Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

to think this is not a present..

(55 Posts)
mamamibbo Thu 03-Jan-13 21:05:00

its a 'big' birthday mid january, ive been after a tablet for ages, dh didnt get me a xmas present because i was getting a big birthday present ..

hes just told me i can upgrade my phone contract in february and get a tablet as the free gift in that with my new phone (that'll probably sell since i like my phone) and hes going to do the same so we can both have tablet and the laptop can be for my business (that was my idea, we only have one computer and i need it at night when he wants to use it sometimes)

so now im getting what i asked for, 3 weeks late so thats my present sorted?

what do you reckon?

twentythirteen Sat 05-Jan-13 16:45:29

It sounds lazy to me. If you want a tablet and can upgrade soon and get one that way then that seems a perfectly sensible for you to do, but it isn't a present form him.

fuzzpig Sat 05-Jan-13 16:44:14

He gets one for being special. She gets one for her joint b'day xmas present.

Exactly - she gets one in place of Xmas and birthday presents, he gets one AND birthday and Xmas presents. This is not very fair.

diddl Germany Sat 05-Jan-13 16:42:22

But if hes also getting a tablet-that can be his next bday present if OP wishes.

OP-if you want something else-tell him!

Sell the tablet if you don´t want it!

or post it to Germany

mercibucket Sat 05-Jan-13 16:33:02

That's such a lame argument, ohlimppricks. Because some other posters can't afford a tablet, the op should be happy she's getting one? We should all be happy we've got food and a roof over our heads and not bother posting about anything else then?

Did other people miss the bit where they're both going to get a tablet? He gets one for being special. She gets one for her joint b'day xmas present.

diddl Germany Sat 05-Jan-13 16:12:32

TBH, I don´t get the-"I spent so much, & he must also, I bought something & therefore he must"

If the tablet was essentially free, I´d be happy with a meal out.

I can´t spend for the sake of it.

If that makes me a tightarse, so be it!

OhlimpPricks Sat 05-Jan-13 15:43:51

OP, read some of the replies. Some of the people on here would 'love' a tablet.

Lucky lady, you want something and you are getting it. Is it really such an intrinsic part of the gift, how much was spent on it, and how your DP got it?

He knows you want it, and has thought of a way you can have it, without too much extra expense, thoughtful of saving money for the family as a unit. Would you rather he frittered away money, like some of the DP's on here?

The key to contentment? Wanting what you have, not having what you want.

fuzzpig Sat 05-Jan-13 15:06:39

The phrase "tighter than a badger's arse" springs to mind hmm

If this situation arose in our house/phone contracts etc, we'd think "hooray! We get free tablets" and then get each other different gifts (probably cheaper though)

There is no excuse for not even getting you a little box of chocolates though FFS.

I wonder if he was actually ever planning on getting you a tablet at all but then I'm a cynical cow.

diddl Germany Sat 05-Jan-13 15:05:41

Or even something-thongs aren´t my thing!

diddl Germany Sat 05-Jan-13 15:05:08

Sorry that should have been as an adult I´m not bothered about presents every year unless there happens to be somethong I really want.

Which atm is a tablet, but we can´t afford it.

diddl Germany Sat 05-Jan-13 15:03:46

He´s being mean.

But I so want a tablet I wouldn´t care tbh!

I also wouldn´t be bothered about another present just because I was getting the tablet for no extra cost.

I´m an adult-pressies don´t bother me every year.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 05-Jan-13 14:57:55

shock What an arse! That's really not on. You'd be getting the tablet anyway with your upgrade, it's not a gift from him. You're right to be upset about it sad, it shows selfishness and not giving a shit.

