To think refusing to walk in the snow because you're pregnant is a little ridiculous?

(253 Posts)
Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 16:36:12

OK you can all slate me if you want as I haven't been pregnant myself and am only basing this on instinct rather than any fact.

However a friend and colleague of mine is 13 weeks pregnant and has been 'banned' by her dh from walking anywhere while it is snowy, including to work which is a 15 min walk for her. They don't drive so she has been housebound all weekend. We live in london so it's not a case of 10 feet drifts. She is quite happy to go along with this, and is planning on getting a taxi tomorrow instead. I'd have personally thought that driving in the snow with an unknown driver is more dangerous than walking.

I know this is non of my business really, it's just that I'm getting a but fed up with her extreme preciousness since she's been pregnant (she was generally sane before!). I've had a number of friends and colleagues who have been pregnant and I've never been irritated by them being cautious about various things before. It's just her and her constant pfb behaviour before they are even here that is driving me mad!

Ok rant over, and as I said you can all give me a virtual slap if you like.

bedmonster Sun 20-Jan-13 17:12:04

OP, I think you know YABU, it's slippy and she doesn't want to fall. Fair enough.
Though a friend of mine is 30 weeks pg and her DP has banned her from going out in it unnecessarily and I think it's pretty sweet that he's being so protective of her and his tiny baby.
However, some people do tend to use pregnancy as an excuse to do fuck all for 9 months (yes SIL, i'm looking at you!), though it doesn't seem like this is the case with your friend.
Just leave her be, you're probably a bit jealous that someones making a bit of a fuss over her - if you're ever pg, you'll very possibly feel slightly miffed if no one makes any special concessions towards you wink

Abra1d Sun 20-Jan-13 17:13:08

Is it outrageous to suggest people use alpine poles, staves or walking sticks on ice? And wear those detachable snow stud things on their boots? They make a huge difference to stability and grip. My husband bought me a pair and they are great.

MooseBeTimeForCoffee Sun 20-Jan-13 17:13:56

I'm almost a "North Pole trekker". If you didn't want to go out in the snow here, you'd be housebound from October to April. It's -30 here today. -40 with the wind chill!

LadyMargolotta Sun 20-Jan-13 17:17:13

It's possible that she is having some problems with the pregnancy, which they are keeping private, but is making them extra nervous.

Fakebook Sun 20-Jan-13 17:17:35

However, some people do tend to use pregnancy as an excuse to do fuck all for 9 months (yes SIL, i'm looking at you!)

Can you make a quick glance at my SIL too while you're at it. wink.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 20-Jan-13 17:17:37

You're not being unreasonable to think it's ridiculous; you're entitled to think what you want.

I think it's the 'precious snowflake' routine that irks people more than anything else. Get a taxi, don't get a taxi... who cares really, but if you say 'oh my DH (or worse 'lovely husband') has banned me, you'll attract snorts of derision.

Many people do make a meal of pregnancy - and some might have reason to. It can be a very boring topic of conversation if that's all there is and is wrapped in 'drama' all the time.

Chottie Sun 20-Jan-13 17:17:51

Have you ever fallen over in the snow? It's cold, very wet and pavements are solid and unforgiving. I would cut her some slack, she is still coming into work, so really it is none of your business how she gets there (sorry!)

If I was pg I would be extra careful too.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 20-Jan-13 17:17:57

'I expect you will get loads of replies from posters who trekked across the North Pole while pregnant though.'

grin That would be me usual, pregnant non-driver.
Slithering my way to work with a backpack in a city renown for the steepness of its hills and the foulness of its weather. Snow and ice and howling winds 400 miles north of London Four mile round trip every day, right up to 8 months gone.
Still think the OP is BU.

<Nebulous Amundsen Boojum>

SanityClause Sun 20-Jan-13 17:18:59

Oh FFS, she's pregnant, she's not ill!

I used to go out walking when heavily pregnant. I fell over on my fat arse a couple of times. I was fine, and so are my DC!

