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AIBU?

to not know how to react to this comment about abortion?

29 replies

PollyBeeGirl · 11/01/2013 15:42

My daughter is looking into being an Au Pair in the USA so we've been doing research together and looking at reviews of different companies.

When I read this review about an au pair who came to live with a family who had an abortion a year before.

The mum left this comment -

"I am all for women's rights but a young woman who doesn't care enough about the life of a baby is not going to take good enough care of my children (in my opinion)"

It initially made me quite sad and angry to know that people have this view, but then later I thought perhaps they were a family with strong religious beliefs etc so perhaps she was entitled to have that view?

I'm really torn.

OP posts:
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Crinkle77 · 11/01/2013 15:44

I would not wasnt to go and work for someone who had views like that

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DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 11/01/2013 15:45

Quite startled at thought of this very private event being alluded to in an Au Pair review, sorry know that's not what you were asking about.

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CailinDana · 11/01/2013 15:46

Torn between what and what? Allowing other people to have opinions and expecting them to just agree with you? I don't get what your problem is. The mum expressed an opinion that you don't agree with. It happens.

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maddening · 11/01/2013 15:47

She can hold whatever views she likes but she was out of order to announce on the Internet and as part of her review such deeply private matters.

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LoopsInHoops · 11/01/2013 15:48

How the fuck did they know she's had an abortion?

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SirBoobAlot · 11/01/2013 15:48

Anyone who starts a statement with "I am all for women's rights but..." is for 'for' women's rights at all.

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LoopsInHoops · 11/01/2013 15:49

And, I hope you reported that comment?

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LadyBeagleEyes · 11/01/2013 15:49

The mother had no right to bring up private information about this au pair's past.
It had nothing to do with her capabilities for the job.

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maddening · 11/01/2013 15:49

Eg she could go on a forum or have her on blog and spout whatever shit she likes but she was vu to express this view in an au pair's review and giving out au pair"s confidential information.

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Blistory · 11/01/2013 15:52

She's entitled to her view but she's not entitled to express it in a way that could damage a young woman's career.

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Lyrasilvertongued · 11/01/2013 15:53

She had no right to mention that in regard to a review or reference regarding the au pair's conduct at work - it has absolutely nothing to do with her relationship with the children or her ability to take responsibility for their care. I agree with Loops that you should report the comment - I can't believe the woman thinks it's appropriate to have left that on a review page.

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WilsonFrickett · 11/01/2013 15:53

Surely that is against data protection or something, that poor young woman to have her private history all over the internet with everyone who is looking for an au pair being able to read it. That's disgusting. I would suggest your DD does not register with that agency as obviously protecting their au pair's interests and privacy is not top of their agenda.

And what SirBoob said. Natch.

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Tee2072 · 11/01/2013 16:06

How does the woman know and does the au pair know there's a comment like that on her profile?!?!

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pingu2209 · 11/01/2013 16:11

I have a handful of friends who were au pairs in america about 18 years ago. The families they stayed with expected my friends to be more like a nanny rather than au pair. They did a lot more hours than they were supposed to and the families really took the piss by expecting them to look after their friend's children a lot too. One friend looked after 8 children after school every day for over 4 hours - only 3 were from the family she was supposed to be looking after.

My friends were across the US but it was the same expectation. They want an English Nanny for the cost of an au pair.

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CloudsAndTrees · 11/01/2013 16:22

When it comes you choosing someone to look after your children, you are entitled to think anything you like about what sort of person would be suitable. And you don't have to be religious to make that valid.

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MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 11/01/2013 16:31

Although I disagree with it she is entitled to her opinion. I have opinions about what I look for in childcare for my children, some people may agree, some may not.

She shouldn't, however, be broadcasting it all over the internet.

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ZooAnimals · 11/01/2013 16:31

She's entitled to her opinion.

It's a horrible opinion and an inaccurate and I wouldn't want to work for her or send my daughter to work for her.

It really shouldn't have been included in a review if the au pairs work and the fact that this person thought it relevant and appropriate to metion makes me think she my might be a massive twat, IMO of course.

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Leverette · 11/01/2013 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tee2072 · 11/01/2013 17:00

Don't blame the whole country for one twat, Leverette. FFS

And you don't know if she's a redneck or not. I know some pro-life women who live on Park Avenue in NY.

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PeggyCarter · 11/01/2013 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeggyCarter · 11/01/2013 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chandellina · 11/01/2013 17:07

Seems very inappropriate to write that in a public forum.

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Tee2072 · 11/01/2013 17:08

So true, Joyful.

It's not like abortion is illegal in Northern Ireland or anything.

Oh...wait...

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HoHoHoNoYouDont · 11/01/2013 17:09

She's entitled to hold an opinion on it but was totally out of order putting another person's extremely private business on the Internet. I'd be fucking livid if she'd written that about me.

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HoHoHoNoYouDont · 11/01/2013 17:11

I could work for someone with those opinions but I couldn't work for someone who couldn't be trusted to mind her own business!

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