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To expect an answer from my sister

(19 Posts)
FeistyLass Sun 20-Jan-13 14:34:48

I can only echo what everyone else has said. She might not have read it. My dh will sometimes use facebook when I'm still logged in. He just shuts down messages that appear which means it looks as though I've read them when I haven't. The problem is that when I next use it the message doesn't show as a new message so I can miss messages.
I appreciate you don't want to phone but I think you have to or else send her a letter through the post (you could even use the same wording as your facebook message). At least then you'll know she'll receive it. I hope you do hear back and get the support you need.

garlicblocks Sun 20-Jan-13 14:08:00

I'm afraid phoning is the sensible thing to do! It is hard to ask for support, yes, especially when you fear being rejected. You've already surmounted that obstacle, though - well done! - and have asked. When you ring, you could start by asking whether she's had time to read your FB message, then you're over the awkward bit smile

Btw, my phone app puts FB messages in the activity bar - and marks them as read when I've expanded the bar. I may only have seen the first few words.

perplexedpirate Sun 20-Jan-13 14:07:09

To be fair, my Facebook is a bugger for not letting me access my messages.
I really would phone her, she'll probably be mortified.

Pancakeflipper Sun 20-Jan-13 14:04:27

Sorry - crossed posts.

Pancakeflipper Sun 20-Jan-13 14:03:33

Phone. Otherwise you are left wondering. If you phone and she says no - then you know and you replan and get help from elsewhere.

Wonger Sun 20-Jan-13 14:01:38

Thanks for the advice. Tbh can't bring myself to call her, we don't have that kind of relationship. Theres a lot of resentment there after she left home and moved to another country. When we do talk on the phone I am usually left crying at her put downs and guilt trips (elderly disabled mother and apperently I'm not doing enough, while she washed her hands of it by moving away).. I guess am just feeling sorry for myself and tired of dealing with everything on my own. Sometimes it just gets to much and most of the time I just get on with it but just feel lately I'm looking at a 10ft wall and no way over.. Thanks for all the advice. Will leave it for now, and see if replys to me. Once again, thank you x

allthegoodnamesweretaken Sun 20-Jan-13 13:57:11

Just ring her and say, "oh btw did you see the message I sent you on fb?"

DeepRedBetty Sun 20-Jan-13 13:53:52

I don't bother to read messages on FB a lot of the time, anything really important will be sent to me by proper email, phone call or letter. To me FB is something I dip in or out of occasionally, and it can be several weeks between proper visits.

Bunbaker Sun 20-Jan-13 13:52:50

If I wanted help Facebook would be the last method of communication I would consider. I hardly ever look at my FB page, but I look at my normal email inbox every day. I would phone her because if it was an email she might think it wasn't urgent whereas a phone call is much more here and now.

DontmindifIdo Sun 20-Jan-13 13:51:51

If it took you 3hours to get to the sending it stage, you need to allow her time to read it and think if she is able to say yes or no. Without knowing what it is, it could be she wants to talk it through with her DP before replying. If also, via facebook and she uses her phone for that, it could be she's not read the whole message if it's long.

can you see when she's next on-line with facebook and send her a 'hello' message and chat?

FringeEvent Sun 20-Jan-13 13:50:26

Showing as 'read' on FB means absolutely squat - all it indicates is that your message was up on the screen while the FB window was the 'active' window on the computer, it doesn't mean she actually read the message, or even that she was aware it was there. Maybe she saw the message window pop up while she was in the middle of something else, and closed the window without reading the content thinking she could come back and see what it said later, and then it simply slipped her mind (I do that all the time, it's only facebook so I wouldn't assume it was anything urgent/important). Or maybe someone else was on the computer and the message showed up when they went to the FB page, before they logged out of your sisters account so they could access their own.

Paiviaso Sun 20-Jan-13 13:45:54

How do you know she has read the email?

I agree that phone would be a better way to approach her, sometimes messaging can lead to misunderstandings.

Wonger Sun 20-Jan-13 13:42:58

Yeah it was an email sent via FB so if I look at the message it's coming up as read (the day after I sent it). It was a very difficult message I write and took me over an hr to write it and another 2 hours to hit the send button. It's hard to admit you are failing and ask for help, and even harder to be ignored. Just wish she would even reply with a "Thought about it, and can't do anything for you".. The silence is the killer.

How do you know she's read it?
I'd phone her.

quoteunquote Sun 20-Jan-13 13:41:32

Phone her up, I doubt she has seen the email.

DeepRedBetty Sun 20-Jan-13 13:40:09

Just because the email's been sent doesn't mean she's read it. I think you need to phone her. There may be something going on her life which you don't know about.

ChristmasJubilee Sun 20-Jan-13 13:38:01

How do you know she has read the e-mail? I think you need to speak to her on the phone. At least you will know where you stand.

Earlybird Sun 20-Jan-13 13:37:36

It is hard to ask (when you are accustomed to being self sufficient), and harder still to be ignored.

Is she capable of doing the favour you asked? Would it entail difficulty or hardship for her, or put her in a tricky situation?

Wonger Sun 20-Jan-13 13:34:55

I would be a very proud person and don't like to ask for help, but due to recent circumstances I had to reach out to my sister and ask for some help and advice. It's now 10 days since I sent her the email and I know she has read it but has not even acknowledged my email.

I only have one sibling and we live in different countries so don't often see each other and when we do she always tells me to call her if I needed help. This is the first time I've ever reached out to her and her lack of reply is quite upsetting. Am dealing with a difficult situation and needed her help/guidance. Btw I wasnt asking for money or anything, just a favour. Am a single mother with no family/support and have raised my children solely for the past 4 yrs without any support or even contact from my family. Just this once I needed help and she won't even reply to say no. Theres a whole lot more to this story (as you proberbly can tell lol), but am just annoyed as it took a lot for me to finally ask for help and then to be ignored sad

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