to thiink just for once my family would pretend to give a fuck ?

(80 Posts)
Kashdogg82 Sat 05-Jan-13 01:16:33

Name Changed though this in itself might out me .

It's my Birthday yay me & as per usual my Dh , My mum & all siblings just don't bother to even get me a card never mind a present the most ill get is a 'Happy Birthday' on Facebook & that's it & its the same every year , even as a child .
It's not that I want presents its the principal of it .
I'd love to have a night out with friends to celebrate or even have a few friends round but I can't so ill just spend yet another day wishing it would all go away .
I even asked if I could go to my mums tomorrow in hope that any one if them had got me a card but they are all to busy to see me .
The worse part is having to answer my Ds's (4) questions as to why I have no presents it cards .
I feel completely unreasonable for feeling this way & maybe I should just grow up .
AIBU or do I really deserve better confused

I don't think your DH has any excuse. Your birthday is on the same day every year, so when he did have time off, he could have bought something a month, 2 months in advance, it just takes a little planning.

Him saying he won't use the internet is, IMO, him saying he doesn't really care enough to bother, even if he can't get time off.

Kashdogg82 Sat 05-Jan-13 20:10:58

Thanks qod but I'm up on the North Coast

QOD Sat 05-Jan-13 19:46:50

Are you in south east Kent per chance? I'm going to a roller disco soon for my friends birthday, you can come too!!
We're 14 44

dishwashervodkaanddietirnbru Sat 05-Jan-13 19:37:53

My dh's birthday is 2 days after Xmas but I always make sure I have got cards for him from me and the dc's well in advance. I also make sure that he has presents to open too. He had some crappy birthdays as a child so I like to think we make them a bit better as an adult.

My dh has a sister like that. Everyone just seems to accept she doesn't do cards or pressies, ever. (Dh says on the odd occasion she did buy pressies when he was younger they would be deliberately crap for comedy value!)

Maybe arrange something with just you and Dh etc when he isn't working. Cinema or takeaway?

And next year plan ahead. Make sure you get a treat on the day.

Kashdogg82 Sat 05-Jan-13 18:47:54

bringback I did that last year & didn't get a response from it so just kinda gave up

Kashdogg82 Sat 05-Jan-13 18:46:32

Thanks everybody feels good to put it in to words smile
My Dh didn't forget , he works split shifts 7 days a week & atm can't take anytime off , So says he didn't have time to get a card or anything & doesn't use the internet for some unfathomable reason .
My Ds made me a load of cards & gave me a jigsaw that I gave him for Christmas and 50p grin & went mad at his Dad saying I should have lots of presents & cards .
My mum Doesn't like getting presents herself & has never really been in to the whole 'birthday' thing sad
Thanks everybody it means a lot

And Happy Birthday! wine

Miserable buggers!

Very odd that your mother doesn't bother aswell.
I hope you don't rush around bothering for them when it's their turn or do they expect something??

If they do i'd be tempted to post something passive aggressive like:
I'd like to thank my mother and my family for yet again making this a Birthday to remember. Thanks for the cards. I didn't expect any gifts but an acknowledgement via post instead of Facebook might have made it feel like a day different to all the rest.

Childish? Hell yes. But they'd get the point.

SoftKittyWarmKitty Sat 05-Jan-13 18:29:46

OP, that's really awful. I've got two birthdays to buy for close after Christmas, one on 27th Dec and one today. I bought their presents and cards when I bought their Xmas presents. There really is no excuse. I think you need to make a fuss about it and let everyone know in no uncertain terms that you're upset not to get so much as a card and it's not acceptable. There's a widely held view that people treat you the way you allow them to. To me it seems to be indicative of how much these people think of you. Have you ever said to them how upsetting you find it to be dismissed so easily? Tell them it's not acceptable and there's really no excuse to ignore your birthday.

Don't buy then anything for their birthdays either, the selfish fuckers. Then they can see how it feels.

Happy birthday! thanks wine

Mia4 Sat 05-Jan-13 18:26:14

Oh and happy birthday OP, you should arrange to meet your friends tonight and you 'DH' should bloody well be taking care of your DS since he can't be arsed to do anything else.

mantlepiece Sat 05-Jan-13 18:23:25

Sorry I forgot! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Mia4 Sat 05-Jan-13 18:22:53

YANBU. I hope you don't get or give them anything either, if you do stop doing it right now.

mantlepiece Sat 05-Jan-13 18:21:45

I think all you people with birthdays around Christmas should do what the queen does, choose another date as your official one.say six months time when its bound to be sunny!!

Or do like the Greeks do and celebrate your name day... supposing you can spot a saint with a similar name to you!

LadyPeterWimsey Sat 05-Jan-13 18:18:39

Oh, and Happy Birthday!

LadyPeterWimsey Sat 05-Jan-13 18:18:11

I don't get this 'too skint after Christmas' excuse. Dd's birthday has just gone and she gets great presents because everything is reduced in the sales.

Foggles Sat 05-Jan-13 18:09:25

Ooh, I wish there was a way you could safely let us all know your address and I bet you'd get an avalanche of cards.

There is simply NO EXCUSE. Even if everybody was completely broke - what's wrong with making something?

I'm really shocked that you said you were treated the same "even as a child".

You are worth more than this.

Happy Birthday thanks

Loveweekends10 Sat 05-Jan-13 17:53:06

Sorry. Didn't compute that your husband actually didn't even get you a card.
I wouldn't be married to someone like that. That's absolutely out of order.

My birthday is in January so I get used to people being skint blah blah but your husband forgetting!! I'm afraid maybe it's telling you something. Ball them out and maybe they will respect you more.

Callycat Sat 05-Jan-13 17:25:53

Miserable buggers! My friend has a birthday in the first week of January, and thanks to the post-Christmas sales I can always get her something far better than I can usually afford. No excuse!

DeltaUniformDeltaEcho Sat 05-Jan-13 15:41:09

Happy birthday!

My DD's birthday is on the 2nd and she gets the "too skint after christmas" thing from my family too sad

I just add her birthday stuff onto my christmas list and end up splitting the gifts for each event - usually more for her birthday to balance out the lack from others.

It's also hard to arrange things like lunch out because no one can afford it.

I hope she finds a partner who will do a better job of remembering her birthday!

5inabed Sat 05-Jan-13 15:40:49

That's so sad! No wonder you're upset I think most people would be. We have lotsof birthdays near christmas and all are acknowledged. I have my son, nephew and fil in November then my db in December christmas then dd1 on 27th and my niece, dd2 and my mum in Jan. You just plan ahead or use the sales.
Presumably your Dh has a day off at some point get him nothing for his bday and see how hw likes it.

Happy Birthday!!

Don't ever get anyone anything ever again. Spend the money you would've spent on them on yourself.
Especially don't get your OH anything. It takes 10 minutes to order a bunch of flowers online. No excuse.

SantasENormaSnob Sat 05-Jan-13 15:34:00

Yanbu at all sad

I cannot comprehend dh and my family not getting me even a card.

I wouldn't be getting cards or gifts for any of them ever again.

cocoachannel Sat 05-Jan-13 15:32:31

Happy birthday!

LineRunner Sat 05-Jan-13 15:29:20

OP, the other thing you can do with your DS is sit down with him, a piece of paper and some crayons and help him make you a birthday card.

Ideally your DH should be doing this, but mine never did either so I did it myself with the DCs and they enjoyed it, and when they were old enough carried on the tradition on their own.

(They certainly don't do it for their father.)

I love home-made cards and their personal messages.

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