AIBU? DS wants to go sledging, I've said no because......

(35 Posts)
januaryjojo Fri 18-Jan-13 13:41:31

He has been suspended from school this week for fighting.

His siblings have all gone to the big hill sledging and he wants to go too and I've said no, he is now sulking in his room, screaming at me that's it not fair hmm .

He is nearly twelve by the way.

WhateverTrevor Fri 18-Jan-13 18:20:28

Circuitous, like that word I am going to use it tomorrow !
Op Yanbu and I feel for you, but have no words of wisdom.

feralgirl Fri 18-Jan-13 18:03:05

I think I'm right in saying that, when excluded, students are still supposed to be at home (theoretically) studying and accompanied by an adult. At my school we have exclusion packs of work that kids have to complete. We also have to notify the police and the EWO when we do a fixed term exclusion and if kids are spotted out and about then they are picked up and taken home (although I imagine this would be impossible if an exclusion coincided with a snow day).

In a circuitous way, I am saying that no, YADNBU!

Startail Fri 18-Jan-13 17:48:13

YANBU
I remember DS1 from next door coming round to borrow some tool or another for DS2.

DS2 was not allowed out due to being suspended from school.

DS1 said DS2 was very fed up of being grounded and we agreed that was exactly the point.

If he spent 3 days chasing about on his bike, it would be a pretty useless punishment.

I don't think his mum enjoyed having him stuck at home either.

Bobyan Fri 18-Jan-13 17:38:49

Stick to your guns, you need to carry on being firm and consistent.

polkadotsrock Fri 18-Jan-13 17:34:20

I wouldn't be letting him out after school time either, if he's grounded then he's grounded. Totally the right thing to do.

Yfronts Fri 18-Jan-13 17:28:13

Well done. I agree with you and would have done the same.

YANBU.

But if comes down and apologises for being a stroppy brat and screaming at you, then I'd be inclined to let him go tomorrow. smile

Smellslikecatspee Fri 18-Jan-13 17:15:51

Hope you get whats at the bottom of his acting out too.

In our family grounding meant that you did not leave the house except for school/PT job etc.

Its his bad luck it snowed/ schools out

bedmonster Fri 18-Jan-13 17:15:07

YANBU. It's serious and maybe he will realise it now when he's not going to get to enjoy the snow.

Goldmandra Fri 18-Jan-13 17:14:29

I think you are doing exactly the right thing by making sure the punishment is a punishment but I agree that going out after school would have finished seems fair.

The fact that he is happy to sit at home doing school work would concern me. Has he been seen by CAMHS?

Could he be getting suspended from school deliberately because it's easier to cope at home?

StuntGirl Fri 18-Jan-13 17:11:24

Suspension would equal grounding here too, so YANBU. I hope you can get to the bottom of his behaviour problems soon.

CremeEggThief Fri 18-Jan-13 17:00:07

Yep, YANBU. He deserves it!

freddiefrog Fri 18-Jan-13 16:53:47

Sod it, posted to soon

Suspension from school would earn at least a grounding from me, so they wouldn't be going out whatever the reason

freddiefrog Fri 18-Jan-13 16:52:49

YANBU

Suspension from school would earn a grounding at least from me

TidyDancer Fri 18-Jan-13 16:48:00

You have absolutely done the right thing. No doubt at all.

Reaa Fri 18-Jan-13 16:45:46

You have done the right thing smile

LaCiccolina Fri 18-Jan-13 16:41:10

I can't think of a damn thing else u can do either. Apart from talking. And I doubt he's interested in that.....?

TroublesomeEx Fri 18-Jan-13 14:17:59

Well it sounds like you're doing everything you can do then - including taking the suspensions seriously.

I think I would agree with Inaflap though and let him go out when the school day officially ends. He needs to keep up with his friends and let off some steam too.

Inaflap Fri 18-Jan-13 14:12:27

As a teacher, can I just say that I wish there were more parents like you. You are doing the right thing but I would let him go out adter school officially finishes.

Cherriesarelovely Fri 18-Jan-13 14:10:49

Well done OP. You are doing exactly the right thing in showing him how seriously you take his suspension

januaryjojo Fri 18-Jan-13 14:09:06

folkgirl

Hi, yes, we've had meetings with school and ed psych, everything just moves very slowly........

He appears to have gone quiet...........

TroublesomeEx Fri 18-Jan-13 14:03:51

YANBU.

Although it sounds like there might be more going on for him if he's happy to do school work from the school website whilst he's on suspension.

Have you spoken to school about him?

SkinnybitchWannabe Fri 18-Jan-13 14:03:48

YADNBU There's no way I'd let my son go out if he'd been suspended..stick to your guns and don't give in at all

McNewPants2013 Fri 18-Jan-13 14:03:05

Yanbu

januaryjojo Fri 18-Jan-13 14:01:48

laciccolina

Absolutely, tv in bedroom is gone, Xbox is gone, Xbox games gone, access to his netbook for school work only. And I check the history to make sure.
No mobile phone.

Front room tv is off all day too.

Suspension isn't a punishment for him, it's a punishment for me. Or at least that's how it feels.

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