To order myself a mail order bride?

(38 Posts)
44SoStartingOver Mon 07-Jan-13 13:13:35

Now, I am totally against any sort of human trafficking, slavery (which I understand is at its highest levels in history) or prostitution.

Bearing that in mind, would I be unreasonable to offer to marry one of the nice young ladies who emails me offering companionship etc?

Dh has done the sahp thing for a couple of days and it's fab. I think I need someone at home to do the school run, be a bit domestic and generally take e pressure off.

On the plus side for the mail order bride, so would not have to sleep with me or fake affection for me. Or generally live with a grotty old man. I reckon on my (pathetic ) salary I could afford to divorce dh ( he and I can live in sin) and have a civil partnership with new mail order bride and pay her minimum wage.

Totally unethical? Presumably she is keen to come to uk. Or do I need to look elsewhere for a more ethical domestic ménage a trois?

kinkyfuckery Mon 07-Jan-13 13:17:09

I think you're looking for an au pair wink

SarahStratton Mon 07-Jan-13 13:18:28

DD2 suggested we get a MO Bride to do all the cleaning the other day. We had a little discussion.

HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 13:20:05

Oh god, I SO want a wife! [only half joking emoticon]

More and more these days I find myself thinking how great it would be to have another woman around the place! grin

purplewithred Mon 07-Jan-13 13:20:44

Why would you 'marry' her AND pay her? surely the point of marriage is that you don't have to pay for all those services any more?

44SoStartingOver Mon 07-Jan-13 13:22:09

I would not want to exploit her! I would want her to be 50s style domestic angel, so some wage seems only fair!

SamuelWestsMistress Mon 07-Jan-13 13:23:52

I'd bloody love a wife. Wives are incredible! (I should know, I am one!)

I've gone a bit further and decided who I even want as my wife. It's Loraine Pascal. She seems absolutely delightful, very organised, the kids would love her, she's shit hot in the kitchen and she's always happy. Lubly Jubly.

LimeLeafLizard Mon 07-Jan-13 13:27:04

I wouldn't want Lorraine Pascal as my wife because she would make me look like an old chubby frump in comparison although if she came round to cook once or twice a week that would be fine.

44SoStartingOver Mon 07-Jan-13 13:27:16

Lordy, I am fantasising over having mrs doubt fire marry me aren't it?

SamuelWestsMistress Mon 07-Jan-13 13:33:06

I have gone for the trophy wife in many ways, I realise this. But I have high standards!

We will be the new Derek Branning and Kat Slater.

Sallyingforth Mon 07-Jan-13 13:55:35

If you have a civil partnership you don't need to pay her minimum (or any) wage. But I don't think you are serious.

SarahStratton Mon 07-Jan-13 14:02:10

DD2 wants a Thai bride, she loves Thai food.

44SoStartingOver Mon 07-Jan-13 15:49:13

oooo I had not even considered a Thai bride - all the ones who contact me seem to be Russian.

I lurve Thai food! (superficial)

maddening Mon 07-Jan-13 16:01:01

I am only getting offers of guaranteed sex in my area sad I have enough sex in my area but no offers of russian wives sad sad

BJunction Mon 07-Jan-13 21:32:56

I admire your creative thinking, I think YANBU and in fact have an excellent idea that I can see people taking advantage of with our new civil partnership laws... Awesome idea... Totally not off to have a quick chat to the other half and take at Mail Order Bride websites

44SoStartingOver Mon 07-Jan-13 21:38:59

I am sure that a young woman would rather be married to a considerate charming woman like me rather than a sweaty pervy old man. I am quite a nice life partner and would be even nicer with someone at home to pick up the slack.

BJunction Mon 07-Jan-13 21:44:21

Absolutely, you're completely on to something here!!

hiddenhome Mon 07-Jan-13 21:53:32

I'd like a Russian bride. I'm trying to learn Russian so she could help me. I would, in return, buy her blinis from sainsburys [ smile]

BJunction Mon 07-Jan-13 22:24:36

Word of advice, make sure she's ugly. You wouldn't want the DH getting any ideas...

44SoStartingOver Mon 07-Jan-13 22:27:05

Ah, no worries. I will have more time on my hands to make myself bee-yoo-tiful.

I can also cultivate a sexy accent.

Or play safe and choose myself a bride who looks like the chap from little Britain?

hiddenhome Mon 07-Jan-13 22:29:08

Oh yeah, I want a big strapping lass to carry the coal in and chop the wood grin

BJunction Mon 07-Jan-13 22:29:26

Good answer, I think do both. Make yourself bee yoo tiful an also get a bride who looks like the chap from Little Britain for pure comedy purposes smile

Cultivate sexy accent, store and use for special occasions

So next year we'll be able to spot MNers not by their scarves, but by their interesting domestic set-ups. grin

<off to open hotmail account and wait for spam>

abbierhodes Mon 07-Jan-13 22:33:04

Maddening- where would you have sex, other than in 'your area'? I thought that was what my 'area' was for! confused grin

44SoStartingOver Mon 07-Jan-13 22:33:07

Is is not rather wrong to choose a bride for comedic purposes? I know I don't have the moral high ground here, but maybe I should compromise with a plain homely wife?

Or better yet, a lesbian wife. Who knows I offer her my gratitude, respect and a small wage? But no sexual demands??

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