With two months to go, a friend (Mary) has dropped out of my hen do. Yesterday's email to her requesting payment prompted her to check her diary and realise the trip to Italy she booked last week clashes.
Problem is, when the hen do was originally organised and booked, it was on the basis of her confirming that she was definitely able to attend. This means there is now a £150 shortfall.
................................................
SOME FACTS
~The hen do has been arranged by my friends
~When initially discussing my expectations/desires for a hen do, my main concerns were that it ought to be as equidistant as possible from all attendees and have the option of a scaled-back attendance and consequent reduced cost for those with kids (this was fulfilled)
~I suggested that I wasn't comfortable asking anyone to pay more than £120 in total at the very most.
~Mary does not have children
~Last year I attended Mary's hen do, which was a similar cost up front, and cost me about £350 when all was said and done.
~It's only just come to light to me that Mary is the only one who did not pay 50% deposit last autumn. I don't think this is because she never intended to come, more that she is quite difficult to pin down by email, rarely checking her hotmail emails, and not able to use work email for personal correspondence. I was not aware of this prior to the hen do being organised, we tend to communicate via text mostly.
~In her words, she's simply had a 'blonde moment' in double-booking this weekend which is wholly believable. She's very upfront and if it were about anything other than a genuine oversight, I believe she'd have said.
~I recognise that having friends organise my hen do on my behalf might have left me open to a situation such as this arising. Had I done it myself I could have chased Mary up for the deposit before Christmas and the situation wouldn't have arisen. My friends were keen to do it for me though, I only ever wanted quite a simple do and with so much else to organise I thought I may as well hand it over.
~At this point in time, I do not have the exact details about what monies have been paid that are non-refundable etc. I was just told last night that without Mary's attendance, there is a £150 shortfall.
~No mention has been made of money by Mary. I don't know if she is aware that her dropping out at this late stage has the consequence of a shortfall.
~The organisers suggested we just share the cost between the other attendees, but Im not comfortable with that and have said if it comes to it, I would rather cover it myself.
~I am aware this is not strictly an "AIBU" question.
SO.......
Who ought to pay the missing £150? Mary? Me? The organisers? The remaining hens? If Mary, how should it be handled?
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AIBU?
Hen do shortfall - who should pay?
61 replies
ViviPru · 17/01/2013 07:20
OP posts:
Adversecamber ·
17/01/2013 07:49
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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