Taking on a rescue dog while TTC(20 Posts)
My friend has wanted a dog for a long time, but living in a small flat without a garden and having a job that involves a lot of overnight stays in Europe has stopped her until now. Her and her partner have just bought a house together, and she has immediately gone out and re-homed a German Shepherd from a rescue centre.
Now I'm a big advocate of re-homing rescue animals, and I think people who do this are to be applauded. I have rescue animals myself. However, my friend is also TTC. I can't help thinking that taking on a rescue dog at this time is irresponsible. Another friend has told me that most rescue centres will not place a dog with people who are TTC.
This dog has obviously already suffered abandonment and I worry what will happen if a baby arrives and it finds it is no longer the focus of attention in its lovely new home. It seems rather cruel. Not to mention the safety issues of having a large dog of uncertain history around a new baby.
Is my friend being unreasonable, or should I just be glad that this dog has a loving new home?
Well you never know, it might take a year for them to conceive. By that time the dog should hopefully feel part of the family and welcome a baby in to it.
Either way, it's not really any of your business.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I wouldn't do this, but I don't really know enough about it to comment.
If she was already pregnant I could see your point but she isn't, the dog has at least nine months to settle in as long as someone still walks the dog and fusses it when a baby arrives.
wait would be no different to any other family already with a dog having a baby.
It took me five years to concieve dd...
Ok I'm glad I posted. I'm clearly wrong to be concerned. Thank you.
That sounds like I'm being sarcastic! Not meant to. I'm reassured by the responses.
Not all rescue dogs have an uncertain history.
All of mine have been taken to the dog's home by their previous owners.
YANBU though...I wouldn't get a dog in your friend's position.
It's really none of your business. A lot of couples get a pet when they are first married and then go on to have children (my parents got two kittens, my BIL got a gorgeous dog). I've been ttc for two years and am planning on getting a cat soon. Not all pets are neglected when a child arrives.
It took me 4 1/2 years to concieve during that time we rescued a JRT he's still part of my family and always will be he gets lots of attention even now. To me its the same as having a child already and choosing to have a new baby sometimes the first child feels left out so you make time for them and show them you still love them. I will of course follow the usual precautions but just because I'm having a baby doesn't make the dog any less loved than he was before.
I think ur worry as a friend is lovely but the dog is now a part of the family and if they are anything like my family who call to my house to visit my dog and not me they will be fine!
You are a great friend to be thinking of your friends future.
YANBU. If the dog has an unknown history, has had patchy socialization, or has behavioural problems I think you are taking a big risk bringing into your home when young children are/will be around.
Maybe, as someone stated, the dog has known history, and the parents will be very good at keeping the dog separated from the children. But I have already thought about this myself, as I plan to have both dogs and children in the future, and I decided I am only comfortable having a dog that I've had raised from puppyhood when my children are young. When the children are older, a rescue dog can be a consideration.
I don't really understand why you're asking tbh, they've already got the dog and it's not really something you have any control over. Or were you thinking of doing similar yourself?
Btw we have a (large-breed) rescue dog who is fantastic with small children. He grew up with them in his previous home. We don't have kids yet (and may not in his lifetime, sadly, he's not getting any younger) but I would have no concerns about him in that area at all. Personally I think an adult dog who has proved themselves in a family environment is the safest choice if you have or plan to have children.
I got a rescue dog at 5 months pregnant. Best thing I ever did. Meant I had to go out daily for walks (still do obviously), and so kept me very fit during pregnancy. In fact, I went for a two hour hill climb at 38 weeks, had baby at 39 weeks!! We did have friends take her when I went into labour, and they had her for 4 days afterwards too which really helped.
Our dog came from a family with 5 children, so I knew that she would be ok around kids. She doesn't take much notice of the baby to be honest.
as wirh euro i know of loads of couples too who got a pet when got together then had babies soon after...
i would really think with caution too - i was a thread a long while back about a lady not sure about to adopt a dog as lived in a flat, loads of people said no - but lots of dogs ARE suited to a flat.
also in terms of being abandoned dont forget where they can rescues gives dogs out to foster homes, now a dog doesnt know thats his foster home - so you could say that could be adding to his abandonment - i would say - for any dog - being out of kennels is the very best thing - being with a loving family.
Well, the dog will have 9 months minimum to settle in. I think YABU. That said, the rescue home I got my dog from asked if we were planning to have kids any time soon, and if we had said yes they wouldn't have let us have him. But as many posters here are saying, it could take years for a baby to come along.
You could pass on some tips to her, though. My dog was very scared when my baby came home. He's a whippet x Staffie, rescue dog, had been a stray, rehomed to a family with small children who brought him back because he kept running away. We took him because he had lived with small children, and discovered that he only ran away because he hadn't had much exercise (he was pretty fat). Anyway, fast forward 5 years to DD coming home, and he was petrified of her. He howled and barked whenever she made a noise, high-pitched scared barking. He hated it when we bathed her and had to be shut out of the room. Mum was staying with us and she called a dog behaviourist
in between advising us to give him to PIL. The behaviourist said that he needed to start associating DD's cries with good things, so she said not to feed him his normal meal in the evening, but to get some really good treats (chicken/ham/cheese etc) and give them to him when she cried. In addition, whenever she cried, we had to make a huge fuss of the dog, saying 'what a good dog, come and get treats', feed him the chicken, and then make him do tricks so he was using his brain to focus on the trainer, not to worry about DD. It worked like a charm - he quickly calmed down and became much happier, but it was very hard-going. We were lucky Mum was staying, because she did the bulk of it to begin with while I and DH focused on the baby.
Now, he lets DD (now 10 months) poke him, pull his ears and tail and hang off his collar, and is completely passive. He brings her his ball to throw and hoovers up under her highchair. It took a lot of hard work to get here, though, and with a baby in tow, getting out in the rain for walks in winter is often the last thing I want to do.
Another friend has told me that most rescue centres will not place a dog with people who are TTC.
How would the rescue centre know, I have seen some down right bizarre caveats on rehoming forms but never asking about your sex life/family plans
we discussed this with a rehoming centre 2 years before dd1 was born. Sadly it still went wrong and the dog we'd rehomed got nervous and snappy when she started crawling. I would advise not to rehome a dog, but I'm sure many people have better luck than we, and our dog, did
Taking on a rescue dog while TTC
As long as they are not trying to conceive using the rescue dog it should be fine.
I am not kindly disposed to German Sheppards though.
We've had a German Sheppard do a shite on our doorstep every day this week. This morning the dirty bastard even let his dog do the same.
I think Battersea asked us if we were planning/expecting any babies! It's a bit of a personal question, but I can kind of understand their reasoning, as 'new baby' is a very common reason for dogs being returned or given up for rehoming. And of course some dogs are best suited to child-free homes.
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