To feel a bit jealous and like my achievements will never bring any reward

(36 Posts)
slappywappydoodah Wed 09-Jan-13 17:04:46

I'm 25 and everyone at home I went to school with seems to be buying a house. Facebook is full of posts about it, along with pictures of their car in the drive and their children holding iPads. I'm from the midlands, near one of the poorer cities in the area, though many of these people grew up with nuclear families and in villages/on farms. Given that so many of them either don't work, or have normal (e.g. normal office, child minding, admin, shop etc) jobs, I just don't understand how they can afford the deposit, let alone the mortgage!

I went to uni and worked all through it, financing my post graduate training with a massive loan. Me and DS (6) live alone in London where I work in a pretty decent profession at very decent money (we're talking probably more than double what people at home earn). I was in care for many years and only left it at 16 so have therefore only started saving in the last couple of years since I started my current job - my savings are still very low. Even with decent pay, London just sucks money out of me. I only commute from zone 3 but it costs a fortune and obviously rent is high. DS goes to state school and I rarely go out as I work long hours either at the office or at home. When I do go out I spend as little as possible and i dont exactly go designer shopping for DS, whose tastes are still quite low on the spending scale (e.g. we're in a lego phase).

How do these people afford deposits for their houses? Am I missing out on some sort of massive inheritance that everyone else gets? Or am I just absolutely crap with money? I never thought I was til recently...

PanickingIdiot Wed 09-Jan-13 19:37:33

My absolute dream is to own my own home. it would literally spell security and happiness on a plate for me!

Oh, but it doesn't, you see. The things that spell security are skills, education, talent, work ethics and the ability to land on your feet whatever happens - all of which you have already proved you have.

You should be very proud of yourself. Don't listen to Farcebook and people whose only achievement is to have a massive debt to their names. By all means, get yourself a house if that's your dream, but don't lose perspective.

Ephiny Wed 09-Jan-13 19:44:57

I agree, home ownership certainly does not mean complete security (especially if you mean with a mortgage, rather than owned outright). And you don't know anything about people's true situation from their smug Facebook posts.

For all you know they might be jealous of you - your great job and your independence.

There's never much point comparing yourself to other people anyway.

Goodwordguide Wed 09-Jan-13 19:49:28

Spend anytime at all on the property board and you will soon see that there is a massive discrepancy between house prices/rents in London and elsewhere. My family in the north-east cannot believe what our tiny ex-council 3bed house in London went on the market for, yet it we had offers in a week. That's why so many move out eventually to the likes of Kent, Beds., Surrey etc - still expensive but nothing compared with zones 1-6.

Not many people in their mid-20s can afford to buy, particularly by themselves and while providing for a child. There's no rush, it sounds like you have achieved an awful lot already and you have great prospects. Buying an ipad is not an achievement.

forehead Wed 09-Jan-13 20:06:45

OP, your achievements will definitely bring you rewards. Sometimes , one has to be patient.
Don't believe what you read on facebook. I know many people who lie blatantly on facebook.

NatashaBee Wed 09-Jan-13 20:10:30

I think you have done amazingly well. I do own a house now but panic in the same way about saving for DCs college, our retirement, building up a nest egg. I sat down yesterday and made a long term plan on a spreadsheet with each year and the milestones that will happen, eg car finance paid off, mortgage paid off, child goes to full time school and daycare fees end, etc. It did make me feel quite a bit better that we're heading in the right direction. Maybe it would help if you mapped out the next few years in the same way?

Hydrophilic Wed 09-Jan-13 20:43:38

I'm only a year younger than you and, out of my group of friends from back home, am the only one to have moved out!! There's no children yet either.

You sound sorted. You may not have a house yet but you have a good job, education and a sensible head on your shoulders. It will all work out.

I'm hoping to go back to uni so won't have any chance of home ownership until my 30s but it's all about playing the long game with life. smile

Another who is amazed that at 25 you have a 6 year old and a post grad education!

DP and I are in a similar situation to Hydro, most of our peers either live at home with parents still or are living within 20 miles of our old school and down the road from Mum and Dad, a mix of no kids/kids though. We won't be able to afford a mortgage for a long time, DP is in his second year of a four year degree and I can't work full time! Yet according to our FB profiles we're really settled, looking forward to the future (which is true, but we're both terrified too!), have no money problems, no health problems, on track to getting our own place, etc etc ;)

It does all work out in the end, working hard now will mean an easier future for you, and like others have said, FB isn't that representative of real life!

sameoldlovebunny Wed 09-Jan-13 21:32:45

you and your child seem to be doing fine. wouldn't worry too much about home ownership its a pain in the backside. you're already doing really, really well.
can you do your job from somewhere cheaper? leeds and manchester are nice and the villages around have reasonably priced properties.

BunFagFreddie Wed 09-Jan-13 23:57:59

I agree, home ownership certainly does not mean complete security (especially if you mean with a mortgage, rather than owned outright).

Agreed. The house belongs to the bank until you pay the debt back.

MorrisZapp Thu 10-Jan-13 00:09:58

If your schoolmates still live in a deprived part of the midlands and you live in London, surely you don't need to ask how come they have houses and you don't?

BackforGood Thu 10-Jan-13 00:15:43

At only 25, having had time out to go to University and to have a ds, I can't really see why you would expect to have had time to save for a deposit.

You're hardly the exception. It said on 'Location, Location, Location' last week that the average age of the first time buyer across the country was 30, and in London, was 32, so you've got 7 years of saving you can do before you become later than "average".

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