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to find naked people in changing room unnecessary?

(264 Posts)
CharlLaneoxo Thu 10-Jan-13 21:14:57

Such as at the gym and the swimming pool etc.

I'm not talking about women who are comfortable with themselves and can get changed in front of strangers no problem.

I'm referring to the ones who will take leisurely showers, walk around, spend ages getting ready, drying their hair and stand chatting to their friends completely naked.

I know we're all women etc but I just find it unnecessary.

Or maybe I am a prude smile

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 16-Jan-13 16:40:52

That looks like my sisters tum after twins asheep. She is still gorge though.
I know it is very upsetting when something changes to that extent but as women we are always mentally chopping our bodies up, saying things like"I like my legs, if I could only change my arms and my bum I would be OK."
We even grab handfuls of flesh and move it around, saying "If only "this" wasn't here" BUT in truth people don't really isolate bits when they look at other people.
You see other people as a whole, a person with a body that has survived things like birth and operations, ageing etc.
We have to try and look at ourselves as whole people, not body parts, just like we do other people.

KristinaM Tue 15-Jan-13 21:50:40

As sheep, lots of women at our local gym have tummies like that and mine isn't much better. I think it's pretty normal to look like this aftre several pregnancies and sections . I'm size 8 and pretty fit, but that bit hasn't gone away with weight loss and exercise. I just accept that my days as a bikini model are gone. I don't look too closely in the mirror and my DP doesn't wear his specs in bed so he can't see either.

, we could afford plastic surgery but I woulndt take the risk of soemthing going wrong, when I have young children. Lots of people live full and happy lives with major disabilities. I've decided I can live with a slightly saggy tummy .

Please don't be offended, but , if this is upsetting you so much I think you need to go and talk to a counsellor about it. Your tummy is normal but your feelings about it are not. I'm wondering if you might be suffering from depression and that's why things are getting all out of proportion for you?

There is help out there, you don't need to go on feeling like this

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 21:39:00

I'm so sorry Spicy that you have gone through this.

SpicyPear Mon 14-Jan-13 20:01:48

asheep 'm sorry to feel that it makes you feel bad, but I also have friends with similar tums. I myself have a scar and a funny tum from a gynae op and often get asked if I'm pg when I never have been sad I know it's much harder said than done but I really am getting towards a place where I see it as a kind of marker of what I have been through rather than an imperfect body part. To begin with I couldn't even look at it though. One thing I can guarantee to you is that it does not look as bad as you see it in your head.

CarlingBlackMabel Mon 14-Jan-13 19:58:34

Well, that is a sound sense of priority smile

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 19:37:51

My GP referred me to a cosmetic surgeon who was willing to do an op but I was scared to have one for something not life threatening.

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 19:30:42

Ah now your kind and thoughtful replies are making me cry again!
I imagine people seeing me and recoiling (or thinking "that's awful" but being polite and saying nothing).

I know what you mean about those artists Carling but there's not too many folk around with an artist's aesthetics. sad

CarlingBlackMabel Mon 14-Jan-13 18:36:06

asheep - that's EXACTLY how many people's bodies are after all that pg and CS. My friend's tummy looks like that. smile

I'm sorry that you are so upset about it. I agree your middle doesn't conform to anything you see in a magazine, but there's many a M&S jumper covering a tum like that. And truly, to me, it is just a tum that has seen a bit of the world and earned it's keep.

But your feelings are your feelings, I'm not saying you are wrong to feel as you do. Have you talked to your GP about your feelings about it? On Embarrassing Bodies they are always doing procedures to remove extra skin on previously over-stretched bellies.

Think of the portraists artists choose to paint when they can chhhose the model - still life rather than commissioned portraits. Artists much prefer bodies that display signs of a person's history than 'blank canvas' beauty. Look at Bacon and Freud's fabulous nudes. They^ love^ that flesh with their brush and light.

Take care of yourself and stand proud!

PretzelTime Mon 14-Jan-13 18:28:38

I'm sorry you feel so bad asheep, I know a woman who also have a stomach like that. She also felt really down about it but all I see is simply a woman who have had children!

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 18:12:50

Thanks too, Morloth. I know I should think that, but just can't. For a normal tummy, yes but mine is grotesque. I'll bet you haven't seen one like mine as I can't imagine anyone exposing it to others.
I am weeping as I type this.

