Child went missing in 99p store

(249 Posts)
PassionateaboutParenting Fri 04-Jan-13 18:01:16

My 2 year old son went missing in a 99p store on the High street in Leytonstone. I turned to pay for the items I bought and my son disappeared within those seconds.I called for my son and looked through the isles for him, my 6&4 year olds were with me. I asked the security guard to shut the door, he refused. Instead he told me that I should hold my child's hand.
The last thind I needed in my sheer panic at the thought of having lost my son was to be judged so harshly. None of the staff tried to assist me and just proceeded as usual, and it took another customer to search for my child and bring him to me.
People were awful either pretending not to notice or otherwise passing nasty remarks. I want to start a campaign to create a child safe scheme in my area. Has anyone else done this?
I have complained to the 99p store bit not sure if they will respond. Has anyone heard of the Code Adam in the USA?

Kalisi Fri 04-Jan-13 18:32:45

Come on everyone leave fredfred alone, they were clearly being ironic. Right? Yes?
.........Please say you were because otherwise you kind of sound like a massive dick. Just saying.

somuchslimmernow Fri 04-Jan-13 18:32:50

This happened to us in London a couple of years ago, 5 yo DS wondered off without us realising, the whole street pulled together to help find him, fortunatly turned up safe and sound but worst 5 minutes of my life. Cant believe the attitude of the shop and some posters on here.

PassionateaboutParenting Fri 04-Jan-13 18:32:53

Am not saying my child is not my responsibility but isn't it basic humanity to help someone find a lost child? 77000 children go missing in the UK every year. Do you even have kids FredFredGeorge?

Lovecat Fri 04-Jan-13 18:33:21

When DD was about 2.5 I lost her in Asda once - was on the corner of an aisle and she was right next to me, I bent down to pick something off the shelf and she must have legged it in the opposite direction because she had vanished from sight in the few seconds it took me to straighten up.

The staff were amazing, they closed the front doors, several ladies ran with me down the aisles all calling DD's name, after a very long 2 minutes she was found at the other end of the store (near the doors - wibble).

She did this once in IKEA too in the restaurant when I was manhandling a tray - more or less the whole restaurant got up to help me, though. sad that the 99p staff/customers were so rude and unbothered. I know that shop too and tbh it doesn't surprise me...

FredFred, you obviously have never lost a child so why exactly are you posting here apart from to prove what a perfect parent you must be? Smugness never appealing. Just a tip smile

porridgewithalmondmilk Fri 04-Jan-13 18:34:10

But, and I am not being judgemental - it's a genuine question - if the doors are locked, so that other customers can't get in/out, that is really putting other customers out. Not so much the coming in (unless there are urgent reasons why someone needed to go in a store grin) but someone could be in a rush/catching a bus or train?

RyleDup Fri 04-Jan-13 18:35:22

Lovely fredfred, just lovely. The customers wouldn't want to be inconvenienced for the sake of a missing child now would they. Far more important to get your 99p goods safely back home after all.

Yes op it is shocking that the staff didn't help you, I hope you get a decent response to your complaint. My dd vanished in tescos once. I took my eyes off her for a split second and she was gone. Fortunately the tescos staff were very quick off the mark and found her within a couple of minutes.

Are those things any good missymoo?

Lovecat Fri 04-Jan-13 18:37:28

ime, Porridge, they don't lock the doors, just close them over so that the child can't run out unattended.

LuluMai Fri 04-Jan-13 18:37:38

That's very mean of them! I'd have helped you search OP!

TheNebulousBoojum Fri 04-Jan-13 18:37:43

I got lost once as a small child of 6, and my dad was overseas on an unaccompanied posting. So my mother turned out the guardhouse, and the barracks and all the available adults in the married quarters and I was found. No one was cross or pointing a finger of blame, they were delighted. Next time it could be their child, and them asking for help. And it would be there in spades.
A child in potential danger should be everyone's concern, and everyone who can should do their best to help them be found safe.
Or you are an absolute shit in my book.

porridgewithalmondmilk Fri 04-Jan-13 18:38:04

Thanks Lovecat - I didn't realise smile

soverylucky Fri 04-Jan-13 18:38:06

The store could have helped more and tbh I am surprised that they didn't. Having said that I worked in retail once and this happened all too often. It has happened to me for a split second too. I made sure it didn't happen again with reins. The store should reflect here on what it did wrong as should all of us parents who have had this happen to us.

PeachesandStrawberry Fri 04-Jan-13 18:39:01

FredFredGeorge

I hope this never happens to you. You need to grow up.

OP.

I'm glad you found your son and the people at the store should have helped

Beamur Fri 04-Jan-13 18:39:22

It only takes a second for a child to go out of sight, it's easily done. My DD is very fond of hiding in clothes racks...it's a heart freezing moment when you realise your child is out of sight.
I don't know anything about the schemes you mention, but it's a shame that people weren't more helpful.

