To ask if anyone has regretted their choice of bridesmaids?

(82 Posts)
AnnaLou82 Tue 22-Jan-13 12:43:25

Are you still close friends now?

emsyj Tue 22-Jan-13 12:46:24

I had my DSis and a friend - don't speak to the friend any more! grin

I don't regret it as such though - I had a lovely wedding day and have great memories, things just change. I can't think who else I would have asked really, other than a very close friend (who I was bridesmaid for a few months ago) who said, 'please don't ask me, I don't feel up to it' as she was recently bereaved. She was a witness instead.

Sparklingbrook Tue 22-Jan-13 12:47:16

I didn't have any. But the one I may have chosen I haven't seen for years now. sad

Have you got a dilemma?

Badvoc Tue 22-Jan-13 12:48:12

I had my sis and sil.
No regrets.

BlueberryHill Tue 22-Jan-13 12:48:55

I had one, I wish I hadn't, more because it was SIL to be, and she was such a bitch over the wedding.

Nope - had my sister and 3 nieces. Not so close to the neices anymore but at the time they were a big part of my life.

Life moves and changes all the time, not worth regretting the past smile

MrsBungleBear Tue 22-Jan-13 12:51:41

I've had 4 best friends from school. As we got older we seemed to move away naturally from one of them.

When it came to choosing bridesmaids I knew I wanted my oldest and best friends (plus DH's DSis) and I just couldn't bring myself not to ask the other friend too so I did.

She was my bridesmaid with the others but we rarely talk now. Makes no difference to me now really whether she was or not. Still best friends with the others and see them as much as possible even though we now live hundreds of miles from each other.

Sparklingbrook Tue 22-Jan-13 12:53:43

What do bridesmaids do exactly?

minicc Tue 22-Jan-13 12:53:56

Had none and I still stand by that decision. Had my very best friend as a witness and only parents/ siblings at the wedding. 2 other friends kicked off about not being involved which just proved my point about them being fair weather friends in the first place! My sisters weren't bothered and totally understood our decision- we were totally honest from the start which helped I think x

FreePeaceSweet Tue 22-Jan-13 12:54:06

I regret being a bridesmaid. The groom doesn't like me, it was in October, I haven't seen my friend since, I only did it to spend time alone with her as they are joined at the hip and it just felt like once the wedding was over I wouldn't see her or the kids (her eldest two are my niece and nephew). I was right. sad

Sparklingbrook Tue 22-Jan-13 12:54:25

I have never been a bridesmaid. sad

WhereMyMilk Tue 22-Jan-13 12:54:29

Had close friend at the time of asking-she got a new boyfriend who was v rich and turned her head a bit. Consequently not interested in me, hen do or wedding. Did everything myself. Should've told her to fuck off and not bother tbh, but we had a lot of history and I thought it would improve. It didn't sad

Don't regret my niece flower girls though smile

Badvoc Tue 22-Jan-13 12:58:27

My b maids helped me get ready, sorted dress and veil for photos (which they knew I found a chore) and held bouquet during service.
Sil helped me on loo visits (sorry if tmi it it was a big dress!) smile
I was a b maid for both of them some years later too smile

ShephardsDelight Tue 22-Jan-13 12:58:43

I am in this very situation , 5 bm's 1 has managed to piss off 2 of them for different reasons, and as a result they don't socialize with each other :/ I feel very depressed and down about what should be a happy day.

Pigsmummy Tue 22-Jan-13 12:59:11

Yes, I had my sister and her two daughters. Last week we had a falling out, she started quoting perceived slights from as far back as 1999, seemed to enjoy telling me how much her and her husband dislike me and I feel that she has only been nice to my face for the last few years as I was wedding planning (wedding june 2012) and if she had voiced this animosity I might have not let her be bridesmaid or her girls. She is my only sister, she has no close female friends so might have been her and my adorable nieces only chance to be bridesmaid.

I looked at the photos at the weekend and feel like a fool for believing that we were getting on better than we had for years, it all blew up as I am planning a Christening for my baby (apparently it's all my fault that she hasn't had her children christened yet, despite having 9 years to do so). She has demonstrated that she is incapable of having a relationship with me and for that I regret the bridesmaid choice.