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 18:03:08

Thanks for saying that Carling but you'd find that difficult. It is horrible though, looks like this
http://www.caesarean.org.uk/pictures/small35.jpg
No amount of dieting or exercise will help, skin and muscle too damaged (confirmed by medic). It makes me feel sick sad

higgle Mon 14-Jan-13 15:02:34

I didn't find the compulsory naked shower thing upsetting just a bit taken aback as I wasn't expecting it. At least in the nordic swimming pools you know exactly wht you are required to do and you see quite quickly everyone complies, then it is not anxiety inducing. It is when I see groups of "flaunters" and the "cover it all up at any cost" brigade in the same changing room that I get a bit worried as I have to decide which camp I'm in and ( because I just can't flaunt) what exactly I have to do to show I'm not totally neurotic and ashamed of my body either. DH was mightily embarassed a few years ago when we got a new cleaner at home. She also worked at the local swimming pool in the men's changing room, where she had seen rather a lot of him!

ILikeBirds Mon 14-Jan-13 14:21:35

Add Denmark to the compulsory naked shower list for those bothered about that sort of thing

Hobbitation Mon 14-Jan-13 13:50:40

She said to me the other day 'when you look at yourself with a mirror' I thought 'Umm what do you mean when ?

I know what you mean. I have only ever looked at myself down there with a mirror twice. Once as a teenager in an "Am I normal?" moment after reading a magazine article, and once two weeks after having DD1 when the midwife had removed the stitches and said "It all looks lovely again now". Last one took a bit of courage, but it was indeed all ok.

CarlingBlackMabel Mon 14-Jan-13 11:11:07

ASheepAtTheWheel - I can promise you that if I saw you naked in a changing room I would mostly take not much notice, but if I did I would not think your body ugly or not normal. Just a body that has been doing it's job. Which is normal. smile.

Morloth Sun 13-Jan-13 23:45:12

LOL, the only comment DS1 has ever made about my naked body is on the size of my arse.

He said 'Mummy, your bum is so BIG!'. He sounded so impressed though I took it as a compliment.

Otherwise though he has been around naked women quite a lot (not so much now he is older) and never gave anyone a second glance.

Raising the next generation of sensible men here who know that women come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, colours and hair levels.

asheep, your body is just fine - it made a baby! How awesome is that, you can make people. Over the years in many different countries I have seen all sorts of bodies, and they are all fine.

kickassangel Sun 13-Jan-13 23:20:13

asheep your body is normal

BumBiscuits Sun 13-Jan-13 23:06:43

arf at the eclipse floppy grin

floppybunnyears Sun 13-Jan-13 23:05:29

I hate the one leg on the bench thing.

I walked into the gym changing room once where one lady had her leg up and was toweling herself dry. It looked like she was doing a seductive dance.

It was like an eclipse BumBiscuits. You know you shouldn't look but you can't stop yourself.

BumBiscuits Sun 13-Jan-13 23:00:38

I dry then moisturise foot up on bench in the communal changing room. I probably do it more quickly than when at home. I can't be arsed bothered with trying to hide my bits with a towel.

I don't pay attention to what anyone else is doing. I thought, but reading this I'm probably wrong, that no-one was paying attention to me.

It's polite in changing rooms not to gawp at others using it, I like to think.

2rebecca Sun 13-Jan-13 22:28:14

I usually dry myself in communal changing rooms not the shower at my gym because the cubicle is small and contains lots of water vapour. I keep my towel outside (but do have a small swim towel I take in with me that gets rid of most of the dampness). It's faster to get dried away from the water vapour.
I don't think I put one foot on the bench when drying myself but haven't given it that much thought. I usually put underwear on quickly and am more casual about other clothes. I'll often dry my hair in underwear as otherwise my clothes get covered in hairs as I moult alot. I never pay much attention to what other people are doing.
I only blow dry my bush at home..a handy technique I started after childbirth when towelling down there was too sore.

asheepatthewheel Sun 13-Jan-13 22:13:11

My naked body is far too ugly to inflict on anyone. After two c-sections and a twin pregnancy I have a "pendulous abdomen" as my midwife charmingly called it.

Why would I subject people to that? I don't mind others being naked at all and if my body was normal I'd be ok with it.

seeker Sun 13-Jan-13 21:58:46

Which does rather beg the question- why are you watching?

Overcooked Sun 13-Jan-13 20:14:28

Also 'flossing' for prolonged periods with the towel, not needed.

Bubblegum78 Sun 13-Jan-13 20:06:29

I totally agree, all this prolonged preening in the buff does my head in!

Although I may not say that if I was standing in the men's changing room. *winks"

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