ChocHobNob Sat 05-Jan-13 11:02:12

I would be happy to get the tablet and save money! Would be nice if he then gets another present for the day though. Perhaps put the money he was going to spend on the tablet towards a night out for the two of you.

mercibucket Sat 05-Jan-13 11:01:45

oooh you can put it on business account too and put it on tax return!

well, sounds like dh is forgetting what he got for xmas/birthday. just tell him it'll count as his future xmas and bday gifts then too

and get yourself a better present from you to you - i got just what i've always wanted! (this tablet) needless to say dh immediately announced he's thinking of getting an ipad (so 300 quid more than my tablet and not for a birthday). told him where to go and did feel like a game of one upmanship.

HeathRobinson Sat 05-Jan-13 10:57:39

So DH got sat nav, greenhouse, football stuff and is getting a tablet. You get a tablet. Even ignoring the greenhouse it isn't fair is it? If you weren't bothered then no problem, but you are bothered. So something needs to be done.

^^ this.

OhlimpPricks Sat 05-Jan-13 10:53:41

You wanted a particular item for your birthday, you will be getting it.
Well done him for saving some money.
By the way you are listing everything you have given him sounds like you have some kind of expectation.
Those who give to receive will always be disappointed.

Astelia Sat 05-Jan-13 10:47:16

So DH got sat nav, greenhouse, football stuff and is getting a tablet. You get a tablet. Even ignoring the greenhouse it isn't fair is it? If you weren't bothered then no problem, but you are bothered. So something needs to be done.

I would have a think about something you would like or a show you would like to see or a restaurant you would like to visit and tell DH about it. Don't just fester and be a martyr as this won't solve anything. Be firm and fair- he can't argue with that.

FirstPersonPlural Sat 05-Jan-13 10:37:12

Ha ha! Wrapping up his tablet in October - that's brilliant Eternal!

FirstPersonPlural Sat 05-Jan-13 10:35:07

What phone deal are you upgrading to that comes with a free tablet? <nosey and wants a free tablet>

And no, however great a deal it is, that's not a valid xmas/bday pressie! I'd follow Elephant's advice - perfect plan.

WeAreEternal Sat 05-Jan-13 10:34:56

How can he consider that a birthday gift?

IIWM I would find something I want, that is worth the monitory value of the birthday gifts you bought him AND the missed Christmas present (plus ones from the kids (because he sounds selfish enough not to bother getting something from them either) and tell him that is what you want for your birthday.

And come October wrap his 8 month old tablet and give that to him. See how he likes it

pictish Sat 05-Jan-13 10:24:34

Well I think he's a mean spirited shit.

It's NOT a present. Yes, you are getting the tablet you wanted so that's fine. What about your birthday present though?

Don't get me wrong - I think adults making a fuss about birthday presents is daft....BUT in this instance, he got his prezzies and expects to renage on yours through some circumstancial happenstance!!

It's not about the present, but about the lack of effort and consideration.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Sat 05-Jan-13 10:18:10

Yeah I would say that too. Would definitely say "it's so great that we can both get tablets for free, that means you can stretch to x other thing that I need/would like for my birthday".

If he dodges that then definitely say (and stick to) the "well isn't that great we've sorted your present for birthday and Christmas this year" plan.

Softlysoftly Sat 05-Jan-13 10:08:47

He didn't even find the deal? He's piggybacking yours?!

He has tone joking surely? I'd be saying to him what pp said. "haha hilarious, can't wait to see my real gift"

ChrimboFascist Sat 05-Jan-13 09:54:31

Tight and selfish. Show him this thread, why don't you, and let him see what other people have to say about it. I think the real grabbiness is him wanting the same for himself. How much did you spend on him for Christmas and birthday? And he's effectively spending £0 on you. Nice.

AnneTwacky Sat 05-Jan-13 09:54:13

No he should get you something else for your birthday and something for Christmas as that doesn't count as a present.

Decide what presents you do want and tell him that as you will be paying for the "free" tablet through your contract, then these are the presents you want for birthday/ Christmas.

If he says no then tell him that his tablet will count as a present for his next birthday/ Christmas 2013 then.

WhateverTrevor Sat 05-Jan-13 09:53:02

Wow what a twat. What are you going to do or say to him?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now