To expect DP to prioritise my birthday over nephew's christening?

(172 Posts)
Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 16:34:08

This year, my birthday falls on a Sunday. When I saw DP's brother at Christmas, he mentioned two possible Sundays for his son's Christening, neither of which were the Sunday of my birthday. Today I get home and open an invite addressed to myself and DP announcing that the christening IS on my birthday.
Because I have to work the Friday and Saturday evenings of my birthday weekend, I'd said to DP that rather than having a big night out with him and friends on the Saturday as we usually do (I wouldn't expect people to come out on a Sunday night when they have work in the morning) I would just like to do something nice with him during the day. The christening is a long drive away and going to it would scupper any birthday plans of mine. I naturally assumed that DP would say we couldn't go, but instead he reckons there's no way he's missing his nephew's christening (even though he doesn't believe in God?!). While I wouldn't tell him not to go, I've told him that I'm not keen on going myself, to which he just said fine! I'm really smarting now. I understand that his nephew is important to him, but surely I should be important too? Since we had set aside the day to do something for my birthday first, AIBU to feel hurt about this?

I guess he is just not that serious about you, if he thinks he does not have to go to your nephews Christening.

sukysue Fri 18-Jan-13 20:02:57

Well I have to say I think it's not very nice of you to be like this about his nephew, he's only a child and you are supposed to be the grown up in all this . Try and put a different spin on it and think instead brilliant we can combine my birthday with a lovely family celebration come on now you can do it.

BoneyBackJefferson Fri 18-Jan-13 20:08:10

PureQuintessence
"I guess he is just not that serious about you, if he thinks he does not have to go to your nephews Christening."

That is a fairly huge leap and not far away from a controlling attitude.

pippibluestocking Fri 18-Jan-13 20:10:07

Er - how old are you?

ZZZenAgain Fri 18-Jan-13 20:13:40

well whoever is having a birthday on the Sunday of the christening and is working the Friday and Saturday nights prior to the birthday, is that person working Friday and Saturday night the next week? If not, have the party or celebration a week later and be the bigger guy wrt the christening. An extra week to prepare, lose weight, bake a cake, etc

I have postponed my birthday a couple of times because dd had a concert or dh was overseas. Not that I make a big hoo-ha out of it as a rule anyway. Dd has had her birthday party a week late because another girl in her class was having a party on the same day. These things happen, it is no big deal in the end.
The birthday man or woman can get breakfast in bed and a present on the actual day and have a celebration a week later. It is no problem

StuntGirl Fri 18-Jan-13 20:17:57

It seems so madbuslady! Birthdays are lovely at Chez Stunt, everyone gets cards and presents and decorations and balloons regardless of age. I am partial to birthday badges and that glittery crap you put inside cards too grin I make cakes for everyone, I'm actually currently sourcing a Hulk Hogan shaped cake tin for my brothers next birthday cake! He'll be 25.

Mind you, I like Events of any kind full stop, so I would be partial to a christening too. I was discussing this thread with my boyfriend earlier and we decided if we were in this situation the birthday boy/girl would be a bit disappointed initially to have to share their day but we'd make up for it with a yummy breakfast in bed, a fab family get together at the christening then go out for a lovely meal later. Plus knowing our friends and family the beers would be flowing for the birthday person anyway. Best of all worlds!

feministefatale Fri 18-Jan-13 20:20:01

HOld on, I think if someone is going to reverse AIBU, I don't think you can blame posters for not trawling through 8 pages, just to find that out.

feministefatale Fri 18-Jan-13 20:21:40

tell him to go go to the christening first thing and then go out, if you can face him after he has been a such a whiner

MamaBear17 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:29:47

YABU as other have said. It is your nephew and he will only have one Christening. My 30th is coming up this year and I am trying to organise a birthday lunch (and my first ever birthday party - I have never had one) and hubby has agreed to one date but only if his team arent playing football that day! At least your husband has a proper reason!

Spuddybean Fri 18-Jan-13 21:13:52

Madbus and Stunt - i also make a massive fuss of birthdays, my own and DH's (this year i knew our baby would be a few days old so 2 months before i bought and wrapped lovely presents and we went on a lovely mini break to the peaks)...BUT i am happy to share the celebrations with others happy occasions and also fine to have the fuss on another day, all the fun is about sharing and seeing loads of people - i usually spread it out over numerous weekends...in fact i don't have a birth day i have a birth month and it's just an excuse for enjoyment, if an excuse was needed. no presents are expected btw

However, I think if you insist it's celebrated on the day, regardless of what else is going on, and demand a fuss be made over you rather than just sharing the fun, then you are immature and a bit of a childish prat.

nannyof3 Fri 18-Jan-13 21:15:53

A christening is a million times more important than a birthday...

Family should always come first!!!!

FredFredGeorge Fri 18-Jan-13 21:25:35

nannyof3 If you're not religious, why is a christening relevant at all, I would be pretty unlikely to do a long drive for a christening of a niece or nephew.

And why does a nephew trump a partner, surely both are family?

OxfordBags Fri 18-Jan-13 21:29:10

Can you imagine being an adult and actually saying to other adults, "Sorry, we can't come to your child's christening because it's on my birthday"?! Might as well end with "Also, you smell of weewee, you big poo-face, ner ner!".

I would be momentarily miffed for a nanosecond and then think of fun birthday things to do the day before. It also gives you an excuse to buy a really nice outfit for your birthday, which you don't generally do!

apostropheuse Fri 18-Jan-13 21:34:05

I hate "reverse" AIBU. What is the bloody point of them?

They're just so stupid.

Anyway, I don't think this was originally a reverse AIBU I think the OP was embarrassed into it becoming one.

SamuelWestsMistress Fri 18-Jan-13 21:38:24

YANBU.

Only joking! Of course you are.

shesariver Fri 18-Jan-13 21:51:27

What is the point of reverse AIBU? Lots of people inevitably dont realise or see, long after OP has confessed so the thread becomes boring and nonsensical.

2rebecca Fri 18-Jan-13 22:49:01

I hate reverse AIBUs because there is no real debate on them and the poster just uses them to manipulate the other person they are fighting. I think the OP should grow a pair and be able to tell her husband he is being unreasonable without getting the backup of mumsnet first.
I do like birthdays however, and wouldn't expect my birthday to be ignored if I was going to a small sprog christening. I'd still expect presents!

StuntGirl Sat 19-Jan-13 02:25:23

See I do think the OPs partner has reacted childishly, but its like I said in my first post its just mixed expectations. A bit of a chat should come up with a compromise.

I'm just not of the mind that "Fuck your birthday we must all cease celebrating birthdays you pathetic, whiny child" is anywhere on the compromise list.

holidaysarenice Sat 19-Jan-13 02:34:27

Grow up! Go to the christening, do something nice on the way home.

Actually who is the adult, and who is the baby??

sashh Sat 19-Jan-13 05:51:57

Birthdays happen every year, christenings happen once.

exoticfruits Sat 19-Jan-13 06:05:33

I am not going to read every post to find out if it was reverse or not- the whole thing is silly- just celebrate your birthday a different day.

2littlemonkeys Sun 20-Jan-13 12:23:03

Yabu is it a special birthday?

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