... to expect my 9yo twins (boys) not to stick their fingers up each other bums?

(67 Posts)
uptight Fri 11-Jan-13 14:49:36

I mean, really. What's that all about? Is a recent trend and makes me lose it completely. Through clothes I hasten to add and seems an extension of the wedgie, another popular wind up which succeeds in winding me up much more than each other. I've had the serious chats, begged, whined, screamed, pleaded, cajoled all to no avail. Should I just get over myself and ignore or frogmarch them down to the nearest police station?

uptight Fri 11-Jan-13 15:51:21

"very well, Hannah" is what i meant

Thingiebob Fri 11-Jan-13 15:55:42

I agree Hannah put it very well. There is often an element of hysteria on MN about 'private parts' to the point where it becomes OTT and adults projecting issues and fears onto young kids.

I was accused of being 'abusive and inappropriate' ion here towards my 2 year old when I said DH and me often get changed in front of her, so she sees us in our full naked glory.

valiumredhead Fri 11-Jan-13 15:59:33

It's those sorts of threads that I find a real eye opener thingie - I mean do people really not change in front of their kids or wander around half dressed? confused

TepidCoffee Fri 11-Jan-13 15:59:51

Please tell me kancho's not coming to the UK?

Bane of my life working in a primary school in Japan. My Japanese DH sees it as a bit of harmless fun hmm and I have told him in no uncertain terms what will happen if he ever reached it to our DC!

Kancho means 'enema' in Japanese, btw. It started off with a couple of comedians but spread like wildfire, because it's exactly the type of thing small children find hilariously funny.

stargirl1701 Fri 11-Jan-13 16:02:21

Do they play rugby?

Quite common in those circles methinks. A professional rugby player in Australia was disciplined for doing it in the scrum on the pitch during a game.

Allonsy Fri 11-Jan-13 16:05:15

Op i remember boys at school doing this 15 years ago, boys are strange and have an unusual obsession with bums, my nearly 7 year old is always trying to show his off! i would ignore it im sure it will pass soon.

I just literally lol at the pp whos dc done the full moon, hillarious but i imagine mortifying lol

Proudnscary Fri 11-Jan-13 16:05:27

My two are 11 and 8 and still always looking or poking or hitting or goosing each other's bums!

They are disgusting little creatures, but it's all normal!

BrittaPerry Fri 11-Jan-13 16:05:46

I used to know a group of catering students, who used to do this to each other when working in kitchens. It seemed to be along the same lines as wedgies, heating up knife handles, pulling trousers down, locking each other in the freezer, groping waitresses and all the other 'hilarious' things they got up to.

SashaSashays Fri 11-Jan-13 16:06:56

Bloody hell of course its not sexual assault. Hadn't even noticed that had been implied. How ridiculous.

They are boys, they are the same age and will egg each other on to the point of being incorrigible at times. They will be disgusting, but its certainly not sexual in the way adults see it. Also they will grow out of it, in a couple of years you will be able to remind them of it to their absolute horror.

I just think of it as, like anything they are doing that you don't want them to do, make them stop it. I certainly don't think this is a debate about your Ds's sexually assaulting other or behaving inappropriately, I assumed its something you don't like them doing so stop them from doing it.

Thingiebob Fri 11-Jan-13 16:07:26

Valium clearly not. Those that do are abusive and setting their children up for a lifetime of therapy.

What makes it even worse in my case is that I'm fat. Double the trauma. grin

littlewhitebag Fri 11-Jan-13 16:40:44

Actually i missed the bit about it being over clothes - sorry! No CP issues with that thankfully. Still not a great thing for them to be doing though but kids will be kids!

DamnBamboo Fri 11-Jan-13 16:48:44

Who on earth said this was sexual assault?

littlewhitebag Fri 11-Jan-13 17:01:34

Oh dear. I think this is my fault. I really should read posts properly before responding.

I thought the boys were putting their fingers up each others bare bums and i was worried they might do it to someone else and it could be construed as sexual assault.

However on reading it i see it was on top of clothes and there is no way this would be seen as sexual assault.

Again i offer my apologies.

WaynettaSlobsLover Fri 11-Jan-13 20:36:09

Littlewhitebag. All due respect to you in your job. My parents close friends are both child protection social workers and some of the things they have told me have haunted me. sad I decided against going into it as a career for those reasons.

wrigglerstea Fri 11-Jan-13 21:34:58

Totally and utterly ignore it! The first few times they did it to try and annoy each other. Now they are doing it because it is a fantastic and irresistible manner of winding up Mum.

If you can bear it do the same with all the fighting. When they have actually hurt one another a few times (I don't mean by poking one another in the bum, I mean by fighting in general) and have got very little sympathy and a bored sounding "well you were fighting, what did you expect?" and blasé dealing with minor injuries they will learn to stop when they need to themselves. If one of them actually does some damage (eg broken arm, which I have heard mentioned several times at weddings where they groom was the best man's brother, so isn't that unusual) then they will both be horrified and, as a I said, those siblings who have hurt one another properly roughousing seem to be disproportionally represented in those who end up so close they "best man" for one another.mi bet their Mum's nearly died from the distress of it all though!

wrigglerstea Fri 11-Jan-13 21:35:31

Semi-tongue-in-cheek posting by the way. True though.

CheerfulYank Fri 11-Jan-13 21:41:31

Ugh. DS (5) has recently become obsessed with showing his bum to us. He dances around hollering "if you wanna rock n' roll, you need a buttcheek and a peewinker!" 'Peewinker' being his new term for penis. hmm

Fakebook Fri 11-Jan-13 21:49:44

Me and my sister used to pinch each others bums really hard whilst out shopping with our mum. It all had to be done really discreetly or mum would get angry. The best time to do it, was when a stranger was standing behind the pinchee. We used to laugh until we cried.

They'll grow out of it OP. bums are funny to children.

PrincessMononoke Fri 11-Jan-13 21:50:32

grin I have twins boys and have all this to come.
My friends are also twin boys they used to do all sorts of things like that to each other, mostly sticking things up each others bums.

SpottyBagOfTumble Fri 11-Jan-13 21:50:45

This thread has made me giggle. And reassured me that my boys are normal!

uptight Mon 14-Jan-13 11:38:07

Feel have finally "arrived" on MN having started a two page thread! have enjoyed all your comments and advice thank you.

Fakebook you reminded me that our mum used to pinch the 3 of us surreptitiously at mass when we were kids to get us to behave!

StinkyWicket Mon 14-Jan-13 12:07:46

Oh shit.

My twins are 4 on Thursday is this what I have to look forward to?!

Also, I totally agree about the fighting and there never being a natural end point as they are the same size!

lovelyladuree Mon 14-Jan-13 12:19:32

I do believe some children are actually dragged up.

CaroleService Mon 14-Jan-13 12:20:47

Once caught my niece and ds doing 'bottom writing'. This involved each inserting a pencil into the appropriate, er, aperture, and trying to write their name on a piece of paper on the floor.

Ew.

Just because they do it to one another in a scrap does not mean they will do it to others, some of what you have said to them about appropriate behaviour will have gone in.

They are now doing it to get a rise out of you, I would ignore for a while, see if the phase passes.

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