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I don't buy/use second hand, ie clothes, electricals, toys, shoes, etc (New to MN)

(243 Posts)
HowTerriblyEngliscOfMe Sun 20-Jan-13 01:08:17

Nor have I ever. Not as a child, not as a teenager, not as an adult and now, not as a parent. If you have the money to not to need to go second hand for things, why are others so disgusted at the concept that you don't? I understand why people do it even when they don't need to, and I know there are plenty of people who don't have any other choice, but why can't people just leave me to it? It's my family, my home and my decision.

It's my mil who gets the most distressed about it. She will go on at me about it every chance she gets and I really don't understand what her problem is. I don't NEED to save that extra few hundred pounds, I don't NEED to buy toys and clothes in charity shops, I don't NEED to buy my electricals from eBay, so what is her problem?

When we started collecting things in preparation of our first child's birth, she was so weirdly mortified that dp and I were going out buying new nursery furniture and clothes, car seat, soft toys etc. She would utterly panic when we would mention that we were researching cots or buggies.

"But this person had a baby last year, you could have theirs! I'm sure they wouldn't mind! Let me get you their number..."

It got worse when dd was born she would come and thrust other peoples old baby clothes at me and continue to suggested people who had things they could give us, or come bringing baby toys from charity shops. Eventually I got so frustrated with it, I just told her outright to stop, quite forcefully actually. But it just continued a few years later when ds was born and it still continues today.

Do people really think IABU? Why? Anyone else out there like me?

Lueji Sun 20-Jan-13 01:12:21

Well, you may not need it, but would be the green thing to do.

But, if you don't want 2nd hand things, fair enough. Other people will get them, who possibly need (or want) to save more than you do.

BonkeyMollocks Sun 20-Jan-13 01:15:46

All right for some hmm

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 20-Jan-13 01:19:12

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Why get frustrated about your MIL buying second hand things for your baby? You can choose to buy new things all you like but it sounds like you have a problem with second hand things in general in which case I hope your income is always fantastic so you can continue to keep your child (and yourself) in expensive new things forever.

FlatsInDagenham Sun 20-Jan-13 01:24:10

Well I'm not like you, but I do thank you for buying new and (presumably) giving your lovely used things to a charity shop where I can buy them for a song.

Welcome to MN
<< fool>>>

GregBishopsBottomBitch Sun 20-Jan-13 01:24:34

I use 2nd hand stuff, im a lone parent, i dont have alot of money, and i just started working in a charity shop, for some people, its a lifeline.

Arisbottle Sun 20-Jan-13 01:26:32

I buy secondhand because it is often greener and I don't see the point in throwing money away..

No financial need to do so.

I feel quite sad that you did not do the whole vintage/ adapting secondhand close thing as a teenager. I thought that was something of a rite of passage.

HowTerriblyEngliscOfMe Sun 20-Jan-13 01:29:39

I never said I had a problem with other people buying things second hand, in fact I actually said I understood some people don't have a choice but to buy second hand...

I give a huge amount of things and money to charities. Everything in the house that is unneeded/no longer used always goes to a charity shop. I don't just throw perfectly good things away. But I've never shopped for second hand myself...

I don't understand the hate sad

DoodlesNoodles Sun 20-Jan-13 01:30:13

I mostly buy new.

I think it an OK thing to do. It is often easier to buy new and I would rather have the right thing rather than the 'well I suppose this will do' thing. IYSWIM I have almost never received 2nd hand stuff for my DC's. I was the first of my friends and family (generation) to have kids so there was nothing on offer.
Also, a lot of 2nd hand stuff is expensive and I can not be arsed using eBay etc.

Obviously if I have to I would do whatever I had to to make things work. I don't see anything wrong with 2nd hand stuff.

I also don't sell anything (very very rarely) and give my used stuff to a local charity so I don't have any 'guilt' over buying new.

So no bunfight from me smile

YANBU. If nobody ever bought anything new, where would second hand things come from?

