Regarding my exTwunts day out with PFB

(136 Posts)

DD is 17 weeks, tommorow i have allowed him to have DD alone for the first time.
(There is a hug backs tory but this i can assure you is rather generous) He is not competent with DD at all. I had agrreed to drive 1.5 hours to meet him, so he could take her to her GPs a further hour away.
He is NOT competent with DD at all, he will no tmake comtact arrangements and i am currently building up eveidence for legal arrangements to be make (that is a hwole other thread). He does not see or contact about DD on a regular basis, very hit and miss. So as you can see i am being very accomdating.
So here is where he think IAMBU, i do not think i am.
He has now changed the plans. He wants to take her from me, to her GP (1 hour) to his sister (40 mins) back to his parents (40 mins) back to me (1 hour).
ALL IN FOUR HOURS. Excluding the 1.5 hours each way i am doing.
I feel this is awful for my Dd's, development, relationship with her father, routine and not to mention how long she will be in a car seat.

I have explained this, but IAMBU. He wants to know if he can have her longer and drop her the whole way back to me, but this doesnt solve the issue besides i feel 4 hours is long enough for a first visit. Also, i have never every left her longer with anyone. Now im being pushed for him to have her overnight tonight by him.
I am not happy, would you be happy with this?
I have offered him ways around this eg inviting all the family down to my area. Or why cant his isster go to her parents? I have said he could have her here today.
I just to not want her in a car that long.
I Willa ccept a flaming if i IAMBU

DizzyZebra Mon 14-Jan-13 05:10:49

I'm pretty sure she shouldn't be spending the majority of 4 hours travelling in a car seat.

HappyNewHissy Mon 14-Jan-13 07:33:40

Well done! You got your KickAss Mummy badge today!
smile

Keep it up!

Thank you.
Feeling pretty worn out this morning hardly any sleep so the snow is a good excuse for a duvet day.
I'm just so confused about what happens or what I should do regarding exP now!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Mon 14-Jan-13 08:55:37

Tell him you have taken advice (don't tell him it was MN), and that due to his inability to properly care for an infant he will not be having unsupervised visits. (Supervision by you/your parents at your house). If his family want to see her (which they have no legal rights to do) then he can facilitate that by bringing them to you/your parents house.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Mon 14-Jan-13 09:15:55

If you said to the GP or a HV, they would tell you much the same we have done. Until he can learn to look after her, then he gets supervised only.

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 14-Jan-13 13:52:57

You do nothing you say nothing you instigate nothing.

If he contacts you to arrange contact you respond with the requirements, if he contacts you with abuse you inform him you will not tolerate abuse threats or hostility.

You make it clear if he contacts you that your response it entirely due to him changing agreed issues, his lack of consideration or dd and his abuse towards you.

Thank you smile
Having wobbles today as I am tired

DeepRedBetty Mon 14-Jan-13 14:11:27

Hi, disgusting day, I can't think of anything better to do than snuggle up with a nice warm cat and MN, and I strongly advise you to do the same, replacing cat with baby grin. Stick to your guns if Twunt gets in touch.

I wish I lived nearer you.

Oh we have baby and pooch, all watching Jeeves and Wooster grin

Having a wobble now. DD just rolled over and he's missing it all.
She's in her play gym and he hasn't even seen it or got a photograph.
I know it's his loss but feel rather empty confused

DPotter Tue 15-Jan-13 15:28:27

Make - that's great another baby milestone !
Please DO NOT feel guilty about the baby's father.
You concentrate on the enjoyment of a baby who is growing and developing. Don't be in anyway tempted to take photo and send it to him. take the photo yes for your album

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