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AIBU?

Or rather is DH being unreasonable?

102 replies

2beornot · 09/01/2013 07:56

DH asked me to start this thread off, I'll show it to him later.

The workers at dd's nursery (she goes two days per week) at exceptionally bad when it comes to grammar, spelling and general use of the English language.

Here is an excerpt from dd's nursery book yesterday:

"Iv had a lovley day today we done singing and painting and we also went in a lovley walk to the shops to by some some snack" (I've been very careful to copy it exactly!).

This book is written by dd's key worker at nursery. It's not just written though, they speak in a similar way.

Now this really bothers DH. Partly because its annoying wherever you see incorrect spellings etc. but I think it's more of an issue as they spend so much time with dd. Whereas I just think that they've got more important things to worry about and in the grand scheme of things it's minor.

So, is he BU?

OP posts:
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carocaro · 09/01/2013 08:02

They are probably writing it with toddlers crawling all over them, trying remember each child, using clipped language to be quicker and more succinct. He could say somthing, but it will only piss them off. Is you daughter happy? Do they take good cre of her? If yes, then leave it alone. If it was a teacher at school it would be a whole different story. My reports for my children were the same more or less, but both loved nursery and learned a lot, crying when they left and which is more important. So in a kind word your DH needs to spend more time thinking of other stuff!

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Jeezaloo · 09/01/2013 08:02

I'm afriad I'm very judgey about this sort of thing, so it would really bother me.

That said, I'm also a wuss, so don't know how I'd tackle it!

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HecatePropolos · 09/01/2013 08:02

A bit. Its not great but its nursery and its for 2 days a week. Your child's bigger influence right now is the two of you. So reading with her and talking to her how you want her to absorb it should be fine. She'll come into contact with many different ways of talking and many people with poor literacy skills. That's ok. You sort that.
I grew up on a sinkhole council estate in a mining village in 'ee by gum' territory Grin. I was terrorised for my 'posh' way of talking Grin ... because through all that, my parents taught me how to talk, read and write.
So tell him to not worry and to just crack on with it himself.

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ZillionChocolate · 09/01/2013 08:02

It would annoy me too. I suppose it wouldn't matter so much if she was 2 weeks old but I assume she's older than that. Isn't it important to model good use of language?

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HecatePropolos · 09/01/2013 08:03

Apols for typing. Am on pad!

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MusicalEndorphins · 09/01/2013 08:06

Hmmm. Correct it with a red pen? Grin
Not sure, would depend on what other child care is available, poor grammar isn't the worst thing if they take good care of the dc. You can always correct your dc if they pick it up.

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Jelly15 · 09/01/2013 08:06

Personally I wouldn't sweat about it, she is only there two days so most of the time she will be with people who speak correctly. If she attended five days I would be concerned.

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RedHelenB · 09/01/2013 08:07

His key worker is unlikely to be educated beyond their NVQ in childcare, they are not teachers who have to have GCSEs in English & maths. Remember it is a minimum wage job.

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MusicalEndorphins · 09/01/2013 08:08

Were you aware of how they spoke when you choose them?

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Grumpla · 09/01/2013 08:08

I think that the literacy levels of the staff are not great but that they wouldn't be the top of my list in terms of assessing a nursery.

The keyworker for my ds1 used to make fairly frequent spelling mistakes in his journal but given that ds1 was about 18months at that stage it didn't really bother me, it wasn't as if she was teaching him to spell! I thought her other abilities more than made up for it. She was very patient and caring, and ds1 really loved & trusted her. The nursery as a whole is really well-run, and I also think you need to bear in mind the fact that staff have at least three or four journals to update, and they don't spend all day over it! Now ds1 is in the "big" room I notice that all the resources, posters, labels etc are always correct, I think mistakes in those would worry me much more than journals etc which are only intended as a means of communication for parents.

Also they have never ever spelt my DS's name wrong (there are several spellings). The nursery he was at previously frequently spelt it wrong on his paint splodges masterpieces and that did bother me.

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Gumby · 09/01/2013 08:09

Agree with redhelen

Unfortunately for many people childcare work is low paid & what Sch leavers do when they're not educated well enough to go any further in education

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catgirl1976 · 09/01/2013 08:11

His key worker is unlikely to be educated beyond their NVQ in childcare

I don't know. A lot of the workers at DS's nursery have degrees in childcare (Early Years?)

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YorkshireDeb · 09/01/2013 08:11

It's not unreasonable to be bothered by it, but even speaking to them is unlikely to change things. Nurserys are staffed by people with childcare qualifications i.e. their ability to care for children, not their ability to spell or understand good grammar. So I guess if you're happy with their care of your child then you might have to grin & bear it. x

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lannyshrops · 09/01/2013 08:15

Hmmm..carocaro may be on to something, is it their attempt at cute baby speak? Although the fact that you say they do talk like this indicates possibly not.
I personally do not like baby speak and for what I am aware of it is important to use correct language / grammar when speaking to children as that is how they learn.
To be honest, it would probably concern me a little to I do not think your OH is being unreasonable, but additionally I'm not sure its a huge issue it is so I do not think UABU either.
She is only there 2 days a week so you and DH remain her primary influence, if she is happy and appears to love it, I would probably let it be. However if OH is really concerned maybe a chat with the managerwould be helpful/put his mind at rest?

