to not know how to react to this comment about abortion?

(30 Posts)
PollyBeeGirl Fri 11-Jan-13 15:42:33

My daughter is looking into being an Au Pair in the USA so we've been doing research together and looking at reviews of different companies.

When I read this review about an au pair who came to live with a family who had an abortion a year before.

The mum left this comment -

"I am all for women's rights but a young woman who doesn't care enough about the life of a baby is not going to take good enough care of my children (in my opinion)"

It initially made me quite sad and angry to know that people have this view, but then later I thought perhaps they were a family with strong religious beliefs etc so perhaps she was entitled to have that view?

I'm really torn.

Crinkle77 Fri 11-Jan-13 15:44:22

I would not wasnt to go and work for someone who had views like that

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 11-Jan-13 15:45:37

Quite startled at thought of this very private event being alluded to in an Au Pair review, sorry know that's not what you were asking about.

CailinDana Fri 11-Jan-13 15:46:08

Torn between what and what? Allowing other people to have opinions and expecting them to just agree with you? I don't get what your problem is. The mum expressed an opinion that you don't agree with. It happens.

maddening Fri 11-Jan-13 15:47:04

She can hold whatever views she likes but she was out of order to announce on the Internet and as part of her review such deeply private matters.

LoopsInHoops Fri 11-Jan-13 15:48:13

How the fuck did they know she's had an abortion?

SirBoobAlot Fri 11-Jan-13 15:48:17

Anyone who starts a statement with "I am all for women's rights but..." is for 'for' women's rights at all.

LadyBeagleEyes Fri 11-Jan-13 15:49:03

The mother had no right to bring up private information about this au pair's past.
It had nothing to do with her capabilities for the job.

LoopsInHoops Fri 11-Jan-13 15:49:03

And, I hope you reported that comment?

maddening Fri 11-Jan-13 15:49:58

Eg she could go on a forum or have her on blog and spout whatever shit she likes but she was vu to express this view in an au pair's review and giving out au pair"s confidential information.

Blistory Fri 11-Jan-13 15:52:54

She's entitled to her view but she's not entitled to express it in a way that could damage a young woman's career.

Lyrasilvertongued Fri 11-Jan-13 15:53:10

She had no right to mention that in regard to a review or reference regarding the au pair's conduct at work - it has absolutely nothing to do with her relationship with the children or her ability to take responsibility for their care. I agree with Loops that you should report the comment - I can't believe the woman thinks it's appropriate to have left that on a review page.

WilsonFrickett Fri 11-Jan-13 15:53:22

Surely that is against data protection or something, that poor young woman to have her private history all over the internet with everyone who is looking for an au pair being able to read it. That's disgusting. I would suggest your DD does not register with that agency as obviously protecting their au pair's interests and privacy is not top of their agenda.

And what SirBoob said. Natch.

Tee2072 Fri 11-Jan-13 16:06:28

How does the woman know and does the au pair know there's a comment like that on her profile?!?!

pingu2209 Fri 11-Jan-13 16:11:40

I have a handful of friends who were au pairs in america about 18 years ago. The families they stayed with expected my friends to be more like a nanny rather than au pair. They did a lot more hours than they were supposed to and the families really took the piss by expecting them to look after their friend's children a lot too. One friend looked after 8 children after school every day for over 4 hours - only 3 were from the family she was supposed to be looking after.

My friends were across the US but it was the same expectation. They want an English Nanny for the cost of an au pair.

CloudsAndTrees Fri 11-Jan-13 16:22:22

When it comes you choosing someone to look after your children, you are entitled to think anything you like about what sort of person would be suitable. And you don't have to be religious to make that valid.

Although I disagree with it she is entitled to her opinion. I have opinions about what I look for in childcare for my children, some people may agree, some may not.

She shouldn't, however, be broadcasting it all over the internet.

ZooAnimals Fri 11-Jan-13 16:31:44

She's entitled to her opinion.

It's a horrible opinion and an inaccurate and I wouldn't want to work for her or send my daughter to work for her.

It really shouldn't have been included in a review if the au pairs work and the fact that this person thought it relevant and appropriate to metion makes me think she my might be a massive twat, IMO of course.

Leverette Fri 11-Jan-13 16:48:47

Redneck twat.

Many, many women have abortions because they DO care about what kind of life they can give a baby.

Does your DD really want to go to the US? Would she be interested in somewhere more enlightened?

Tee2072 Fri 11-Jan-13 17:00:58

Don't blame the whole country for one twat, Leverette. FFS

And you don't know if she's a redneck or not. I know some pro-life women who live on Park Avenue in NY.

Yeah, no-one in the enlightened UK has views like that do they Leverette hmm

OP she is entitled to have her view. However I find it abhorrent that she would plaster such a private thing all over the internet for anyone to see. I hope you reported the review?

chandellina Fri 11-Jan-13 17:07:50

Seems very inappropriate to write that in a public forum.

Tee2072 Fri 11-Jan-13 17:08:29

So true, Joyful.

It's not like abortion is illegal in Northern Ireland or anything.

Oh...wait...

HoHoHoNoYouDont Fri 11-Jan-13 17:09:58

She's entitled to hold an opinion on it but was totally out of order putting another person's extremely private business on the Internet. I'd be fucking livid if she'd written that about me.

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