exact month... even if you get pregnant quickly, surely not that many people get pregnant the first month of trying?
I tried for a few months both times and both times I've managed to conceive an August baby, maybe I'm only fertile in November! It scares me a bit hearing all the negatives for August children but I didn't choose it that way, it just happened.
Well your reasons are all based on money!! Money money money!!!
Rethink it from a completely different point of view. What is best for the child - to be older or very young in it's year?
I have two children who are both young in their year (took a long time to conceive) and they have found school exhausting physically/mentally. They are both bright (academic families) and are doing extremely well. However generally at out school most the top table children are the September to December born kids, while the bottom table kids are mostly June to Aug born. This is also reflected at university level with 20% less August babies attending uni.
I would have loved my children to be older in their academic year. It really is a huge advantage regardless of academic ability.
Oh, I once niavely thought you could "plan" when to concieve/give birth. In RL I don't know anyone that could predict when they would become pregnant though, so I just wouldn't sweat over it.
I've got 3dc, one June, one Sept and one Oct - if you really could "choose", I'd definitely choose the Sept / Oct birth months on balance, but, I can find reasons why the June birthday has been nice over the years too (not least the put on a big 'Prom' for him for his 16th Birthday last year )
I'm an August baby and I always felt behind others in the same class. I was dropped down a set for everything and I don't think I was particularly slow to learn, just that I was reading stuff that was slightly beyond my capabilities. This of course was detrimental to my exam results, as you were not able to get above a certain grade if you were in lower sets as the exam omitted the stuff you hadn't been taught, which of course was the harder stuff which got you higher grades.
Sorry, I would also say that it's worth considering what school life could be like for your child as well as your financial situation when the child is born.
Another teacher who planned a September baby and got one (super super lucky) because I wanted my child to be older and therefore have better chances at school. There is no doubt that the majority of summer borns are disadvantaged at school just because of their maturity (I teach year one where it is very clear who is autumn and who us summer born) I am July and did well, but I'd still want to give them the best chances in life that I possibly could.
However... I've just mc an august baby and am obviously devastated about it; a baby is a blessing whenever it's born.
I didn't plan things but in hindsight it was great. DC1 started school when I was 37 weeks pregnant and work let me finish at 2:30 so I could pick up from school. DC2 was born late Sept and I started maternity leave 2 days beforehand (elective c-s).
I preferred being pregnant in the summer (vests and maxi skirt) to being pregnant in the winter (chilly gap between my tops and trousers as my bump expanded).
But I don't think I would have wanted to be at home with a baby in January - low light levels, harder to get out of the house all day long to avoid depression etc... But that's just me..
No I'd never wish that. I'm currently due end if August and already really upset that they will be very youngest of their year. My dd has a June birthday, youngest in her class and although very confident and independent at just turned 4, she was miles behind her peers in terms of friendship groups and managing general school stuff (sitting still on carpet etc) Most of the top streamed kids are older, I think summer babies are really disadvantaged in this respect. Not worth it for a years saving of nursery fees imo but if it meant the choice between affording another wanted child or not I could see why you might aim for that.
I planned a may, June and April birth for my three and (almost) got them, ds2 was a week late so v early July. I planned as I don't like getting up to feed babies in winter months and I get very down in jan/feb.
I also didn't want them to have birthdays near Christmas or be the eldest in the year or be pregnant all over summer.
I still wouldn't plan for an August birthday, even ds2 seems very young for his year.
If I did go for number 4, I would probably go for a march or October birthday.
I got the bonus/maternity pay thing with my dd1....it was fab, bought a car! She was due in July, arrived in May, wasted lots of my maternity leave sitting in neo-natal......
Actually my August born baby, (due in Sept, born in August) is my brightest and doing best at school, but it was hot being pregnant.
I didn't think people actually tried to plan such things! I'd just be grateful if you can get pregnant without much heartache and worry if I were you! I think the only thing that would sway me if I had any control would be to try to avoid the dead of winter...we live well over an hour from nearest maternity unit and 40 mins from a and e. We are fairly rural and I would be worried about snow...several times over lay few years we have been snowed in and the village was inaccessible.
Oh great. Another thing to feel bad about.
My fertility situation is one of the most drastic as they come. My sister donated eggs to me. I am still delighted beyond belief that I have DD. She's a July baby and, frankly, I don't give a flying fuck that she's a summer born, not least because most of the pregnancy was touch and go. I feel for the plight of others on here who are TTC.
I don't mean to piss on others' parades (OP- I'm not referring to you here BTW as you sound nice) but I only hope that those who 'conceived first time trying' or 'planned pregnancies to the nearest month' never ever experience the bitter disappointment that some of us have experienced. Sorry, but I'm sensing a bit of smugness and boastfulness. I also hope that your careful planning in a financial sense isn't usurped by redundancy and subsequent long-term unployment as it did with DH.
What I'm trying to say, in ever such a grumpy and inarticulate manner, is that even the best laid plans can unravel in a heartbeat.
DH, DS1 and I are all young-for-the-year summer birthdays. We were all desperately ready for school at only just four.
By contrast, my brother is a September. He was ready for school at four but had to wait a whole year more (despite repeated applications to the LA) and was at a constant disadvantage in primary school, until my parents decided to opt out and go private - changing their own career plans to be able to do so.
With that anecdotal evidence, and two summer term DCs, I am anxious about conceiving a DC3 to be born too early in the school year. But I decided the age gap was more important than the birthday, so we are still trying. I don't want to miss the egg that will hatch, IYSWIM.
Of course those who suffer most are those with July/August birthdays who were actually due in October. Doubly/triply disadvantaged.
I planned a March baby and ended up with an April baby. It was lovely having nice weather with a newborn.
If you want to avoid postnatal depression then March is the best month to aim for.
We got married very young and so had lots of time to plan the "ideal". We decided on February for various reasons but then dh had a big project to complete in May 2009 so we couldn't go on our second honeymoon until June. Dd was technically born 2nd month of trying but I have very short cycles so there was less than 10 months from last pill to first gas & air.
I'm glad she was End March though as it means that we get nursery funding from 1 April.
With (future) ds we wanted another Feb / March baby but I was a bridesmaid in August and the dress was very very fitted. He will be born in May as we decided a 3 year gap with May was better than a 4 year gap with March.
There are pros and cons of being an August baby. Statistically they do do less well at school. But if I had been born 2 weeks later I would have had to pay university fees so I'm glad I am August.
On the downside I couldn't legally drink on my A-level results day (and despite my August-ness I got 4 As so I felt I had something to celebrate.)
So all in all it's worth thinking of these things as you (like me) seem to be blessed with high fertility. But the plan needs to be flexible. And personally I old never aim for n August birthday.
<round of applause for Sage>
sage- I don't sense smugness and boastfulness, just naivety actually. You just don't understand infertility or miscarriage until you've been through it yourself. Congratulations on your DD
I was praying that my DTs would come early and be August babies instead of mid-September! Those extra 2 weeks will cost us thousands of pounds for an extra year of nursery. Having already had 2 August babies, I knew all about the pros and cons (and in fact worried endlessly and needlessly about my Aug DCs being young for their year group).
YANBU at all. There's more to life than money but it certainly helps to make life more pleasant when you have enough of it.
Sage apologies if I appear smug. The fact is that both times with my pregnancies I did get pregnant very quickly. And I am an obsessive planner so these things were planned in great detail. But I am aware that I am very lucky it worked out so well and truthfully I never expected it to.
What I didn't mention in my original thread is that we went through a suspected miscarriage this time but miraculously the baby survived. The experience has convinced me that this baby (and all children) are just meant to be.
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