DD 3 is now 13 months and still doesn't sleep through. She wakes twice and both times I give her a light feed and she goes back to sleep. To be honest it isn't such a big deal and I deal with it fast. But I AM tired. All the time. I also work and deal with the other 2 kids and although I have great help at home, the buck stops with me for anything to do with the kids, school, house or social side of our live. I realise I am just one of most women who do all this as well as work but sometimes I would like a hand at night... Or at least an hours lay in on the weekend (1 day allowed each) without paying the price later.
To complicate matters he is a type 1 diabetic and is often horribly moody as a result of his low blood sugar. Sometimes it is more than moody and he is frankly vile but claims he can't help it so it isn't his fault. Furthermore, he always seems to have a hypo whenever there is a stressful moment or I need a hand. He also has a bad back and is very stiff in the morning and he says this too makes him moody.
DD is unwell this weekend and I haven't slept more than an hour or 2 here and there for 48 hours .... He didn't get up once in the night or offer and then was annoyed when the big kids woke him at 8 after knowing I haven't slept for days. All weekend he has been out and about with the other kids leaving me house bound. I am fine because I like being home and Dd3 does really need me right now and is even when I'll a pleasure to hang with, but a little recognition rather than nastiness would be nice. I can't remember the last time he was genuinely thoughtful towards me. I am a good wife and run his house, life and everything seamlessly in addition to my own business and ask relatively little of him. Am I being a witch to give it back a little? He says I am.
AIBU?
To expect my husband to be remotely helpful during the nights?
SweetLikeChocolate · 13/01/2013 12:27
"... and although I have great help at home, the buck stops with me for anything to do with the kids, school, house or social side of our live."
When you say you have great help, what do you mean? Because the buck is stopping with you for EVERYTHING, so what help can you possibly be getting and from who? 
"To complicate matters he is a type 1 diabetic and is often horribly moody as a result of his low blood sugar. Sometimes it is more than moody and he is frankly vile but claims he can't help it so it isn't his fault. Furthermore, he always seems to have a hypo whenever there is a stressful moment or I need a hand. He also has a bad back and is very stiff in the morning and he says this too makes him moody."
As has already been pointed out, unless he is also vile at work, he can help it. And as an adult (he is an adult isn't he? Even thought he's not behaving as one), he has had decades of practice is managing his blood sugar, he obviously needs to put a bit more effort into that.
It sounds as if you are a very capable person and he has decided that you can do everything, so that he can just coast and do nothing. He needs to buck up his ideas sharpish. I would probably insist he go to the GP to have his diabetes reviewed and take some advice re managing his blood sugar levels. And maybe ask for a referral to physio for advice on dealing with his back. He needs to manage his conditions better, not just sit on his arse pretending to be a fucking invalid, demanding you run yourself ragged to make up for his deficiencies. 
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.