To expect a thank you ...

(78 Posts)
Chickchickadee Fri 11-Jan-13 21:23:25

I lent somebody my car for two months as I wasn't using it. It is quite a nice car.

They returned it today with a bit of damage which does devalue it, but not significant enough to warrant an insurance claim, and didn't even say thank you. They just put in half a tank if fuel which us what was in it when they borrowed it (but not a drop more).

I didn't expect much, maybe a bottle of wine, but at least the words thank you.

I feel like sending a snotty text.

AIBU?

Chickchickadee Sat 12-Jan-13 00:09:04

I'm so mad I can't sleep! Ifso, I will have to think of something like you suggest ...

Dfg15 Sat 12-Jan-13 00:10:35

i'm sure the karma fairy will get him, but seriously - why would you lend your car to anyone - even if you weren't using it for a couple of months. If he's your boss surely he can afford his own car?

Chickchickadee Sat 12-Jan-13 00:22:28

In hindsight I don't know. I wasn't able to use it (I have a new car as I had a baby and this is a two seater convertible, but I can't really sell it until the spring, nobody wants them this time of year). He needed a car and offered to pay the tax for the two months he was going to use it for and I figured it would be better for the car to have a bit of use than stand on my driveway (as an old car I had was never the same after I left it standing for too long). Seemed like a decent thing to do and I always try and help people out when I'm in a position to ...

Dfg15 Sat 12-Jan-13 00:24:52

aww bless you, that was a good deed that went wrong on you. I hope you sort it with him x

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Sat 12-Jan-13 00:27:52

Wouldn't be surprised if there'll be at least one parking ticket or a speeding notification, sorry to pile on the agony. What an unpleasant man your boss is.

ifso Sat 12-Jan-13 00:30:39

boss probably having an affair elsewhere and needed the car to prove he wasnt in the place he said he would be?

sorry, it's late and I'm recreating scenes from BBC dramas again

oldebaglady Sat 12-Jan-13 00:31:32

the roof IS his responsibility
I've had a soft top in the past and been extra careful about where I parked it for that very reason
no he didn't do the slashing, but he left it somewhere where it happened!

If I borrowed your handbag and it got stolen, I'd be responsible for replacing it because I didn't watch it carefully enough. Even though I didn't personally steal it!

SantasENormaSnob Sat 12-Jan-13 06:29:44

I would be livid.

And imo, it's completely unprofessional to borrow an employees car for 2 months. Almost like an abuse of power iyswim.

RuleBritannia Sat 12-Jan-13 07:27:42

Don't lend him anything again! There's always a reason not to.

Chickchickadee Sat 12-Jan-13 08:02:24

I definitely won't lend him anything again, not even a biro. He has also used up all my goodwill for ever doing a second of overtime or going beyond the call of duty.

MrsMelons Sat 12-Jan-13 09:38:18

I have learnt my lesson many a time lending people things but thank goodness never something as valuable as a car (other than close family).

This makes me so cross on your behalf as it was such a kind thing to do.

If the damage is too little to bother with an insurance claim then presumably it is less than £200 so really there is no reason he shouldn't pay for it!

does your boss have a boss or is he the owner?

Chickchickadee Sat 12-Jan-13 10:16:16

A new hood is £400 but the excess on my insurance is £300 and I don't have protected no claims ...

He is the owner. It is the lack of thanks as much as the damage which upsets me.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Sat 12-Jan-13 10:21:22

Noooo that's bad!! He should have insured it himself and claimed for a new roof. Your right it will devalue it, as will the miles he put on it. I can't believe he didn't do anything to say thankyou.

pictish Sat 12-Jan-13 10:26:20

Well...you'll know not to be so generous again won't you?

I wouldn't lend anyone a car for two months.

The fact that he didn't even say thank you just compounds why. You thought it would be a nice thing to do (and maybe even earn you some brownie points)...but he just thought so what, and damamged your property without even so much as a glance backwards.

People eh?

Jesus. Flabbergasted.

lechatnoir Sat 12-Jan-13 10:36:08

What a dick shock. He sounds the type that hasn't even given you kindness a second thought & is unlikely to equate your future lack of help with his knobbish behaviour.
I'd just ask innocently "i obviously need to get the damage repaired before I sell it in the spring & wondered whether you want me to handle it & just send you the bill or shall I leave you to have a ring around & get it sorted"
Honestly I really couldn't just leave it hmm

WhatchuTalkinBoutPhyllis Sat 12-Jan-13 10:36:22

YANBU

Some people just have zero manners and don't understand the importance of a simple 'thank you'

I gave my cuz some clothes for her newborn. About 2 full back bags worth, easily enough for the next six month and not once did she say thank you. I wanted to snatch back my bags and give them to a charity shop. ungrateful cow.

Also had someone live in my house for 3 weeks, free board and meals. Again, no thank you. Cunt

jeez - nearly makes it worse

is he a good boss in other ways ie he pays well smile

kerala Sat 12-Jan-13 11:24:48

Our car has been breaking down had to borrow friend 1's car for a night we put in petrol and gave a bottle of wine. Broke down again borrowed friend 2's car gave them a pack of beer (he doesnt drink wine) <looks lovingly out at new reliable car>

Outrageously crap behaviour OP! (him not you)

comingintomyown Sat 12-Jan-13 11:31:00

YANBU , quite astonishing behaviour.

You will just have to chalk it up to experience

YesIamYourSisterInLaw Sat 12-Jan-13 11:42:37

I'm gobsmacked by this, what an utter cunt

IloveJudgeJudy Sat 12-Jan-13 11:46:23

I was reading this last night and I am absolutely flabbergasted on your behalf. I have lent someone my car for a long time during the week when I wasn't working and it was standing on my drive. She had just started a new job. I didn't mind and she was very grateful.

He's your boss and could probably easily afford to replace the hood. I can't believe he could possibly think his behaviour is acceptable! That's why he's the boss and you're not, probably. I think many people who own their own businesses (not everyone, obviously) have to be pretty callous in order to be successful.

I like the way that lechatnoir has worded things. It's not offensive and may be worth another try?

I really do sympathise with you. Unfortunately, it probably makes you never want to lend anyone anything ever again, so he's mucked things up for everyone.

Bearandcub Sat 12-Jan-13 11:47:14

Appalling behaviour.

twoyearsandcounting Sat 12-Jan-13 11:57:41

The car was his responsibility so yes he should pay but unfortunately people like him, from what you have described, have no moral conscience and he Will never pay. Just learn from it and never lend to anyone anything you can't afford to lose, or in this case spend money on repairs. I too would be annoyed at the lack of thanks.

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