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AIBU?

To think refusing to walk in the snow because you're pregnant is a little ridiculous?

252 replies

Catsnotrats · 20/01/2013 16:36

OK you can all slate me if you want as I haven't been pregnant myself and am only basing this on instinct rather than any fact.

However a friend and colleague of mine is 13 weeks pregnant and has been 'banned' by her dh from walking anywhere while it is snowy, including to work which is a 15 min walk for her. They don't drive so she has been housebound all weekend. We live in london so it's not a case of 10 feet drifts. She is quite happy to go along with this, and is planning on getting a taxi tomorrow instead. I'd have personally thought that driving in the snow with an unknown driver is more dangerous than walking.

I know this is non of my business really, it's just that I'm getting a but fed up with her extreme preciousness since she's been pregnant (she was generally sane before!). I've had a number of friends and colleagues who have been pregnant and I've never been irritated by them being cautious about various things before. It's just her and her constant pfb behaviour before they are even here that is driving me mad!

Ok rant over, and as I said you can all give me a virtual slap if you like.

OP posts:
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rubyslippers · 20/01/2013 16:37

i am cautious walking in the snow and ice and im not pregnant

falling when pregnant can be a worry and who wants that?

don't be so mean

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sei · 20/01/2013 16:38

YANBU. My sister is doing exactly the same just now, only she is 30 weeks.

Of course, once you get nearer the end it is harder. And if you have any health problems. But generally I think it's ridiculous.

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usualsuspect · 20/01/2013 16:39

It's not hurting you is it? I don't blame her if I could afford a taxi to work everyday instead of sliding about on foot,I would and I'm not even pregnant.

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newNN · 20/01/2013 16:40

When you are pg, it is normal to feel very protective of the baby inside you - it relies on you utterly to keep it safe. I think it is sensible to be cautious about walking on ice when you are pg. It is very easy to fall over and a bad fall could result in her losing that baby.

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AuntieStella · 20/01/2013 16:40

It depends how pregnant you are.

Falls don't cause mc in the first trimester, the pg is still encased in the pelvis and that lovely complication of SPD won't have kicked in. So no reason really to alter what you do.

But after that, when PG has grown beyond pelvis, your centre of gravity is beginning to change and your ligaments may be beginning to soften, then it's rather different.

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LittleBearPad · 20/01/2013 16:40

It really depends how she feels (I was knackered for the first four months and pretty sick so dealing with snow and the inevitable transport delays would have been a PITA). Also what footwear she has to hand. Equally though she possibly is being a little conservative. Plus I wouldn't react well to being told what to do by DH (can be fairly bloody minded)

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AKissIsNotAContract · 20/01/2013 16:40

YABU. I refuse to walk in the snow as I've broken my leg twice in the past. If I were pregnant I'd be even more worried.

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Alisvolatpropiis · 20/01/2013 16:41

If they can afford to pay for a taxi and it makes her feel safer,what exactly is your problem? She's not saying she can't come to work is she?

I've been in the house most the weekend because I hate snow and had no particular reason to go out. My rather more intrepid DP has walked the dog.

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babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 20/01/2013 16:41

Has she ever miscarried? You may not know even if she had. I had one, then panicked madly during my first pregnancy. This does seem a little extreme, but perhaps they're worried about a fall.

He may not have actually banned her. Perhaps she doesn't want to admit she's scared or why.

YABU as its none of your business. With seemingly first pregnancies, all may not be as it seems.

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usualsuspect · 20/01/2013 16:41

I expect you will get loads of replies from posters who trekked across the North Pole while pregnant though.

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whatyoulookinat · 20/01/2013 16:41

yanbu falling over is very unlikely to cause any harm.

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Iamsparklyknickers · 20/01/2013 16:41

Depends what the pavements are like, even the tiniest bit of snow gets compacted and turns to sheer ice pretty quickly in most high traffic areas. I'm not happy about walking on it and there's nothing wrong with me!

Takes bloody ages after the snow has gone for that compacted stuff to shift as well

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PrincessOfChina · 20/01/2013 16:42

I think at 13 weeks just taking extra care would be sensible.

At 30 weeks your centre of balance is all over the place and it would be awful to fall over. I was pretty much barred from going out alone 2 years ago when I was 8 months pregnant in ice and snow - my DP, (female) boss, friends and family were all keen for me to stay put unless absolutely necessary.

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CheerMum · 20/01/2013 16:42

You don't sound like much of a friend to be honest. I don't like to walk in the snow as I am scared of falling over. Imagine having a tiny baby growing inside you and then think about whether you would risk falling over by walking in this weather.

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baremadness · 20/01/2013 16:42

yabu. She is still going to work so not your problem. A friend thought i was being silly not wanting to catch 2 busses and a train to take me 2 hours away from home at 39 weeks. Different people have different attitudes to risk.

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Punkatheart · 20/01/2013 16:43

I think she is so very lucky that she has a DH who cares so much.

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Catsnotrats · 20/01/2013 16:44

As I said I think it's because of the constant talk to everybody all the time about her being pregnant and how she can't do lots of different things all the time that is making me be mean.

I'm the opposite with the not walking in the snow thing. Tomorrow I'll be getting the tube and walking (along the same route as her) rather than drive as I think it is far safer.

OP posts:
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StillSmilingAfterAllTheseYears · 20/01/2013 16:44

Oh leave her be. Maybe they've had loads of mc in the past or maybe they're just very nervous. Maybe it is a bit excessive but live and let live.

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LoopsInHoops · 20/01/2013 16:44

OP, if you had suffered a stillbirth, a miscarriage or a near miss, you wouldn't be so hard on your 'friend'.

She is right, IMO.

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Bananapickle · 20/01/2013 16:45

It is a tricky one but I walked to work (20 minute walks over fields) when I was about 34 weeks pregnant but I made sure I had someone with me, fortunately I had a colleague who lives on the same estate as me. Wouldn't have done it on my own though.
YABU to let it annoy you so much, I'd let it go of I were you.

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StillSmilingAfterAllTheseYears · 20/01/2013 16:45

Now I just think YABU and you are a massive hypocrite - you're allowed to choose how you travel based on your safety appraisal but she's not??

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maddening · 20/01/2013 16:45

My sis was out walking in the snow and slipped and broke her leg when out with her 4 mth old and luckily her dh. She is cautious now.

My df would worry about me walking in snow but I still did as was 36 weeks pg when it was snowy xmas 2010. Limited it where I could as I did feel unsteady.

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LoopsInHoops · 20/01/2013 16:46

OP, you might well want to walk. Hmm But then, if you fall over, no-one going to die, are they?

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PeachActiviaMinge · 20/01/2013 16:46

27 weeks here DH doesn't want me doing anything. I agree with him about the snow though 2 years ago I fractured my tailbone slipping on ice and I manage to otherwise slip over everytime there is ice. I'm huge and suffering quite bad hip pain now I'm happy to follow this demand through Grin

I am terrified of anything going wrong all through this pregnancy and wouldn't take the extra risk if shes happy to not leave the house and catch taxi's then so be it, shes the one who is pregnant not you. Saves the what if's too incase anything did happen

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TheSkiingGardener · 20/01/2013 16:46

I'm 36 weeks pregnant, cleared the drive and the steps on Friday and have been out playing in the snow, building snowmen and pulling DS along on a sled for the last 2 days.

However, that's my choice. She may be terrified for any number of reasons.

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