To want to throw something at DP's DB

(180 Posts)
GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 02:28:01

My DP's DB has some unfortunate incidents hmm resulting in him now living back at home (with my DP and their Mum). He sleeps in the room directly next to where my DP and I sleep (I stay over quite a lot). It is currently about 2AM and he (DB) has returned from wherever he has been (I assume the pub) with a girl who he has been (ahem) seeing. I don't mind this, he is entitled to do what he liked with whoever he likes.

However, he had (clearly) woken me up as well as my DP as his understanding of the words 'quiet' and 'whisper' are nonexistent. The girl he's with is worse, her voice is just so loud and (I hate to say it) really chavy. They have put a film on though they are chatting over it.

The thing I hate most us that there's no consideration for. Anyone else in the house (bungalow so all rooms b close). My DP has work in the morning (chef- split shift tomorrow) and I can tell that he is not asleep.

AIBU to want to go and thump the (ahem) twonk and tell him to shut the hell up because he is keeping everyone up! He wakes me and DP up all the time, once before with this girl and many other times just by him and his loud mouth! This is excluding many other very selfish, disgusting and rude things that he has dome/does. It's not fair on my DP and I want to just through something at him!!

Sorry, I know this is long and probably seems pathetic, but it's really affecting my DP sad

You sound a bit judgemental about his reasons for living back home, but your DP lives there too so YABU to judge.

I can see why the noise is annoying but its really up to your DP to say something.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 02:31:50

How old are the two brothers?

What about not being fair on their parents?

Why aren't the pair of you sleeping at your house?

It isn't for you to object, it is your choice to stay there, they both live in someone else's house, if there is a problem, then the three of them need to sort it out during daytime hours.

HowTerriblyEngliscOfMe Sun 20-Jan-13 02:41:29

I agree with Birdsgottafly...

Why aren't you both sleeping in your house...not enough space? Too far away from his/your place of work? Surely its more important that you both get enough sleep...

Why not just chap the door, enter, and say "Could you keep the noise down, I'd like to get back to sleep." ? Yes, he is inconsiderate; but I'm really not understanding why you're lying there fuming rather than ask him to be considerate.

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 04:37:06

Asking him would have the complete opposite affect on him tbh sad he would likely be more loud just to spite us.
We're not at mine because don't think my parents like the idea of DP sleeping over, plus DP has work in the morning and it's further from my house.
While agree that they both live there, my DP ays rent to his Mum and DB does not -he does have a small job at a ub so could contribute something but doesn't,
He lives back at home because of a DUI conviction and lost his job as a result. He doesn't seem to show much remorse, so yeah, I do kind of judge a little.

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 04:38:15

DP is 24, DB is 27 next month, I forgot to say.

sooperdooper Sun 20-Jan-13 05:28:50

Get your own

sooperdooper Sun 20-Jan-13 05:30:05

Oops damn phone!

Get your own place then you won't have to worry about it, you don't have to stay there

DexysMidnightMummers Sun 20-Jan-13 05:36:28

Save up for a place of your own....if your DP is 24 and working there is no reson for you to live with his parents

complexnumber Sun 20-Jan-13 05:40:18

You are a guest in the house, there is no way you can tell him to quieten down in his own family home.

It will have to be your DP if anyone is going to say anything.

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 08:50:58

I would love to get our own place, but I am a student) and DP has loans to pay off and earns minimum wage. We are saving, but at this rate itll be a few years yet sad
Finally got to sleep at around 5.30 to be woken up at 7 for another hour. There was also a lot of, err, activity iyswim going on so hard to interrupt.
Thanks for replies smile I was wide awake with no hope of going back to sleep so I thought mumsnet hear I come lol smile

None of type business re how much they both party to their mum. Either you suck it up or leave and get your own place/rent a room in a house share. If you don't talk to the brother that is.

Argh, ignore the ridiculous typos, I've just woken up and am on my phone! Re being kept awake by 'activities' that's the best time to make a point! Compete with him on loudness our put them off or just knock on the door repeatedly grin

Doingakatereddy Sun 20-Jan-13 09:01:44

You are a guest in someone's else's home, it would be rude of you to complain.

Person I feel for is the brothers Mum, who has various entitled girls staying at her house.

lisylisylou Sun 20-Jan-13 09:02:24

No you are not. Everyone is entitled to sleep and they are old enough to understand especially at 24 & 27 years old. Even my kids at 7 & 8 know not to make much noise and come down to watch tv. DP works hard and it's hard working when you're knackered. If it was me in your situation I would ask politely at that point when they're making the most noise. Or mention it to your dp. There is nothing worse than being sleep deprived. I am expecting to get shot down in flames but hey ho I love my sleep!

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 09:18:27

Thanks lisylisyou, I just thought it was quite imcomsiderate of DB rather than anything else really.
As to me being one of these 'various entitled girls' in DP's mums house, I have been with DP for 2 years and we always make a conscious effort to keep noise levels to a minimum, therefore respecting the needs of others )in this case sleep needs). It would be nice for others to do the same. smile

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 09:20:35

Confused - haha! The thought of barging in makes my stomach church but is such a good thought. I never dreamed of doing that :D wish j had now.

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 09:22:17

Wish I had thought of the competing I mean. Sorry, brain being slow!

InNeatCognac Sun 20-Jan-13 09:22:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort Sun 20-Jan-13 09:25:56

If you know he makes a lot of noise grin at night why on earth do you continue sleeping over with your DP - its not essential you know, it sounds like you have a perfectly pleasant home with your own parents.

I feel incredibly sorry for your DP's mother, having all sorts of visitors at night, don't know how she puts up with it.

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 09:26:57

Ok, so if I'm unreasonable as I am the guest, what about my DP? He lives there but DB has no respect for his needs. DP knows confronting him directly last night would not have desired affect so didn't say anything.
Is it not reasonable to want to sleep in someone else's home? If I had guests I would deffonately be making an effort to make sure they slept well etc. I wouldn't dream of keeping a guest up all might. It shocks me that most would tbh

GoingBackToSchool Sun 20-Jan-13 09:30:43

His mum doesn't have 'all sorts of visitors' in her home. She has me, who she considers family according to my DP, and this girl who's been round a few times (can't remember the name though confused)

InNeatCognac Sun 20-Jan-13 09:33:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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