Is it Unreasonable to bite your kids back?

(256 Posts)
AnneNonimous Mon 14-Jan-13 16:10:24

When they bite you? Or more to the point a baby?

DS is almost ten months and has discovered biting people. He has almost 5 teeth so it's painful, and he favours the boobs or face but will pretty much go for anywhere. It REALLY does hurt. A couple of times it's hurt so much I've screamed out and scared him so he's cried, but it hasn't stopped him. I've also given him teething rings or something else to chew on, told him 'no' in a firm voice everytime but to no avail - he won't stop.

Anyone I mention it to tell me to bite him back - not hard but so he understands what biting is. I can't quite bring myself to do it but I have to admit I've been close when he's really hurt me! Is it what you would do/ have done? I can't quite believe a 10 month old could learn a lesson that way I just don't know?

usualsuspect Mon 14-Jan-13 16:11:55

No, you shouldn't bite a 10 month old baby back.

I wouldn't bite a 10 month old baby in any circumstances.

And I've never understood how copying the behaviour you don't like is supposed to reach them not to do it.

PriscillaLydiaSellon Mon 14-Jan-13 16:14:15

You are being grossly misadvised. I can't believe anyone would seriously suggest that. Biting a child will merely teach them that it's okay to bite. I suggest you put him down as soon as he bites, say: 'we don't bite: it hurts', and give him no further attention. If you are firm, calm and consistent, he will get the message.

Seabird72 Mon 14-Jan-13 16:14:34

I know lots of people who have bitten their children back but I wouldn't do it myself! My dd3 had a problem with biting but only family members - then one day she bit a friend's child - he was actually a big biter himself and he would bite anyone - after she bit him he never bit another child again :-) and I was very lucky in that my dd didn't bite again (perhaps because I was so upset that she had bitten another child) I wouldn't advise you to bite back - you're likely to get a lot of abuse for suggesting it - even though it is quite common (as in happens alot) for some parents to do it.

whattodoo Mon 14-Jan-13 16:14:42

Absolutely not!
Like you, I can't believe a 10mo would 'learn the lesson'.

AnneNonimous Mon 14-Jan-13 16:14:42

I don't feel comfortable biting him - it feels like such an aggressive thing. Does anyone know what will make him stop?!

FarelyKnuts Mon 14-Jan-13 16:14:57

No. You don't bite a baby. What kind of shite friends would advise that???
On a practical note. Try your very hardest not to react. At 10 months old he won't understand you biting him.
Move him away from you if he bites. Say no in a very bored voice. Repeat.

McNewPants2013 Mon 14-Jan-13 16:15:07

unnessersary imo.

www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/teething-and-biting

he is biting as he is in pain, and normally for comfort most breastfeeding mum feed the baby. So he is using you as a comforter.

hope it passes soon

CaptainVonTrapp Mon 14-Jan-13 16:15:23

Yes it is always unreasonable to bite a baby (even if they started it hmm)

Just as it is unreasonable to hit a child for hitting...

Say no, firmly. Put him down. It's just a phase he'll stop soon.

snowybrrr Mon 14-Jan-13 16:15:46

I wouldn't bite anyone under any circumstances.

Insane idea. DD was a biter, I was told to do this, I chose not to. She doesn't now, at 2.

FreudianLisp Mon 14-Jan-13 16:16:54

No way. It's cruel. He won't understand that you're doing the same thing that he's doing. No ten-month-old has sufficient empathy to think "Ooh that hurts: perhaps I'd better refrain from doing it to others."

NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere Mon 14-Jan-13 16:17:03

There is no way that a 10mo old baby could exert as much pressure with teeth as an adult. Grow up. If I saw or heard of anyone doing this I would be horrified! Next time they bite you, say 'ow' really loudly at high pitch (babies do not like high voices) turn them away from you and place them on the floor and Ignore.

CloudsAndTrees Mon 14-Jan-13 16:17:05

Of course it's unreasonable to bite a 10 month old baby hmm

Who are these imbeciles that are telling you that abusing a baby is acceptable?

FuriousRox Mon 14-Jan-13 16:18:19

Yes it is totally unreasonable.

Don't know how to cure it though. My dd used to bite me when she was about six months. After a particularly hard bite I cried, and she never did it again, but that might have been a fluke.

AnneNonimous Mon 14-Jan-13 16:18:47

I don't think he's in pain he always bites when he gets excited, and I hope I haven't come across like I want to bite him! It seems to be really common advice, not just from friends or family but just general people I meet and discuss it with!

perceptionreality Mon 14-Jan-13 16:19:37

What?? hmm Do people really advise this?

There is no way anyone should ever bite their child back however old or young they are. A 10 month old couldn't possibly know that biting is wrong yet.

You are the adult - it's your job to set an example of good behaviour, not behave like a child yourself.

KumquatMae Mon 14-Jan-13 16:19:47

Biting a BABY?! Super advice there. My 12month old bites occasionally, with bloody sharp teeth! I try my hardest not to react by yelping with pain, I just say "no, that hurts" and move him away. When he gives me cuddles and kisses or gently strokes my face I give him lots of praise.

AnneNonimous Mon 14-Jan-13 16:20:11

nolittlebuddahs

There's no need to be so rude, why would I lie that it hurts? Because I really want to bite my child?

Moominsarehippos Mon 14-Jan-13 16:21:08

Two wrongs don't make a right. Hurting him will only confuse and upset him. he doesn't really know that biting hurts you but you do know that biting will hurt him.

I would just pop him down in his cot with a firm 'No' for a few minutes, so that he realises that if he bites, he will have to sit alone.

My MIL is desperate for me to bite DD2 as she did it with DBIL. I will never bite any of my children ever but find a non committal mmmmmh and head tilt usually get me out of the conversation without an argument. I find a loudish NO and being put down if she is on my knee seems 'punishment' enough.

perceptionreality Mon 14-Jan-13 16:22:44

I agree that putting the child down is the best thing to do.

AnneNonimous Mon 14-Jan-13 16:25:08

sneaky so other people do get this advice, I haven't entered some parallel universe where only I am told to do this!

I wouldn't bite him, I just wondered if people do because it seems such common advice. I'm wondering if its a generational thing.

Confusing post from me above, but perhaps I should try a firm NO with ny MIL too grin

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