YANBU!

higgle Sun 20-Jan-13 17:19:36

I went on a ranching holiday ( riding in Wyoming) when I was pregnant with DS1 and rode my own horse until I couldn't get on. It would not have occurred to me not to WALK!

Catchingmockingbirds Sun 20-Jan-13 17:21:10

Yabu. I'm pregnant just now but before falling pregnant I suffered 2 miscarriages. We also have 2 dc with disabilities, one caused by complications during pregnancy. This pregnancy I've also got SPD, so DP banned me from walking when it was icy outside as we're both very concerned about me falling and hurting either myself or our baby.

Not all our friends (or even some family) know about all of this so we might come across as precious, but tbh I don't care how we come across, I just care that my baby is safe.

oldebaglady Sun 20-Jan-13 17:21:21

I feel badly in snow when pregnant with DC1 - It caused bleeding and hours of thinking we'd lost him.

YABU to compaire her to other pregnant women, every pregnancy is different, I could take on the world with preg no 2 and was super active, with preg no 1 everything wiped me out and I hurt all over/felt sick all the time! I wasn't more prescious, it was a totally different pregnancy.

StuntGirl Sun 20-Jan-13 17:21:25

YABU, why do you care? It isn't affecting you.

My sister fell in the snow and ice while heavily pregnant. She was walking alone and couldn't get back up due to the huge bump and not being able to get a good grip in the ice (she described herself as a tortoise rolling around on its shell!) Luckily about 20 minutes later someone walked past and helped her get up and back home. If she chose to be more cautious in future that's her own business and no one else's.

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 17:21:35

lying you've just summed up my actual problem in one, thank you!

Bue Sun 20-Jan-13 17:22:29

I am probably being harsh but your friend is a prize idiot. I'm from Canada - the really, really snowy part. Incredibly, pregnant women do not stay indoors all winter. They walk. In sensible footwear, mind. All you need is a good pair of boots and a careful step.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 20-Jan-13 17:22:44

Earplugs.

StuntGirl Sun 20-Jan-13 17:24:03

So what is the underlying reason cats?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 20-Jan-13 17:24:50

You're welcome, Catsnotrats... and TheNebulousBoojum has summed up your solution in one - earplugs! grin

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 17:25:52

It's taken her a while to conceive, but her pregnancy has been straightforward and normal so far.

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 17:27:06

On the shopping list grin

cheesesarnie Sun 20-Jan-13 17:27:39

i slipped in the snow twice whilst pregnant!
i thought the first time was bad luck and didnt want to fuss- i was just pregnant after all. then i did it again! LUCKILY DS WAS FINE BUT I HURT MY BACK QUITE BADLY.

cheesesarnie Sun 20-Jan-13 17:27:47

whoops sorry.

bigkidsdidit Sun 20-Jan-13 17:28:47

I walk 2.5 miles each way to work, in snow all last week, and I'm 20 weeks

But I think YABU - she might have poor balance generally, have had a couple of miscarriages, you never know

My boss never walks in snow as she has MS and falls over easily - two years ago she fractured her collarbone

StickEmUp Sun 20-Jan-13 17:30:08

YABU. I had trouble crosing roads in normal weather while pregnant grin.

Something weird happens to yuo, you are second best, but feel you must be extra careful with bot of you.

I miscarried though, so being precious didnt do me any good.

I will say lol, i did cross roads i jus had to stop and have a REAL good look.

3littlefrogs Sun 20-Jan-13 17:30:41

I lost my first pregnancy at 13 weeks. I was anxious about things going wrong with my second pregnancy. I also had HG and felt absolutely rotten all the time. I probably would have found walking to work in snow and ice quite misery inducing.

No doubt some of my colleagues thought I was being a bit precious too.

My manager lost no time in telling me that I had let everybody down by being off sick when I had the miscarriage. Some people are naturally unsympathetic and unkind.

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