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To still be hurt by a friend by this silly thing?

(32 Posts)
LibraryMum8 Thu 17-Jan-13 00:13:21

This is my first posting asking if AIBU, so please go easy on me!

When my good friend had her second baby, as a gesture I made her a meal and took it to her house. It was Mexican, she and her family adore Mexican food. I made one for myself, and I made one for her and froze it (it froze well) because I wasn't seeing her for a few days. I thought she could pop it in the freezer for a nice dinner when she needed something.

1) They love Mexican. 2) They ate at our house all the time, they love our food 3) I'm a good cook she knew the meal was going to be good 4) We have a clean house. It wasn't cooked in an unclean house 5) I wasn't giving her old food. I made it just the day before, and she knew it. I didn't pull something out of my freezer and give it to her.

SO a week goes by, no mention of the meal. Two weeks, Three weeks, a month. SIX months goes by. I never mention it, but am mystified why she never baked that meal for them!

Finally, one of the next times I'm over (Over six months from when I got it), she rummages in her freezer and says, "I might as well give this back to you, we never ate it". I was mortified! So she give me back my (glass pan and all) and no other explanation.

I was too embarrassed/mortified/wondering what the hell was up to even comment. I just took the still foil wrapped up glass pan and threw it in my car. I never said I word.

AIBU? Is this weird? Why would she do this? Am I missing something?!!

Monty27 Thu 17-Jan-13 00:17:14

Was it too spicy if she was bfing? confused

TWinklyLittleStar Thu 17-Jan-13 00:22:00

But she wouldn't know it was too spicy, she hadn't tried to eat it. How odd! I don't know about being hurt OP, I think I would be too bemused to be upset.

SugarMouse1 Thu 17-Jan-13 00:22:46

Don't worry too much

decide whether its worth the friendship or not

it is thoughtless what she's done, but its not worth being sad over

hth
xxx

ebersneezer Thu 17-Jan-13 00:25:46

How odd! I can understand a situation where they put it on the freezer and forgot. I freeze some things and they then become the mystery food that gets defrosted for a Jacket spud topping grin The odd thing gets thrown because we really can't remember how long it's been there for and can't smell what it could possibly be. To hand it back to you? Strange. If we'd discovered it I would have least throw the contents, washed the dish and said thanks that was great.

LibraryMum8 Thu 17-Jan-13 00:29:58

ebersneezer that's just what I would do too!

suburbophobe Thu 17-Jan-13 00:31:49

Stop cooking for her, she obviously doesn't appreciate it.

<wish I'd been around, I love Mexican food!>

irishchic Thu 17-Jan-13 00:33:08

Thats just bloody rude actually. Your friend is pretty ignorant.

TidyDancer Thu 17-Jan-13 02:11:08

Yes this is odd and rude.

If someone had been so thoughtful to my family when we'd just had a baby, but for whatever reason we ended up not being able to eat the meal, I would bloody lie about it! Even if it meant we had to throw the food away and hand back an empty dish! You'd say "thank you, it was delicious, sorry we hadn't got your dish back to any sooner" etc.

Your friend is very strange.

TidyDancer Thu 17-Jan-13 02:11:29

Oh, and YANBU!

YANBU.

How thoughtful. Making a meal for someone who probably won't feel like cooking is a lovely idea!

I wonder if she was expecting a more material gift such as flowers or something for the new baby? Or, as another poster said, she may have been avoiding spicy food while she was breast feeding.

It's clearly bothering you so ask her when you see her next. You don't have to be rude, you could say "Thank you for returning the glass dish. Just out of curiosity, have you gone off Mexican food? I really thought you'd enjoy it." Then just let it go. I'd be upset too but if she's a good friend it's not worth worrying about.

Kytti Thu 17-Jan-13 02:44:43

How strange. Why didn't she just find it, chuck it out if she didn't want it then lie to you about how great it was when she gave you the dish back? How bloody rude!

"Why didn't she just chuck it out if she didn't want it then lie to you about how great it was when she gave you the dish back?"

Perhaps she thought it was better to be honest than wasteful confused. I wonder if she thought the OP and her family would eat it and that was better than throwing it away.

For what it's worth, if for some reason I hadn't wanted to eat it I would have washed the dish, said it was delicious and thanked you.

I find it odd that she gave no explanation when handing it back to you. I would have been embarrassed that I hadn't eaten it knowing that you had put thought and effort in to it. OP, you sound like a lovely friend.

LibraryMum8 Thu 17-Jan-13 03:55:42

Thank you all, I never thought of the bf thing...I'm wondering if that was it!! It seems like the only reasonable explanation!

Also it is very possible she thought that we would eat it if she returned it...that also seems very possible! Must give her slack with baby hormones.

INeedThatForkOff Thu 17-Jan-13 04:33:57

Erm no, she's just rude. I loved being cooked for when both DCs were born, and gladly ate whatever we were given, even though not much of it was stuff I'd actually have chosen to cook. Apart from anything else, you'd paid for all the ingredients and that at the very least deserved her thanks.

claraschu Thu 17-Jan-13 04:34:10

She sounds extremely rude, especially not even thanking and apologising profusely.
About the breastfeeding- I think that's a ridiculous explanation. Don't Mexican and Indian women breastfeed? They don't switch to a bland English diet in order to do it.

If I were the recipient of a good cook's talent then I would have eaten it that night!

Loveweekends10 Thu 17-Jan-13 05:04:02

You sound nice. She sounds rude. Baby hormones don't make you behave like that.

Agent64 Thu 17-Jan-13 09:33:07

I'm with Sparkle - if someone had done that for me, the food wouldn't have reached the freezer.

I can understand you being hurt.

Gomez Thu 17-Jan-13 09:42:21

Not such a big deal, you were there she remembered the dish and gave it back to you. Probably thinking as good friends you wouldn't mind. I wouldn't - it was a nice gesture on your part which I am sure she appreciated. The fact they didn't eat doesn't negate your kindness or her appreciation at the thought.

As an aside I probably wouldn't have eaten it either. I don't freeze meals and then reheat so anything like that would languish at the back of my freezer too. I do it with stuff all the time soups, stews etc. freeze then promise I will do something with them. They invariably got binned 6/12 months later.

Jins Thu 17-Jan-13 09:51:37

If it had been me I would probably have been sorted for meals for the next few days and I'd have stuck it in the freezer. Then I would have forgotten about it.

Crinkle77 Thu 17-Jan-13 09:56:24

That does sound a bit strange. Perhaps she just forgot it was there especially if she has a big freezer with lots of stuff in it maybe it just got a load of other stuff plonked on top of it. But if I were your friend I would have been too embarrassed to say anything at the time. If she did not want to eat it as it had been in the freezer for so long the polite thing to do would be to defrost it, give you the plate back and just pretend that she ate it ages ago but forgot to give you the dish back

valiumredhead Thu 17-Jan-13 09:58:28

Rude! <said in the voice of Miranda> shock

pigletmania Thu 17-Jan-13 11:44:22

Very rude and I would not cook for her again. If I forgot it in te freezer I would chuck the contents in the bin, say thanks very much and give you ack your pan

ViviPru Thu 17-Jan-13 11:50:21

Good grief people are odd aren't they.

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