ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.

To expect DP to prioritise my birthday over nephew's christening?

(172 Posts)
Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 16:34:08

This year, my birthday falls on a Sunday. When I saw DP's brother at Christmas, he mentioned two possible Sundays for his son's Christening, neither of which were the Sunday of my birthday. Today I get home and open an invite addressed to myself and DP announcing that the christening IS on my birthday.
Because I have to work the Friday and Saturday evenings of my birthday weekend, I'd said to DP that rather than having a big night out with him and friends on the Saturday as we usually do (I wouldn't expect people to come out on a Sunday night when they have work in the morning) I would just like to do something nice with him during the day. The christening is a long drive away and going to it would scupper any birthday plans of mine. I naturally assumed that DP would say we couldn't go, but instead he reckons there's no way he's missing his nephew's christening (even though he doesn't believe in God?!). While I wouldn't tell him not to go, I've told him that I'm not keen on going myself, to which he just said fine! I'm really smarting now. I understand that his nephew is important to him, but surely I should be important too? Since we had set aside the day to do something for my birthday first, AIBU to feel hurt about this?

Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 16:56:44

Ok, for those who bet their last penny...yes I confess this is a reverse AIBU!

I thought DP was being childish about this, but I know mumsnetters are often keener to flame men's behaviour than women's so I thought I'd put it to you the other way round.

Now I have my answer. I'm off to show this thread to him! Thanks ladies...

LittleChimneyDroppings Fri 18-Jan-13 16:56:51

Of course you are unreasonable. You can celebrate your birthday the weekend before or after. Why wouldn't you do that? You sound very childish and entitled.

OP is sulking in the corner now.

LittleChimneyDroppings Fri 18-Jan-13 16:57:43

X post.

Deux Fri 18-Jan-13 16:57:54

YABU. What makes you so special? Good grief, get a grip.

If it was your brother's baby getting christened and your DP's birthday, what would you expect him to do?

oops x post

TheYamiOfYawn Fri 18-Jan-13 16:58:15

This has to be a reverse AIBU, surely.

How can that possibly be reasonable?

OurPlanetNeptune Fri 18-Jan-13 16:59:07

What a stupid excuse for a reverse IABU. They are flipping crap. YABU for simply not being upfront.

MadBusLady Fri 18-Jan-13 16:59:46


I hope he's ready for tons more people to come on, not read your 2nd post, and rant long into the night...

QOD Fri 18-Jan-13 17:00:09

I totally understand, it's a big thing becoming 13


LadyHarrietdeSpook Fri 18-Jan-13 17:00:25

YABU totally insane.

Unfortunately, I don't think it's a reverse AIBU, there are plenty of adults out there who are this extraordinarily self absorbed and immature.

My own mother caused mayhem on the day of her grand-daughter's christening - it was US Mother's Day, dontcha know, and the day never 'stopped' being about DD and about her instead. She actually tore a strip off of us after hosting a party for 60 people and spending four hours driving home.

Please don't behave this way. Please. Unless you really enjoy creating unhappiness and animosity amongst family members.

MadBusLady Fri 18-Jan-13 17:00:37

Am now grin that I called him princessy.

MammaTJ Fri 18-Jan-13 17:00:40

So, OP, it is your nephew and your DPs birthday?

Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 17:01:32

Yes, it is my nephew and my DPs birthday.

catwisd Fri 18-Jan-13 17:01:57

so who's birthday is it and who is getting christened?

catwisd Fri 18-Jan-13 17:03:18

sorry, it was answered already. how old is your DP?

Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 17:03:45


FeltOverlooked Fri 18-Jan-13 17:03:53

YABU and also mean and petty and immature.

Softlysoftly Fri 18-Jan-13 17:05:16

Wow don't make him a DH

MadBusLady Fri 18-Jan-13 17:07:19

Ooh. Is he 35 now or going to be 35?

I'm 34, I consider 35 to be a bit of a big one. sad That may just be me.

bedmonster Fri 18-Jan-13 17:07:47

Dammit! Late to the party as per usual. And I had a witty retort too! Will save it for another time!
But yes, HIBU.

Winterbluesinmyhead Fri 18-Jan-13 17:08:38

He's going to be 35.

FeltOverlooked Fri 18-Jan-13 17:09:18

Sorry, your DP is being unreasonable, mean, petty and immature.

KnightBusRider Fri 18-Jan-13 17:09:19


Your DP needs to grow the hell up, frankly. What an idiot.

mercibucket Fri 18-Jan-13 17:12:21

Yup, time to trade up I think, op

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