I have a very limited budget and most of my clothes are from charity shops, I get quite a kick out of finding interesting items that way,but appreciate it's not for everyone. Similarly, while I've gratefully accepted donations for DD of clothes/toys/whatever, every so often I want to get her something new! Not to mention, for bigger, one-off purchases such as pram/buggy etc, I'd rather choose something for myself than be limited to somebody else's choice glares resentfully at rubbish second-hand pushchair which I can't justify the cost of replacing

If you can afford to buy everything new, go for it! and I'll have it when you're finished with it grin

Arisbottle Sun 20-Jan-13 01:32:34

There is no hate but lots of people choose to buy second hand when they could afford to buys new. I find it quite odd that you would not buy second hand on principle.

MarcelineTheVampireQueen Sun 20-Jan-13 01:34:18

I have an aversion to OTHER PEOPLES STUFF. I think its a sickness tbh, certain things repel me, dusty books, strangers counches, anyones clothes including my family (my sister sweats a lot) cant touch jewlery, dont even get me started on copper coins. My mam kept trying to give me my nans stuff after she died and Im sure it hurt her but I couldnt, freaked me out totally.

I do donate, albeit rarely because we use our stuff to the point of breaking.

Arisbottle Sun 20-Jan-13 01:35:00

A second hand book shop is one of my guilty pleasures.

JellicleCat Sun 20-Jan-13 01:37:11

Do you have a second hand house? Or is that new?

quoteunquote Sun 20-Jan-13 01:39:18

Do you buy all your antiques new also?grin

HowTerriblyEngliscOfMe Sun 20-Jan-13 01:39:26

DoodleNoodles - Thankyou for that. I feel the same way in terms of 'well that will do', that's what alot of second hand stuff feels like to me. Not what was actually required or wanted, just that will do.

Nellabutterfly - Did think of putting that first sentence of yours in my first post, because I think it's very true. And I do like to think that at least, if I don't buy second hand, someone gets all our stuff eventually anyway...

Arisbottle - It's not really principle, or maybe it is...I don't know what it is. I've just never done it, and I'm not used to it.

JellicleCat - The house was the house I was raised in, and ironically is very old...lol

CaptainNancy Sun 20-Jan-13 01:40:29

Ha! I was about to ask- have you never bought a 2nd hand car nor house?

ZooAnimals Sun 20-Jan-13 01:41:09

YANBU and I can't see why this thread should cause a bunfight.

If you want to buy stuff new, buy stuff new. It's no-one elses business and as Nella says somebody has to buy it new.

I do think YABU with regard to mother-in-law though.If she wants to buy your DC's a present, you should be grateful regardless of whether it is 2nd hand or not.

YANBU to not want to buy 2nd hand things, YABU to not want to receive 2nd hand things.

"YANBU to not want to buy 2nd hand things, YABU to not want to receive 2nd hand things."

This.

CaptainNancy Sun 20-Jan-13 01:44:02

car seat, travel system, soft toys- reasonable to want new.
Baby clothes- well, they only wear them once or twice sometimes, then they're outgrown- if everyone bought brand new, think of the resources used for that- that's pressure your putting on your child's future!

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Sun 20-Jan-13 01:46:14

On one hand, if people recycled and reused and passed on more things it would be better for the environment. On the other hand, buying new goods helps the economy. As long as you pass on stuff you no longer need rather than burning it or dumping it in landfill, I think it's up to you if you prefer new to used.

JellicleCat Sun 20-Jan-13 01:46:35

Was just being curious about the house, not starting a bun fight.

I like new stuff, but I also like second hand things too, especially when they are bargains. I also like a good rummage around the charity shops.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 01:48:22

It must be the principle with you OP, because of your unreasonable reaction with your MIL.

Ethically, yes, you are being unreasonable. That said, I know lots of people like you, and one more like Marceline, but she (friend) has OCD. Not her fault, so I'll forgive you too. smile

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