Hi, I've been a lurker for a while and just now joining in with a gripe.
I'm a single parent with an eight year old daughter, live very near my parents but no other family or friends. When I work, I usually use a mixture of child-minder and extended services for child care, but neither are available during the Christmas holidays and so I rely on my parents, who agreed(not particularly graciously) to have her today, tomorrow and Saturday.
Because I was working at 7.30am this morning my Mum surprised me by offering to have my daughter overnight (she wouldn't usually). I dropped her off at 8pm last night, and collected her at 5pm tonight. When I collected her my mum said laughingly, she didn't get up until 11.40am. I thought she was joking and ha-ha'd no really when did she get up? really, she got up at 11.40am.
So, I was pretty shocked by this and said something like 'wow, she'll never go to bed tonight' I was peeved, and while I didn't say that I was, my face probably didn't look altogether impressed. My mother obviously sensed I wasn't finding it as hilariously funny as she was (I've had a tough day, I have an OU assignment to work on, I was picturing a nice early night for daughter, a bit of ou work, a glass of wine and bed for me...silly I know!) So she started screeching at me to find another baby sitter, she's doing me a favour so she'll decide what happens with DD, I'm ungrateful blah blah blah. So we left.
This isn't an unusual reaction from my mother. Most differences in opinion are met with withdrawal of help with the small amount of childcare I occasionally ask, a Peggy Mitchel style 'get outta my house' or a period of 'not speaking' from her. And we're talking silly differences, not major arguments. In fact anything where I don't agree explicitly with her. Such as thinking maybe that colour is a better match than the other colour. Mostly now I nod and agree.
I can probably just turn up in the morning with my daughter, drop her off, apologise and go to work. And suffer the silent treatment. I really wish I didn't have to but I'm left with little choice. But I'm wondering is it actually me? Is this reaction reasonable...because it doesn't seem to be to me. Is it hilarious for an 8 year old to stay in bed until midday? (there'd been no previous late nights, until that night...she didn't need the sleep) Is it unreasonable of me to think that even though she's being good enough to help out with childcare this week, it's a bit thoughtless to let my daughter sleep so late when she knows I'll be shattered tonight. Or that as her parent I should be able to say I didn't think it was the best idea? And am I being unreasonable to be pissed off at having the childcare favour constantly thrown in my face and used as a threat? I'm happy to accept it's me with the problem if needs be. Maybe I'm just a tired, narky cow :(
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To be annoyed by midday lie in?
46 replies
TaraFey · 03/01/2013 19:21
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