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WinkyWinkola · 09/01/2013 08:17

Your dd is going to meet people for all walks of life - hopefully - and it's important that she does so.

Nursery isn't going to be her education in terms of spelling/grammar etc and if she picks up ways of speaking that you don't approve of, then I'm sure at this stage your influence will stop it.

It is poor writing and I too would raise an eyebrow, but it doesn't really matter because it won't affect your child. As long as she is well looked after in terms of time, affection and playing then that's all you can hope for in a nursery.

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tarantula · 09/01/2013 08:17

Am presuming this is a nursery rather than a nursery school, so the people who work there are doing a stressful job looking after kids and the money isn't great either so it isn't a generally a job that attracts people with brilliant academic skills but rather people who are intested and care about children. They are also having to sort out the diaries inbetween other duties so probably spelling and grammar aren't top of their agenda. As long as your child is well cared for and is enjoying it then that is what matters. Would you prefer that the staff spent longer making sure their spelling was correct or playing with the children?

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SomebodySaveMe · 09/01/2013 08:19

I work in a nursery and this infuriates me. To the point I've rewritten things. We have a member of staff who doesn't even capitalise the child's name.

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bringbacksideburns · 09/01/2013 08:24

Bejesus - the snobby assumptions on this thread?


Unfortunately for many people childcare work is low paid & what Sch leavers do when they're not educated well enough to go any further in education - why must a school leaver be uneducated? How do you know how they did at school? A uni degree does not mean you are suddenly Bamber Gascoine!

I understand what you are saying btw OP because where i work sometimes my colleagues and even bosses put up notices that are badly spelt and it does make me cringe. It's a public building so sometimes i take them down and put them up redone.

It's not just written though, they speak in a similar way. - I have to say it wouldn't matter to me how they spoke as long as they were good at their job but hey, Ho.
If it bothers your DH so much maybe he should show the manager an excerpt from the book. The Worker may have dsylexia. Don't assume grammatical errors reflect intelligence Mumsnet.

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CloudsAndTrees · 09/01/2013 08:25

It would massively bother me.

I could maybe live with it if they spoke properly and the care they gave was excellent in all other areas, but if they are talking like this too then I'd be worried.

How much time does your dd spend at the nursery? If its a couple of mornings a week, I'd let it go, but if she's there for quite a bit of time then she is likely to pick up the wrong use of language. I work with Early Years, we are supposed to model good behaviour for a reason!

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bringbacksideburns · 09/01/2013 08:26

Now i'm sniggering because i spelt dyslexia wrong Grin

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Dolallytats · 09/01/2013 08:30

It would bug me, but probably not to the extent that I would say something. I live in a part of East London where the teenagers/young adults sentences are littered with 'innit', 'y'get me' and 'y'know wha' I mean' and this drives me loopy!!

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Goldmandra · 09/01/2013 08:30

It would irritate me in the same way that it irritates me in other places that don't matter, including MN.

However, the ability to form a secure bond with your child and help her to be a confident and enthusiastic learner is far more important than literacy skills at this age. Your DD is hearing and processing far more language than that which she hears at nursery and all you need to do is model the speech you would like her to use when she is with you. Work out how many waking hours a week she spends with them and how many with you. You will then see how much greater your influence is.

TBH, being able to adapt your speech patterns to fit in with those around you can be a useful skill so this could be a positive learning experience.

The person writing the diary may well be qualified to Foundation Degree level or beyond. Many Early Years practitioners are. He or she may also have dyslexia. Whatever the reason I wouldn't worry about it.

If your DD is getting the opportunity to learn through really good quality play experiences, exploring and investigating alongside adults who nurture her and keep her safe she is getting what she needs at this stage in her development.

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SomebodySaveMe · 09/01/2013 08:34

One of our keyworker says yeah after every sentence, drops her t's and is very loud. The kids then pick up on it.

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Startail · 09/01/2013 08:35

Written wouldn't bother me, I'm dyslexic and despite loads of qualifications my spelling is dire.

Add crawling toddlers and I dread to think.

Spoken language would bother me more (as that is what effects the child).

However, as others say you chatter, read and spend far more one to one time with your DD than the nursery staff.

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lynniep · 09/01/2013 08:36

It doesnt particularly bother me. Some of the staff at our nursery can spell, others not so great, but at the end of the day they can write a legible diary and thats all I'm fussed about on that front.
I'm more worried about whether they can adequately care about my child. What they write in his diary is irrelevant to him - he can't read it - the stuff they write at nursery is always fine (like cards to mummy and daddy etc which the children do see).
Yes from a language point of view it might be an issue, but small children can be corrected at home. You can't change how they speak, so if you arent happy with it you need to think about moving your DC to somewhere with well spoken staff...

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