I lost dd1 (7) at the beach before. I picked up dd2 under my arm and ran, leaving buggy towels etc. not one person stopped to help or ask was I ok and when I finally found her, and we got back, loads of our stuff had been robbed. Hands down the worst day of my life.
Hope you're ok op

5madthings Fri 04-Jan-13 18:39:55

I think they will let customers out but make sure the missing child isn't with them.

Yanbu op it is behind awful when this happens, that sick feeling, its just horrible but normally people are helpful, sorry that wasn't your experience.

I second the little life backpacks they are fab.

Yes they are Ryled DH took DD 5 aisles away from me in the supermarket to test it out and I could hear it fine. It was clear what direction it was coming from too. I put them on my younger DDs velcro on her shoe and my older DDs belt. Well worth the money for peace of mind I think.

KenLeeeeeee Fri 04-Jan-13 18:41:29

When DS1 was 2.5 he legged it away from me in Hammersmith Primark. I ran after him but the little sod bolted through the front doors & went straight towards the busy main road. Thankfully the security guard launched himself after ds & grabbed him before he got to the road. He was very polite & reassuring with me - thank goodness he didn't give me any judgmental lectures as I was already crying my eyes out!

Come to think of it, I don't know of a single parent whose toddler hasn't escaped/gone wandering at least once.

PassionateaboutParenting Fri 04-Jan-13 18:42:03

http://www.childsafezones.co.uk/childsafe-zones.html

Child Safe Zones in the UK- do you have them in your borough?

RyleDup Fri 04-Jan-13 18:44:29

Brilliant missy. i was looking at those a few months ago, (when dd went missing in the supermarket) but couldn't decide if they were tat that wouldn't be very loud, or actually something that would be useful. I'll get some then. Thanks for that.

I cant believe how rude and unhelpful they were. This is a child in potential danger-going to stand by and watch them get hurt and lost just because it was someone elses responsibilty to look after them.

Kids bolt, my dd did it to me in soft play once , the place had 2 levels, the baby and toddler zones and then down a big ramp the big climbing frame for older kids, at the age of 18m she disappeared, the staff were amazing. Tannoy, extra people, doors on lock down. She was found climbing into the big area.

harryhausen Fri 04-Jan-13 18:47:59

How horrible for you OP. I have lost my children a few times.

Both times both places couldn't have helped more, including members of the public. The first time my dd was about 2. We were waiting in a queue for the zoo. I said to DH that I was going ahead to the front to see how much annual membership would be. DH thought I had dd. I thought he had her. Unknown to us she'd ran off looking for me, slipped into the zoo itself. Within minutes we had security all on walkie talkies discussing a course of action. She was missing for about 5 mins but it felt like forever. An elderly couple had found her and were bringing her back to the Ticket counter. I couldn't thank them enough. I was really shaken. About 5 years later we lost her in toys r us. She maturely went up to the customer service counter and explained she was lost. All much calmer.

My ds (4) went missing in M&S. He was literally stood by my feet, I stretched up to reach a school shirt down from the top shelf looked down & he was gone hmm. The staff in M&S were great. He was eventually found looking at bras in the underwear dept.

Even with reins, you cannot constantly hold a child for every second - especially if you have other dc's and shopping bags etc.

I wouldn't fail for a second to help someone find a child. It's disgusting that people would prefer to have an 'attitude' towards the parent rather than concern/compassion. What a sad world we must live in hmm

PiccadillyCervix Fri 04-Jan-13 18:49:47

FredFredGeorge Your children are your responsibility, you are not entitled to help, so sorry YABU. Perhaps the store could've assisted you more, but you are wrong to expect the shop to make huge allowances for your inattention.

Are you insane? Even if you think the OP was in the wrong you are not helping her you are helping the lost scared child who could end up in quite a lot of danger. What you said is vile.

If the OP had a car accident would you say as well shouldn't have been texting, I'm not going to hep you or your kids?

You have a moral obligation to help a child.

PassionateaboutParenting Fri 04-Jan-13 18:50:09

Really appreciate the compassionate messages.
The reason I wanted them to shut the doors- was because children could either run out of the store or be smuggled out- in disguise. Kidnappers can quickly change the childs outer clothes to disguise them. And the security didnt know what my son looked like so how could he apprehend someone?

amillionyears Fri 04-Jan-13 18:50:52

Write a letter to the Head Office of the store if you dont get any reply.
You could also take it to the local newspaper if you still are not happy. They would love a story like that.

I dont know if Code Adam is done over here.
I saw the true film about the boy going missing. Truly awful.

RafflesWay Fri 04-Jan-13 18:51:10

Omg how absolutely horrendous for you passionate! I cannot tell you how angry I am at how you were treated in this store- they should hang their heads in total shame. Have these bloody b*******s never heard of poor little Adam West in the USA???

Passionate are you ok honey? The fear you must have felt is unbelievable. How is your ds too? Please keep talking to us as you must be so shook up and by the way DO NOT BLAME YOUSELF!! 2 yr olds are lovable little monsters and can get where water can't at times. I am still livid at how you were treated. Sending you some thanks and a very large glass of wine

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