Dd (16) has been with her first boyfriend since November. Both dd & b/f board at the same school (we are a military family) and so see each other every day, although they don't have any lessons together and don't live in the same house. As her parents dh and I haven't really had much to say about it other than the "its important to Be Safe" conversation that we've had with all our kids on a fairly regular basis since they hit their teens and we're quite open to discussion if they need advice or want to talk. B/f is German, joined the 6th form in sept and is only staying a year at the school a year.
Tonight dd has called me, chatted as usual and then said b/f had asked her to go stay with him in Germany either at half term or at Easter and could she go? I replied that dh and I would give it some thought but that I had to say it would be unlikely. She then snapped "so that's a no then" to which I repeated what I'd said and gave reasons that would make me uncomfortable with giving permission - she'd be in a foreign country if something happened which would mean I couldn't be there for her immediately; we've never met the boy or his parents (although ds also knows him) and he won't be at the school very long at all. She seems to think IABU and has said she's not a baby, she's not stupid and I've let her visit friends in other countries before so why not now. Apparently her friend's have been on holiday with their b/fs, stayed at their houses etc. I told her that has no bearing on my decision whatsoever and my role in life is to protect her and look out for her.
I feel I may be being slightly unreasonable as I know at her age I was staying at b/f's house BUT he was in the same city (until we went to uni) and we were together for several years.
As I've said this is dd's first boyfriend and she has always seemed to have a level head when it comes to the opposite sex. But she's made me feel awful and the phone call ended with a very frosty air on her part.
Sorry it's so long but felt I should give all the details in one go. So AIBU? And how would you have dealt with it?
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AIBU?
AIBU or is dd? WWYD?
32 replies
shhhgobacktosleep · 14/01/2013 19:40
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