Son's wife and my grandchild

(1000 Posts)
Frenchspeak Wed 16-Jan-13 20:36:08

Hello
Have changed my name to protect privacy, I apologise in advance as this might be very long and rambling. Basically I want to get some views from you to help me sort this issue

The issue is that I feel pushed out of my son’s life. I get on ok with his wife but i have always found her difficult and this has been made worse since they had a child.

When she first had the baby they requested only 2 visitors at a time. I can understand that they didn’t want to be overwhelmed with guests but feel parents and siblings are different. I wanted to see the baby with my husband and other son. This meant that my other sons girlfriend needed to come as well. So there would have been 4 of us. My son stated to please stick to what was originally said. We did do this but I feel resentful that I didn’t agree to it first of all, and that I couldn’t see my boys all together. I know this may sound silly, but i wanted to take photos of my husband, and both sons holding the baby.

This has come to a head because I was trying to organise a family party so everyone could see baby. My son said it seemed a nice idea but thought his wife might find it a bit full on. Surprise surprise, she doesn’t think she’s up to it and wants to have time just the 3 of them. I suggested she might want to just come for a couple of hours and then go home to rest. But she said she’d be taking the baby home with her. She seems to forget that we are her child’s family and need to be included.

I have tried talking to my son about it and he understands. But things just stay the same and it is very frustrating.

Fenton Thu 17-Jan-13 09:26:36

Hooray!

Fenton Thu 17-Jan-13 09:26:23

Classic

Fenton Thu 17-Jan-13 09:25:38

OMG

GrannyRatOnAScooter Thu 17-Jan-13 09:25:01

I am confused at the whole thread and don't know what to think.

The silence of MNHQ (with the exception of one "goodness") is deafening

Eskino Thu 17-Jan-13 09:23:48

YA exceedingly BU.

I agree, even the title of the thread had me taking sides....
and it wasn't yours love!

RubyGates Thu 17-Jan-13 09:23:23

It is a work of genius though.

LoopsInHoops Thu 17-Jan-13 09:20:38

Oh, come on now!

DoodlesNoodles Thu 17-Jan-13 09:19:44

Sorry Hully. blush

What do you think of the thread?

SneakyNuts Thu 17-Jan-13 09:18:29

Please PLEASE put this in classics!

GregBishopsBottomBitch Thu 17-Jan-13 09:17:15

OP Reminds me of the Mother in Everybody loves Raymond.

Fakebook Thu 17-Jan-13 09:16:53

Hello Frenchspeak.

That is all.

Hullygully Thu 17-Jan-13 09:16:10

EXCUSE ME

It's not me, I was out all evening AND I don't nc

huh.

elizaregina Thu 17-Jan-13 09:15:32

YES BUT SOMEone a few pages back said she is being taken to court and because the GC has no relationship with the GP gran isnt being taken seriously for access....this worries me!

WhataSook Thu 17-Jan-13 09:14:17

seabright I want to say no way...but after reading this I'd say she's already consulted one...

pumpkinsweetieMasPudding Thu 17-Jan-13 09:06:43

The sad thing is, i don't think it is a wind-up!
Trust me, there are mil out there like this-mine is one of them!
If this is real, my god that poor dil probably regrets the day she married into your family.
If she hasn't registered baby yet, i only hope she doesn't give her your surnamewink

blouseenthusiast Thu 17-Jan-13 09:06:25

www.amazon.co.uk/The-Good-Granny-Guide-Grandmother/dp/1904977081

Not read this but looks the kind of thing

sunshine401 Thu 17-Jan-13 09:04:46

What a load of rubbish this thread is. If this is for real I am assuming you do not actually speak this way to your son or DIL as if you did you would of been put right in your place. This is your son's new family you have to find a way of coming to terms with that before you lose them all together. You do not get to tell them anything and you are bonkers if you really believe otherwise. Let it go and wait for them to plan/invite you to stuff. Like any other Grandparent.

Seabright Thu 17-Jan-13 09:00:08

What's the betting OP goes to see a lawyer about "rights for grandparents"

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Thu 17-Jan-13 08:59:59

Am doing a cafetiere, anyone want some?

<yawn>

Adversecamber Thu 17-Jan-13 08:54:08

Three weeks post partum when visiting MIL at her house a couple of hundred miles away I had to endure a family dinner. I had specifically said I felt pretty ropey and had said please do not invite people over. I then had to sit through this dinner party with some of her relatives.

She had already seen DS the day after I had given birth.

ledkr Thu 17-Jan-13 08:53:34

5mad do us a coffee. I bowed out at 12 and was then woken at 2ny stupid baby who has been pretty much awake ever since.
She us so tired so is being annoying has done two poohs already and is wearing an aged ten skirt which I daren't take off hmm
Oh well at least I don't have a mil like frenchy

blouseenthusiast Thu 17-Jan-13 08:53:15

Didn't someone write a quite decent book about how to be a good grandparent? Might help OP if this is not a windup...

PeerieMootsMum Thu 17-Jan-13 08:52:27

YABH (hilarious)

I particularly like the bit about your horror of a DIL not agreeing that your grandchild should only wear hand knitted pink baby gros with a picture of you holding her sewn into the back...

Or did I dream that around the 3am feed... wink

thesnowmanrocks Thu 17-Jan-13 08:48:47

You sound like my mil. She did this when my ds was born. Even turned up at hospital with awful,biggest mouth sil after a traumatic labour then ecs. So very tired and even falling asleep when she was talking, she didn't get the hint to go. Was still wanting to come over when she wanted and even turning up without asking. It was very stressfull having this to deal with and definatly did not help my pnd.
So because of this she has only seen her dg 5-6 times in 4.9 years. And that was in the first few months of his life. She makes no effort, no b'day or xmas cards not even phones calls. So my ds is better of not having her in his life doesn't know about her. It is sad but she did it herself.
You want to carry on as you are fine, but you will push them away and end up having no relationship with them like my mil. It's very sad. You need more understanding for what she has/is going through. Hth.

DoodlesNoodles Thu 17-Jan-13 08:47:49

5madthings. The Asian thread is not worth reading. It is unpleasant in places. sad ( at least this one is funny) grin

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