To think being in hospital with a baby on chemo isn't a 'break'?

(78 Posts)

I'm in hospital with my baby who has cancer and is having chemotherapy.

The nurse we saw earlier asked if I had older children. When I said yes, she replied, 'Oh, so being in here is a bit of a break for you then.'

I replied, 'Er, no, it's not really a break having a baby on chemo and I also miss my older ones.'

!!!!!

(I'm sure she was just trying to make conversation and am not really annoyed but just had to share... But please be nice to me... You understand why.)

Not even remotely like a break.

She probably just had verbal diarhoea but I would have been hmm

I hope baby is responding well to treatment and that you're getting some rest

JaneFonda Fri 11-Jan-13 00:09:28

Oh bless you, poor you and baby. sad

I'm not even going to answer if you're being unreasonable or not, you can be as unreasonable as you please when you're in such a horrid situation!

I'm sure she was trying to make polite conversation, but probably felt very embarrassed after she realised what she'd said, a bit of a foot in mouth moment!

Hope all is going well.

Lyrasilvertongued Fri 11-Jan-13 00:10:39

how awful, YANBU. Sending lots of well wishes your way and I hope the treatment goes well.

Autumnalis Fri 11-Jan-13 00:11:06

What a stupid choice of words, whatever ward your DD is on, let alone for chemo.

I hope your DD is coping ok with the chemo and that you have some support too.

canyou Fri 11-Jan-13 00:11:29

Your poor Baby I hope everything runs smoothly and you are both soon home to the madness of family life
I totally understand your point of view, no it is not a break it is the stress of worry about the baby and worry about those left at home,
And yes she was just trying to make conversation and be nice but don't worry she will not have been upset or offended by your reply, we as a society have lost the idea that some times we need to be honest about how we feel.

5madthings Fri 11-Jan-13 00:12:29

What a tactless crap thing for her to say!!

No you are most definitely nbu!

TraineeBabyCatcher Fri 11-Jan-13 00:13:13

Not unreasonable at all. She's is likely cursing herself for saying it but no, it is definitely not a break.

Hope your baby gets better and the chemo works for you.

Cabrinha Fri 11-Jan-13 00:14:59

I agree the nurse was probably just being daft - hope she's mortified reflecting on your answer - and thinks twice next time! I'm glad you replied as you did - better than stewing, and of course you were right. Don't think twice about it now!

I hope that treatment goes well for your baby (Beatrice? Kisses to baby Beatrice xxx)

Unacceptable Fri 11-Jan-13 00:15:09

shock What a very odd thing for her to say!
Hopefully her bedside manner isn't always that tactless

i bet as soon as the words were out her mouth she was kicking herself- & no, your reaction wasn't unreasonable, i'm not so sure i could have stayed so calm myself!

i hope your baby responds well to the treatment & is well again & home with you & your family soon xx

SageYourResoluteOracle Fri 11-Jan-13 00:17:59

Oh FGS! YANBU.

Talk about not engaging brain before opening gob.

When I was pregnant the 20 week scan showed DD was measuring very small for dates so we were rushed up to the fetal medicine unit to be told it was a waiting game and that things didn't look good. The (female) consultant on hearing everything else that had been going on for us including that DD was IVF patted my knee patronisingly then suggested I go home and have a gin and tonic. Silly bint! (DD was very small at birth but okay, very fortunately)

Sending all positive thoughts your way for you and you little one.

PaellaUmbrella Fri 11-Jan-13 00:18:03

Of course YANBU. Sounds like a very ill thought out thing for the nurse to have said.

Hope the treatment goes well and you're all home for good soon.

Smellslikecatspee Fri 11-Jan-13 00:20:18

Verbal diarrhoea, I once asked an amputee to 'just hop out of bed' while I changed the sheets blush
If s/he has been kind considerate otherwise pass it off as a brain fart.

I known when I said my hop out, I died inside for weeks, even though the patient and her husband thought it was hysterical.

Chances are s/he is still banging thier head against a wall chanting idiot idiot idiot idiot.…

ll31 Fri 11-Jan-13 00:23:22

yeah, hope your baby 's doing well, just a silly thing to say, good luck

Thanks all for the messages and well wishes. Weirdly enough she didn't blush or look embarrassed or show any sign of realising what a daft thing it was to say... She seems perfectly nice otherwise but obviously busy and quite young (I've clearly got to that age...)

Smellslikecatspee Fri 11-Jan-13 00:24:12

Oh and hope all goes well.

If its ok may I light a candle for you LO on Sunday?

carpetsw33per Fri 11-Jan-13 00:24:50

Yanbu

About fifteen years ago I asked a tetraplegic woman in a wheelchair to "Run across to the shop" for me.

I still hate myself...

Smellslikecatspee Fri 11-Jan-13 00:26:27

Chances are she froze once she realised what she said, I know I went grey.

carpetsw33per Fri 11-Jan-13 00:28:29

I hope things improve for you. You must be exhausted. X

Thanks smells, that would be wonderful. I'm well into that as my nickname suggests.

And yes, she's called Beatrice :-)

SageYourResoluteOracle Fri 11-Jan-13 00:57:18

In that case, I'm praying for little Beatrice x

SageYourResoluteOracle Fri 11-Jan-13 00:58:05

(Stoopid- didn't twig with NN! blush)

LoopsInHoops Fri 11-Jan-13 01:07:59

Silly woman.

Still keeping my fingers and toes crossed for Beatrice. smile

When I was in hospital with prem DTD2 after DTD1 had been still born, one of the NICU nurses said
"so have you got any other children then?"
I started to cry, so she continued with "oh no,
I didn't mean that one, any live children?"

Even the most professional people in caring roles get foot in mouth. sad

splashymcsplash Fri 11-Jan-13 01:09:16

Bad choice of words, but I'm sure she was just talking before thinking.

Don't take it personally. Sorry to hear you are having a hard time.

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