to think its ok for a child to not like something

(66 Posts)
mamamibbo Thu 10-Jan-13 21:00:28

i was telling my mum, what i thought was a funny story about ds2 (2 and a half ) having his first taste of a soft boiled egg and 'soldiers' for his dinner he dipped it, lcked it and pulled a face like it was a lemon and then said "no thankyou" so i made him a sandwich instead

my mum told me i shouldnt have given him anything else and he would have to eat it if he was hungry and i was too soft on him

is she mean unreasonable or am i being soft?

LovesBeingAtHomeForChristmas Fri 11-Jan-13 05:30:30

I agree, for my dd I've always had the rule that as long as she tries everything on her plate it's ok to leave something if she doesn't like it. It very rarely happens. What does happen is sometimes things she has privously disliked is now yummy. I reinforce every time that trying something because you might like it now is important. Sometimes I have to really convince her to try it but it's great then when she likes it because it proves what I said. She loves fruit, veg, salad and her favourite dinner is scrambled egg and beans. She rarely eats all her chips if given but will ask for more carrots every time.

(just realized that sounds a bit well you know, she also loves squash and choc)

sleepywombat Fri 11-Jan-13 05:46:58

I was a ridiculously fussy eater as a child. I did have a fair amount of dinner ladies/my mum standing over me making me eat, but it hasn't scarred me too much - I eat anything & everything now (within reason, obviously - e.g. not too keen on kidneys)!

sleepywombat Fri 11-Jan-13 05:52:35

I think that my parents making me eat was more about wastage. My mum was pretty poor & wouldn't have been able to make me something else, a lot of the time, so it was that [disliked] food or nothing. I remember my dad getting soooo angry when I said I didn't like the porridge he made me as he didn't have any more milk or food.

Lavenderhoney Fri 11-Jan-13 05:55:44

Just remembered at primary school there was scrambled eggs made with water/ milk and all runny for lunch. A group of us kids( not sitting together) wouldn't eat it. We were kept back fom afternoon lessons and sat at a table together and told to eat up or we would be there til home time. Dinner ladies all stood in circle with teacher glaring at us. One girl, sobbing her heart out, started forcing it down. She bought the whole lot up in projectile vomit over the table and us.

Hysterical crying from all the kids, and we were all punished with no playtime rest of the week.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Fri 11-Jan-13 05:56:25

YANBU

He sounds lovely smile and your Mum sounds a bit mean. It was something new, he tried it, he didn't like it, he said so nicely... what's the problem?

sleepywombat Fri 11-Jan-13 05:59:49

Lavenderhoney, how horrible! School was so different 20-30 years ago, wasn't it? I remember being punished with no playtime for refusing to eat my compulsory weekly dosage of badly cooked liver & onions. Also 'no playtime' meant sitting in the hall, on my own, completely unsupervised aged 6!

googietheegg Fri 11-Jan-13 06:16:35

Lavenderhoney, that's awful. hmm And it's those crappy teachers we're paying generous pensions for (soapbox)

Lavenderhoney Fri 11-Jan-13 07:34:33

Sleepy wombat, did you go to my school? Surrey? We had that stuff too.

Op, rustle up something your mum won't like and when she turns up her nose and doesnt clear the plate, say well, you'll get it for tea thensmile

Sirzy Fri 11-Jan-13 07:59:09

If its something new (or I know he isn't keen on) I will do something else as long as he tries it. If he is just been awkward then I don't give anything else.

He is 3 and thankfully a pretty good eater most of the time

YANBU, he tried it ad didn't like it, fair enough imo. I don't understand people who force food on their children, I certainly don't eat anything I genuinely don't like the taste of.

DD is 4 and hates banana, has ever since weaning stage, she tried it again every six months or so because I think she likes the idea of banana's (she loves monkeys!) but actually hates the taste. I don't ever try to make her eat banana as that would be mean.

She has previously been a fussy eater and had a limited selection of foods she would eat, I am so happy as since turning 4 she seems to have turned a corner and recently ate (and liked!) mushroom, onion and parsnip, things she'd never have touched before grin

curiousuze Fri 11-Jan-13 09:44:17

What a polite little guy! YANBU

cory Fri 11-Jan-13 11:01:23

It is ok not to like something: it is not ok to refuse to try more than once, to express your dislike rudely (though I would make allowances for young children) or to expect people to provide alternatives. A 'no thank you' should be accepted (with some pride!) but without any obligation to provide something else. Relaxed is good at mealtimes imo. Saving yourself for the next meal does no harm.

sleepywombat Sat 12-Jan-13 04:48:35

Lavenderhoney, nope, mine in Bristol!

MrsMelons Sat 12-Jan-13 09:43:38

If he genuinely did not like it then she is BU. If his way of trying things he doesn't necessarily want to eat is licking them then saying no then YABU as he is playing you. If he is good at eating stuff then it really doesn't matter if he doesn't like eggs etc, my DCs are good eaters but there are lots of things they don't like, although I find their tastes change a lot over the years and they become used to things.

My niece decided she doesn't want to eat ANY fruit (after liking all of it), if SIL asks her to try it she literally places it in her mouth then makes herself gag. SIL thinks its ok as she has 'tried' it.

MrsMelons Sat 12-Jan-13 09:54:18

I do think that children may get away with being too picky these days though. It does seem they will only eat stuff they really really love.

DS1 tries it on with veg quite a bit in spite having loved it till he went to school but I just say that we can't always have just our favourite things all the time and that he loves the other stuff on his plate so he will usually eat it albeit reluctantly. I wouldn't 'force' it on him i he really really disliked it of course as that is just cruel.

I have learnt my lesson as when he was 2 he refused to eat his weetabix which was his favourite, I made him wait until lunch time to have anything else even though he was starving. That evening I gave him his milk which he also loved and he refused to drink it and kept making faces. I tasted it and it was off (a bottle opened that morning fresh and in date). I felt so awful!

digerd Sat 12-Jan-13 17:16:30

When young loved everything my DM cooked for us, but remember always being hungry and wanting more, which she didn't have. But I hated the school dinners we had at secondary school and couldn't eat the lumpy mashed spuds and custard, or the stew as made me wretch. Never chips in my day. Started at 12 to make my own meals at home and bake cakes.

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