AIBU To think that ALL women...

(99 Posts)
DizzyZebra Tue 22-Jan-13 01:02:27

Should be able to dress however the hell they like without being accused of having issues, having only gotten a job because of the way they look, being brainwashed, trying to please men, damaging young girls....

I thought the idea of women having rights meant that they could make decisions for themselves, But it seems that instead of men dictating to us, Other women have taken the mens place in laying down the law over what we should and shouldn't wear.

I wouldn't sit here and criticise a woman in a baggy jumper and sweats, I wouldn't tell her she isn't sexy enough, i wouldn't tell her anything. I'd just assume that today, she feels best in her baggy jumper and sweats.

So why, why why can a large portion of todays women not do the same in reverse? Why do you see a woman wearing a tight, low cut dress and think she's got issues? What is the difference between the woman in the 'sexy' dress and the woman in the sweats? They both got up this morning and wore what they felt best in.

Am i missing some unwritten law that says 'Women have rights and choices - Unless they make another woman feel uneasy somehow?'

DizzyZebra Tue 22-Jan-13 01:52:26

The woman off Countdown. It is pretty silly really.

the other thing that annoys me is people moaning about air brushing and photoshop on models in magazines - As though it's completely changed how they look! Do they not think that if the model needed photoshopping to the point she was unrecognisable... she wouldn't be employed in the first place and they would just get a model that actually looks how they want her to look to save the expense of the editing?

DizzyZebra Tue 22-Jan-13 01:53:50

Worra - No i see no problem thinking a pose is funny. It just made me laugh that everyone seemed to think it was something that no one ever does. Most of them do it - They just don't wear a dress like that at the same time. I don't think it was the best pose she could have done in that dress.

everlong Tue 22-Jan-13 01:54:49

Oh ok. I don't watch countdown so I'm still non the wiser!

I find the whole Angelina hate thing annoying and weird. As a woman myself I think she is beautiful and a bit intriguing. I like her.

Booyhoo Tue 22-Jan-13 01:55:52

" My daughter wears whatever colour she likes. Sometimes she is pink from head to toe. Sometimes she is blue. Sometimes purple. I have no idea why pink is any different to any other colour."

sinistersal this is exactly my point. how many times have you seen a little boy being criticised for wearing too much blue? or too much any colour for that matter?

i have two boys. i tell them to get dressed, they go and put clothes on. the only times i'll comment is if (as my 3 year old regularly does) they come down wearing shorts and a (my) bikini top in january. they have clothes of every colour, including pink and i have never ever thought "that's too much red/blue/green/purple". why should the parents of little girls have to think differently about what their DDs put on to what i think about my Dses. if they want to paint themselves a rainbow who cares? they are children. it doesn't matter if some random adult doesn't like it. it matters that the wearer is comfortable with what they are wearing.

EuroShopperEnergyDrink Tue 22-Jan-13 02:39:38

Who do you think runs the publishing houses which prints these magazines, tells them what to write and what to sell? It's not women.

Women can be the best sexists- but that's a secondary effect of living within a patriarchy. Women putting their own lipstick seal of approval on misogynistic attitudes.

If you think some of us not liking the fact that a woman has to be sexed up, not stylish or well groomed, but sexualised, and that intelligence is not enough on it's own- and we're all nasty sly bitches who don't want anyone to be prettier than us- rather than hating our culture, you're quite frankly stupid.

If I hear one more 'FEMINISM IS ABOUT CHOOSING TO WEAR WHAT YOU WANT YAY CHOICE' comment whilst you're at it, I'm going to slice my eyelids off with rusty razors

MakeItALarge Tue 22-Jan-13 03:00:39

Euroshopper - I do not agree with you that women have to be sexedup to have a good career. I also dont think wearing clothes that show off my figure, which I have worked damn hard to acheive, means I am sexed up.

However by your logic I am stupid for disagreeing and my opinion is therefore worthless.

I better go bin my diplomas and quit my job hadnt I. Sigh.

YANBU OP, and I agree with Worra's posts. The thread on Helen Flanaghan was so nasty.

The problem is that choices about dress are not made in isolation from the world we live in, so girls and women's choices are influenced by the messages they are given by people around them. Then the choices they make go on to effect the choices of others.

I don't necessarily think that the op is BU but I don't think it's quite that simple. If we don't try to challenge some of the messages accepted in society about women's worth being connected to their sexual attractiveness then nothing will ever change, and that's not the message I want my daughters to grow up with.

discorabbit Tue 22-Jan-13 07:49:31

a man round here wears stripey tights and a rah rah skirt, though to be honest i think he has a few issues

MrsBucketxx Tue 22-Jan-13 07:55:34

YABU op,

Some on here can be really bitchy. Just shows themselves up really.

