Mumsnet Talk

Have I missed something?

I married a man 18 years younger than me when I was 12. It was doomed I suppose, but I wouldn't listen to my borstal cell mate
My 19th baby was born with only one eye. His dad said nobody would notice which just goes to show you shouldn't trust your brother. I suppose that when you are an old mum like I was when it was born (22) is to be expected.
My electricity is being cut off because I don't have any tanners for the meter.
My next door neighbor is currently knocking seven shades of shit out of something made of cement. My security guards are on their way.
I can't sleep and I need to be up at 6.
Two of these facts are absolutey true.

I've found a way to be happy while my husband sexually experiments with llamas. Can you give me your stories about unusual domestic set-ups? It works for us!

What about those of us who can't afford a chef? would a ken wood cheffette be acceptable or work?

RowanMUMSNET Delete Delete!!!! Why haven't you deleted?! OP's bored this afternoon!

What have I missed now???
<tries to pay attention>

Have any mums got any compactor-based tales to cheer me up?

It's been a while.

What is a compactor? genuine query.
I also think that Rowan should get her finger out and onto the big orange button. But not before I find out what a compactor is.

It's still here?

The compactor troll is a late night phenomenon.

He only pops up once in a while, but when he does, he's as unnerving as ever. Unnerving and consistent.

A compactor troll?

And what have I missed again?.

Was there a woe is me thread that I missed?

I spotted The Other One.

Well I can beat you all

My unicorn ran off with my husband and ........I'm just to tired to make. Anything else up so just give me your money, as I clearly deserve it more than someone on a bed of bricks.

Ps someone pm me what I have missed

DP uses a compactor at work (well, actually it's called a Whacker plate), he uses it to <whispers> compact things!

Like cars and stuff?

Or erm, other things ... manure maybe?

Whacker plate? it sounds very glamorous.
Go on Rowan, you know you want to.

Hmm...so OP wanting to "wank himself purple" isn't worthy of a MN delete then?