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AIBU to think school should give phone back?

(80 Posts)
wondermammy Sun 20-Jan-13 00:15:39

Hi all, my first post on here but really wanted peoples opinions on this. MY DD1 is 15 and in transition year in secondary school which i think is year 10 or 11 in england? anyways, last week DD's phone was taken off her in class for "texting"(don't suspect this as teacher has a vengeance against our family due to previous members being in school and she sits at the front , shes not stupid!!),the phone was sent to vice principals office and couldn't be retrieved for 24hrs and had to be collected by a parent/guardian!! As both DH and i work from 9-5 we couldn't collect phone and had to ask DU to collect it.DD had to do the journey home without a phone which involves a good 20-30 minute brisk walk followed by 10min journey on tram and she also does this alone. AIBU to think phone should have been given back at the end of the day and some kind of written punishment should have been given instead? if it had not of been for DU phone wouldn't of been collected at all!!!

Thanks all!

FelicityWasCold Sun 20-Jan-13 17:27:51

It's the vendetta bit that's tickling me.

I agree Ripi... Can you imagine the energy it takes, to hate families/kids for years.

It is such a horrible assertion that usually teens make about a teacher- as if you are the kind of person that takes against a student. How horrible a person would you need to be?

Cheeryble Sun 20-Jan-13 16:44:12

If it were my dd I'd tell her I'd collect the phone at a time convenient to me and not before. And that time would be not less than a week after the confiscation.

lljkk Sun 20-Jan-13 16:28:52

I am in physical pain trying to figure out what DU means (sigh). OP U R Cruel.

Was the teacher supposed to have bodily searched the girl to get the phone off her? How else did teacher get hold of it?

Mind boggles.

thegreylady Sun 20-Jan-13 15:51:11

DU = Domestic Underling grin

ripsishere Sun 20-Jan-13 15:49:19

It's the vendetta bit that's tickling me.
My DH is a teacher. I've lost count of the number of vendettas he has and the cost of an execution nowadays. Well, he has to sell all the phones he confiscates just to cover the paid for silence from the police.
Come back Op and tell us why there is a vendetta.

I got my phone took off me in high school, if i remember rightly the conversation with my dad went something along the lines of "tough, your own bloody fault and ill get it when i get round to it" He didnt get round to it very quickly with working 6am until after tea so i was without a phone. Never again did i get it confiscated though!

needtogetoffsofa Sun 20-Jan-13 13:59:06

grin@HoobleDoooble

soverylucky Sun 20-Jan-13 11:29:22

Perhaps the reason op's dd had her phone out in class is because she knows that whatever happens it is the teachers fault because of the problem she has with the family - some sort of vendetta. And anyway - mum will get it back for me.

Grow up op and be the parent here.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sun 20-Jan-13 11:23:14

Ooh! Xposting!

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sun 20-Jan-13 11:22:42

D'you think op will come back? hmm

RuleBritannia Sun 20-Jan-13 11:15:54

OP hasn't come back after the first YABU, has she/he? It looks as if the message has got through.

If my DS1 had his phone confiscated at school for texting in class, I would assume he wasn't yet mature enough in attitude to take a phone into school.

Once we got the phone back from the school, I would confiscate it myself for at least a week.

I would also support the school on principle. The rules and policies have probably been in place since your DD started there, and by sending her to the school you are agreeing to abide by them.

Do you or your children have previous 'form' in terms of not supporting the teachers' decisions? If so, then the 'vendetta' question has been answered as far as I am concerned.

bluer Sun 20-Jan-13 09:17:32

Yabvu! Firstly your dd was texting...you're very gullible if you believe anything else. Secondly your daughters behaviour is impacting on her education...i'm sure you'll appreciate that it's not a one off (some pupils have the bloody things surgically stretched)...and you need to be responsible for ensuring she gets 100% education not 50% listening 50% chatting with a mate who's probably in same class.

Flobbadobs Sun 20-Jan-13 09:13:53

The HT at DS's high school explained it this way:
Phones are allowed as long as they are turned off in school time. If the phone is seen then it's confiscated until the end of the day, the pupil collects it.
If it's seen again the parent has to collect it. It's done this way to purposely inconvenience everryone to make the point to the child that they broke the rule. Hopefully the parent will be so annoyed with the child that they will back the school up wrt the phone policy.
YABU.

GinandJag Sun 20-Jan-13 09:08:20

I think this is a ver typical school policy - to have it picked up by a parent after a specified amount of time.

Perhaps your DD will learn her lesson having inconvenienced both the school and her parents.

McNewPants2013 Sun 20-Jan-13 09:06:40

your DD is lucky, Because if my child was disturbing a class with her mobile phone then when she got home then she will not be allowed it then.

A teacher at a local school has a large plastic tray on her desk which the pupils put their phones in for the lesson & get them back after lesson ends. Says a lot for her relationship with her class that they all comply !!

Groovee Sun 20-Jan-13 08:57:54

Do you not think you should be teaching your daughter basic manners and respect that the phone should be switched off and not being used during lessons?

HoobleDooble Sun 20-Jan-13 08:56:09

What happens if there's a 4th time (am thinking maybe stamped on infront of the whole school at a special assembly)?

olivo Sun 20-Jan-13 08:52:19

Ours is the same as yours cricketball.

cricketballs Sun 20-Jan-13 08:45:33

Nina - we have similar; first time end of the day (have to collect from office so they keep a record), 2nd time end of week and parent has to collect, 3rd time end of that half term, again parents collect

FelicityWasCold Sun 20-Jan-13 08:44:31

OP you'd hate me, it's a min of 24 hours here, which means on a Friday it is confiscated until Monday.

I average one every Friday grin

I don't hate kids, I hate disruption.

Nincompoopery Sun 20-Jan-13 08:40:14

LAlady - wow, end of term? Just curious, does that deter the pupils? I would hope so.
In the school I work in phones are confiscated until the end of the day, this is not enough of a deterrent. The average number of phones I have confiscated until the end of the day is 4 per lesson.It's not just the texting these days though. Most pupils now have iphones, blackberrys and as such the issues now are videos, bbm, google, YouTube etc... It's a nightmare and disruptive for the teacher and the whole of the class.
YABVU- if the rules are clearly set out, then as a parent your responsibility should be to uphold these with your DD, thereby giving her a valuable lesson in how to respect her education, rules and those around her!

LIZS Sun 20-Jan-13 08:38:43

Are you 15 ?

olivo Sun 20-Jan-13 08:37:47

Well, if I had my way,anyone with a phone disturbing my lesson would be sent to run 10 laps of the school field holding the blooming phone above their head wink

Seriously though, OP, I'm sure you now know YABU. Mobiles and iPods are the bane of most teachers' life.

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