YANBU, but I give up, I'll carry on wearing what I want, if people want to call me a stripper because I wear something close fitting or a slob because I'm in sweats, that's up to them.

MrsBucketxx Tue 22-Jan-13 08:01:21

YANBU geeesh what wrong with my fat fingers today.

Hmmm. I'm not quite sure where I stand on this one.

On one hand, I agree that women should be able to wear whatever they feel comfortable wearing. On the other hand I think that a lot of our perceptions about what is attractive or looks good (exposed legs, cleavage etc) come from the masculine influence within our society.

MidnightMasquerader Tue 22-Jan-13 08:05:45

I really think a lot of people are missing the point of the other thread, which was maybe a bit badly worded and as a result, people have latched onto the wrong end of the stick...

I don't think the OP was saying the presenter is akin to a stripper due to her clothes choices, and judging her on this basis.

I think she lamenting the fact that women presenters, TV personalities, etc, are often channelled (thorough choice or conditioning, or more likely both) to dress in a way that their make counterparts do not. That women (generally speaking) are judged on their appearance and have to look, um, 'fuckable', in a way that men (generally speaking) do not.

And that this is the rather sad state of affairs. But happy to be corrected if this wasn't what the OP of the other thread meant.

MrsBucketxx Tue 22-Jan-13 08:07:51

Maybe its really from women, not men in the first place?

We have learned over centuries how to attract a man and use it to our advantage.

Do you always dress to attract a man though? Why should women have to dress a certain way in order to gain an advantage?

Don't get me wrong, I'm quite happy wearing tops that show off my cleavage but the fact is that we only think that is attractive because it is what appeals to men (generally speaking).

everlong for some reason, many women like Jennifer Aniston and seem to hate Angelina. Yes, there was the whole Brad thing, but if the other woman had looked like Jennifer, I don't think the vitriol would have been anywhere near the level Angelina receives. I personally think Angelina is beautiful and she puts her fame and wealth to good use. It is a good example for this thread of how some women treat other women though.

MrsBucketxx Tue 22-Jan-13 08:39:20

Not at all, I dress for me and other wonen mostly,

If it attracts dh then all the better

SigmundFraude Tue 22-Jan-13 08:42:37

'Who do you think runs the publishing houses which prints these magazines, tells them what to write and what to sell? It's not women.'

What? All of them?

'Women can be the best sexists- but that's a secondary effect of living within a patriarchy.'

Naturally. I'm feeling a little bad now for distancing myself from my hyper shallow ex friend. Instead of feeling affronted by her endless digs about my clothes, hair, lack of makeup etc, I should have found a way to let it go because, y'know, it wasn't really her fault.

I mean, she could have just not said those things and been a decent human being, but she had been socialised by the patriarchy to be unpleasant to me, and had absolutely no choice.

Or not.

drizzlecake Tue 22-Jan-13 08:51:53

But it's women who buy the magazines. So they are supporting the bitchfest encouraged by magazines and papers.

But women like to look at fashion and models/stars, to discuss, criticise, look for ideas before they shop for clothes.

Men don't, men want mags on fishing/ cars/ computers/ and any other hobby they have an interest in. Not many men want to look at men's fashion, though some younger ones prob do now, but not to the degree that women do.

So there will always be this problem with women criticising and men not caring.
I bet men ridicule stars who buy what they consider crap cars. It's just not as personal.

PessaryPam Tue 22-Jan-13 08:58:46

YANBU, it seems our sex is happiest putting others of our sex down. I expect it something to do with competing for the best males in evolutionary terms. Whatever, it's fucking tedious.

anewyear Tue 22-Jan-13 09:14:12

Intresting thread.
I wear what IM comfortable in full stop, and dont give a hoot what others think. Men or Women.

aderynlas Tue 22-Jan-13 09:50:23

I think my dd looks lovely whatever she wears, she was going to a party in a local hall last week, leaving just as her brother called in. Well, he was worse than my dad used to be. Do you think thats warm enough dsis, should you wear leggings as well, wont you fall in those heels. He was so funny, did tell her she looked gorgeous, then walked her to the dance, bless him. He came back home and said half way there he had to give her a piggyback because of the snow [big grin]

FreudiansSlipper Tue 22-Jan-13 10:15:56

you are missing the point of the other thread

and no one on here has ever dressed to attract attiontion of a potential mate? really??

the woman from countdown is very intelligent, she is presenting a day time tv programme yet she often looks like she about to go out for the evening why is there a need for women on tv to do this why do so many then go on to do photo shoots of them in skimpy outfits. this is what is often expected of them and they have to do what they can to keep their jobs this pressure is not put on men. this is the argument not about a young attractive women dressing in skimpy clothes

DizzyZebra You have made my day. YANBU, at all, in the slightest.

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