Mumsnet Talk

I think two wives in the same house would be like the irresistible force meets the immovable object.

What if there was a difference of opinion on which way the toilet paper should hang?

Cleaner won't do I'm afraid. I want someone who goes that bit further. Anticipates my needs a bit. Occasionally pampers me. She still would not need to sleep with me.

Genius

I'd love a wife. Or a housekeeper.

No no, to wages! Housekeeping allowance

Get a cleaner.

If you're married/partnered it's not a wage, it's an allowance. Got to get the terminology right if you want to keep Immigration off your necks.

Thought as much

It was the vodka

passed out cat?

I would like a Russian bride

I have always wanted (needed) a wife and she might bring Vodka

I

abbier

Apparently guaranteed sex dating is the way to go

Yes, maybe I was being a little unreasonable, you should choose her on her domestic and taking-children-to-school abilities

Is is not rather wrong to choose a bride for comedic purposes? I know I don't have the moral high ground here, but maybe I should compromise with a plain homely wife?

Or better yet, a lesbian wife. Who knows I offer her my gratitude, respect and a small wage? But no sexual demands??

Maddening- where would you have sex, other than in 'your area'? I thought that was what my 'area' was for!

So next year we'll be able to spot MNers not by their scarves, but by their interesting domestic set-ups.

<off to open hotmail account and wait for spam>

Good answer, I think do both. Make yourself bee yoo tiful an also get a bride who looks like the chap from Little Britain for pure comedy purposes

Cultivate sexy accent, store and use for special occasions

Oh yeah, I want a big strapping lass to carry the coal in and chop the wood

Ah, no worries. I will have more time on my hands to make myself bee-yoo-tiful.

I can also cultivate a sexy accent.

Or play safe and choose myself a bride who looks like the chap from little Britain?

Word of advice, make sure she's ugly. You wouldn't want the DH getting any ideas...

I'd like a Russian bride. I'm trying to learn Russian so she could help me. I would, in return, buy her blinis from sainsburys [ smile]

Absolutely, you're completely on to something here!!

I am sure that a young woman would rather be married to a considerate charming woman like me rather than a sweaty pervy old man. I am quite a nice life partner and would be even nicer with someone at home to pick up the slack.

I admire your creative thinking, I think YANBU and in fact have an excellent idea that I can see people taking advantage of with our new civil partnership laws... Awesome idea... Totally not off to have a quick chat to the other half and take at Mail Order Bride websites

I am only getting offers of guaranteed sex in my area I have enough sex in my area but no offers of russian wives