Strangemagic Tue 22-Jan-13 12:59:54

I had my best friend and her daughter,we have no contact now apart from christmas cards sometimes.I should never have bothered with a bridesmaid she didn't even wear the dress I bought,she chose one she liked better in a completely different colour which was a bit of a shock at the registry office,Dusky pink does not go with an ivory and burgundy colour scheme......oh well you live and learn.

WilsonFrickett Tue 22-Jan-13 13:01:59

People probably regret having me for a bridesmaid. I do tend to get over-excited with the fizz. blush I'm very nice apart from that and do a great hen, but can get a bit 'over-lubricated' at the free booze emotion.

zukiecat Tue 22-Jan-13 13:03:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmelieRose Tue 22-Jan-13 13:04:14

I had my two closest friends (one of whom is also my SIL), but around two months before my wedding I had to tell another friend that I didn't want her to be part of my wedding any more.

It was a horrible experience, but it was absolutely the right decision. Our friendship had become very difficult and there was all kinds of stuff going on that should have made me do it sooner.

I couldn't have looked back at my wedding photos and saw her in them. My bridesmaids were absolutely wonderful on my wedding day and in the run up to it. It felt fantastic to have two of my favourite people stand up there with me when I married my DH. grin

Nux Tue 22-Jan-13 13:04:31

I had my SIL as only bridesmaid. She didn't do any of the normal bridesmaidy things like help organise a hen night etc. She barely helped at the wedding (I got ready on my own and actually felt really sad), she even made a fuss about getting her hair done because it took half an hour away from her baby. She just did a few photos, came down the aisle and then rushed off again to see her son. I understand she wanted to look after her child, however he was about 18 months and safely with his Dad, Granny and Grandpa but she refused to leave him alone except for the bare minimum of time to follow me down the aisle! She seemed like a nice person, I thought she wanted to do it and it would be a way for us to be closer friends - I genuinely thought she would have made more effort for me :-(

In retrospect I can see that what I wanted was a friendship that didn't exist and it was a shame that she was the only person I felt might be able to fulfil that 'best friend' role I hoped would be my bridesmaid.

She and my brother are now splitting up and she is being really really awful to both him and her son. So yes, I do regret it, a lot. TBH if I'd had any other female friends I wouldn't have asked her! I sometimes wish I could get married again just so I could ask all my lovely friends that I now have!

thenightsky Tue 22-Jan-13 13:05:49

I asked SIL just to please my new MIL. She was a stroppy teen who refused to get out of bed on the morning, laid in till the last minute. Then there was no time for her to shower, so she put her bridemaid dress on her mucky body. Oh, and she hadn't bothered to wash her hair for a week prior either hmm

jennybeadle Tue 22-Jan-13 13:06:34

I had my DSis. I was bullied in to it by my parents, and regret allowing it deeply. My best friend wasn't keen on wearing a dress, but I wish we'd worked on that now, rather than giving in to family pressure. sad

That said, we had a brilliant day. grin

brainonastick Tue 22-Jan-13 13:07:20

God yes.

My best friend at the time was my bridesmaid. A few months before the wedding she started cheating on her long term boyfriend, who was my DH's best friend (still is). She told me, swore me to secrecy, so I couldn't tell my DH. I think she'd finally split up with the boyfriend just before the wedding (although I'm not sure she told him about the cheating), so it was all very hostile.

Anyway, she moved a long way away, we maintained contact for a while. Then she went very wierd on me when I had children (which is the only bit I can understand, as I found out later she'd been having a horrible time TTC), and that was that really. All very sad.

Makes me sad when I look at the wedding pictures as well, so make sure you choose wisely!

I didn't have any.

DS stomped down the aisle in front of me chewing his sleeve (he was 5 by the way) My Dad walked me down and everyone looked at DS, My Dad with his proud happy face and ME ME ME in my pretty dress of loveliness and my huge smile of cheesy happiness not one of my gorgeous friends in a slinky dress following on....It was all about ME smile smile smile

I don't regret that one tiny bit. Lots of my friends helped out and did things and my Big sister signed the register we're all still friends smile

emsyj Tue 22-Jan-13 13:18:45

I answered this too quickly - I had a very close friend who was going through some serious shit when I got married, and was unable to be there or be a bridesmaid. I was hers some years before. If I had a free wish to change something about my wedding, I would have her there but it just couldn't happen. I am glad and grateful to have her back in my life now though, so I can't honestly call it a 'regret'.

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