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To be upset that DH gets in a bad mood with me if any of the DCs are ill?

(55 Posts)
Findingmyself Sat 05-Jan-13 09:37:38

He seems to think I'm the unreasonable one.

To give an example, one night last week our 3 year old DS went to bed and woke up about an hour later crying and feeling poorly. He was subsequently up until around 2am. During this time I dealt with him, DH just moaned that he was tired and went to sleep. The following day, even though it was me that had been up with DS, DH was in a foul mood with me, and wouldn't really speak to me, and instead just moaned about how tired he was. When the kids are ill DH goes very uncommunicative, and starts making smart arse comments at me like a child. He does it when I've been ill too, and I never get looked after at all if ill, I just have to soldier on.

About a year ago, DS was ill with a virus for almost a week, and again I stayed up with him every night, probably getting about 8 hours sleep in 4 nights in total. DH spent the whole time not talking to me, and just avoiding us really, and being like a surly child if I asked him to do anything.

He's like it with me too if either of our other children are ill. He also gets moody if any of them are badly behaved; DS woke up early this morning and had a tantrum because he's tired, and now it looks like I'm in for another day of not being spoken to by DH.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Sat 05-Jan-13 12:43:26

1) Kids get ill, its not your fault, you cant prevent it
2) Hes a dickhead, threatening to leave 2 days after bringing baby home, ffs did he ever grow up
3) I bet whenever hes i'll the world has to stop for him
4) Tell him to grow up or fuck off, if he does nothing you wont miss him.

"I think he is happy as long as everything suits him."
That red flag is waving from the hilltops. I'm so sorry, but he is a selfish, selfish person. You say that he wanted children, and I expect he did say so - all the better to tie you to him, you see. And the bragging rights to the outside world of how he is just sooo virile. <vomit>

He is not going to change, and he will probably get worse. You are probably walking on eggshells already. Someone who hadn't been ground down by this behaviour would have told him to fuck off already. sad

nickelbabylyinginamanger Sat 05-Jan-13 12:53:20

i want to know what he's like on their birthdays and at christmas, too.

OP: did you have a nice christmas?
what was it like?

missrlr Sat 05-Jan-13 13:38:37

This is your lightbulb moment. Simply by posting here you KNOW he is an unreasonable so and so and you are unhappy with it.
To clarify : this is emotional abuse
Who holds the purse strings?
Sort yourself a plan to get out of this relationship as it is. If you think he can change try talking and counselling. You may want or benefit from seeking help just for you also. If not or that has been done to no avail or fails then plan to leave and sooner not later.
Good luck

JamesBexleySpeed Sat 05-Jan-13 23:25:52

OP, is he an arse on your DCs birthdays?

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