to be pissed off with my brothers

(90 Posts)
McNewPants2013 Sat 12-Jan-13 00:52:09

every friday night i go to my mothers, sometime for a few bottles of wine or sometime for a few cup of tea. I live 5 minutes walk to my house.

however my brother's feel the need to walk me home. I don't need walking home. What do they think would happen grrrrrrr

AgentZigzag Sat 12-Jan-13 01:05:55

If they're not overbearing in other ways OP, YABU.

Is it your mum who makes them do it?

How old are they?

Bogeyface Sat 12-Jan-13 01:06:47

YABU

feellikearubbishmummy Sat 12-Jan-13 01:07:30

Wish my brother would walk me home. He has not spoken to me for 5 months after we fell out sad

McNewPants2013 Sat 12-Jan-13 01:07:49

one is older and one is younger.

not sure if if my mum makes them do it

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 12-Jan-13 01:08:10

Well ok, YABU.
Does that help smile?
You've clearly got lovely brothers and a close family unit, don't knock it, especially considering the threads on here with posters that have families that don't give a shit.

FlyingFig Sat 12-Jan-13 01:08:27

Not sure why you're 'pissed off' about them wanting to walk you home; seems like a kind gesture to me.

DSM Sat 12-Jan-13 01:09:00

Yep, YABU

AgentZigzag Sat 12-Jan-13 01:09:03

You sound like you're missing him feellike?

What do you think the chances of it blowing over are?

McNewPants2013 Sat 12-Jan-13 01:10:45

i guess i am pissed off with the fact i am a grown women that don't need walking home, how ever my brother's hearts are in the right place to make sur i am home safe ( i didn't see that before)

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo Sat 12-Jan-13 01:11:21

YABU

I think its sweet, they want to make sure their sister gets home safe and sound. Why be pissed off about that. They care about you.

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo Sat 12-Jan-13 01:11:21

YABU

I think its sweet, they want to make sure their sister gets home safe and sound. Why be pissed off about that. They care about you.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sat 12-Jan-13 01:20:41

Oh OP, it's lovely that they feel protective of you. I 'd love that.

FlyingFig Sat 12-Jan-13 01:22:11

My older brother was very protective over me and I bet my last penny he'd be the same as your brothers are. He's now very badly brain damaged, it's me and others looking after him, 24/7. I never thought the roles would reverse in such a cruel fashion, but there you go.

Honestly, don't take for granted or question the small stuff; it's no biggie is it, really? They sound lovely brothers smile

DoJo Sat 12-Jan-13 02:33:25

I don't think being a grown woman has anything to do with it - the chances are that you are safer walking home with them than alone. Don't think of them as not trusting you to get yourself home, but as not trusting those who might commit a random act of violence. Would it help to think of your children showing they care for each other in a similar way - it's rather sweet if you imagine them looking after one another even when they are older.

HappyNewHissy Sat 12-Jan-13 07:58:49

They had a talk with DH?

Do they fancy themselves as the Kray twins or something?

If they are over protective and interferring' YANBU.

We need more info.

do they both walk you home? Or just one of them?
YANBU OP, if you say "no I would prefer just to walk home myself" and they overrule you. You are a grown woman who gets to make her own decisions.

Hesterton Sat 12-Jan-13 08:06:54

I get you OP. It is a bit infantilising, even if it is well meant and gentlemanly.

I was always more worried about my sons being out on the town than my daughter; they were more likely to run in to shit macho shenanigans.

Whatdoiknowanyway Sat 12-Jan-13 08:11:21

I'm kind of with you on this one OP.

My dad used to insist that my brothers walked me to my babysitting job when I was a teenager. It was 3 doors up on a well lit main road.

It frustrated me because it was unnecessary and, the way it was done, I found it demeaning.

I think unless you have been in the position yourself its hard to appreciate the distinction with being protective and with asserting your place in the family pecking order.

RuleBritannia Sat 12-Jan-13 08:11:27

They are behaving like gentlemen. You are not behaving like a lady by not appreciating it. Don't you recognise manners?

Whatdoiknowanyway Sat 12-Jan-13 08:12:12

And what Hesterton said.

Manners also come into play when an adult asserts their wishes - you don't overrule them

BigShinyBaubles Sat 12-Jan-13 08:13:24

I think that's a lovely brotherly thing to do..I know for a fact my two big brothers would do the same (Im 37 married eiwh three ds..but I'll always be 'little sis'!!)
As another poster said, alot can happen in 5minutes so if I were you I think myself very lucky to have two caring protective brothers grin

I wouldn't look at it as they don't trust you to get yourself home safe. I would see it as, they know that there are some really shitty people out there and you're just too important to them to risk it.

Next time if it's winding you up, just remind yourself that you're "allowing" them to walk you home for their peace of mind. grin

no no no
statistically young men are the most vulnerale when out and about - so if they do it individually, who walks them home?
Lots of people talking about the huge risks to you - are these actually real or the product of media and over active imaginations?
Do you walk your brothers home when they come to yours? Would that be OK?
Can people not see the "this is how it's going to be" "No, overruled" aspect of this? I struggle with this - as a competent adult I should be able to make my own decisions without people imposing the way they think it should be on me becuase they love me so very very much

Iwillorderthefood Sat 12-Jan-13 08:27:54

I understand this, I was working in London during some May 1st riots, and all the men at work tried to get the women to travel in pairs and sometimes in different directions to their homes to ensure they were safe. They on the other hand travelled alone anyway they chose.

I felt like a child but I did heed their concern up to a point.

So long as there is no prolonged dithering about once I wanted to go home then this is fine. If I want to leave, then I want to leave, not wait an hour for someone to escort me the five minutes to my home.

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