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To be a traditional sahm ??

(864 Posts)
ProudMum4Eva Wed 02-Jan-13 22:16:39

I personal have never been flamed for my choice in life, however I see many people who continuously get some sort of insult for their life choices. So here I thought I would share all for the first time.
I am 34 years old I got married at 18 straight from college. I am happily married with five wonderful children who I adore and do everything for. I have NEVER worked (outside the family home) my DH has always worked. He works traditional hours leaves about 8:10 mon-fri and is home for around 5:30. I do everything in the home cleaning, cooking, bathing the younger children, ironing and so on. I dote on my children and my husband. I love it they do not need to help me in the house I look after them and that is what I am good at.

OrangeLily Wed 02-Jan-13 22:37:47

What's the point in this post?

firawla Wed 02-Jan-13 22:38:02

OP of course there is nothing wrong with it, its your choice and does not concern anyone else. I am the same as you married at 18 and as soon as I finished studying have had one child after the other (only got 3 though), dh works lot of hours so i end up doing most of it. Sure a lot of people are in the same position.
However if others prefer or need to work then each to their own.
There are people who will judge you for never working and just being a sahm but who cares really - if you are happy with it then let them think what they want

AmandaPayne Wed 02-Jan-13 22:38:51

How old are your children? I think all children should have responsibilities in the family - even if it is only my 3 year old helping put her cutlery on the table or tidying up her toys with me.

WorraLiberty Wed 02-Jan-13 22:39:08

Why can't kids be 'free' and enjoy helping their parents?

Traditionally this is how young people learn those skills.

I take it they're learning to read and write and yet they're still free to enjoy their childhoods?

OpenToPersuasion Wed 02-Jan-13 22:39:32

kilmuir, do you not think it was a very strange first post?

I'be seen posts similar to this before, and I'd heard, anecdoetally, that one of the plethora of reasons that some of those had posted was to cause a bunfight.

Obvis, it's not the case this time, but some posters may put 2 and 2 together and get hiusemaid's knee.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange Wed 02-Jan-13 22:39:53

That's great ProudMum4Eva except that one of their roles as children is to learn how to live in the world. That includes laundry, cleaning, cooking. How do they learn this if not from you? IMO it is the same as saying, "they are only children, why should they have to learn maths?". Because it is useful and a life skill. I will try to Google the studies that show that chores are good for kids... Unless the genius of MN knows where they live...

Busyoldfool Wed 02-Jan-13 22:40:26

And....? Are you asking to be flamed becasue you haven't been yet? Don't get what you are trying to do with this/

akaemmafrost Wed 02-Jan-13 22:40:36
dearcathyandclare Wed 02-Jan-13 22:42:45

Carry on enjoying being a SAHM but, and it is big but, do not do everything for your children as they need life skills like they need to be potty trained and also actively plan your return to work strategy. This may mean a return to education or volunteering.
Your time at home will go so fast you really should start thinking about your future now.

Pascha Wed 02-Jan-13 22:43:08

You ask if you are being unreasonable to be a SAHM? YANBU of course but in asking the question you sound insecure in your life choice. Can we help in any way?

::tilts head::

OliviaPeaceOnMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 02-Jan-13 22:43:10
garlicbaubles Wed 02-Jan-13 22:44:02

It would drive me fucking insane but, if that's the kind of challenge you enjoy, go for it. I'm not sure it's that clever to raise children who don't know how to look after themselves so, as you've made parenting your full-time job, perhaps you'll consider preparing them for life by dishing a few household responsibilities.

I hope your finances are independently secure smile

ProudMum4Eva Wed 02-Jan-13 22:44:06

Do you have your hair in a bun - erm sometimes wear a pinny not often go around the house holding a rolling pin nope not round the house grin.
I used the words traditional as that is how I see it but sorry if you found it incorrect.

ErikNorseman Wed 02-Jan-13 22:44:18

Kilmuir? Are you reading the thread? are you the op?
Nobody has attacked the OP. Nobody really cares, except the OP. dull thread.

BartletForTeamGB Wed 02-Jan-13 22:44:30

I am generally a SAHM at the moment and I even get my 2yo to 'help' (I use the word in its very loosest sense as I am sure it takes me longer to do things as a result!) me with chores. He thinks it is great fun at the moment, but he'll still have to do them when he realises they are not!

I also think it is really important for DH to have time to bond with his children. Yes, I am home during the day and consider keeping the house generally in order mainly my job (although I always vomit impressively when I am pregnant so most of it has fallen to DH of late), but bathtime is always DH's job when he gets home. I love that DH and DS have their own special time without me, both for my sanity at the end of a busy day and for their relationship.

WeWilsonAMerryChristmas Wed 02-Jan-13 22:44:51

my children do not have any jobs in our home. I believe children are only children for a short time and should be able to be free and enjoy it.

Doing chores and having responsibility around the home doesn't spoil childhood though, in fact learning to be independent enhances enjoyment IMO.

BartletForTeamGB Wed 02-Jan-13 22:45:31

Gosh, I did have my hair in a bun today.

AND DS and I wore aprons when we were cooking our dinner. He tells me off if we don't wear them!

But there were no rolling pins involved!

ProudMum4Eva Wed 02-Jan-13 22:46:34

Why will my children not be able to look after themselves?

Dinglebert Wed 02-Jan-13 22:47:52

lovelyladuree you sound delightful.

WorraLiberty Wed 02-Jan-13 22:48:01

Why will my children not be able to look after themselves?

Because you're not passing on the skills for them to do so.

Kids need (and mostly enjoy) responsibility...age appropriate of course.

Euphemia Wed 02-Jan-13 22:48:31

Who's going to teach them, if you do everything for them?

Fakebook Wed 02-Jan-13 22:48:38

Pah. And you call yourself a "traditional" sahm. You are a joke. A JOKE. wink.

WeWilsonAMerryChristmas Wed 02-Jan-13 22:49:26

Why do you think they will be able to look after themselves, if you don't teach them how to do it? I was pretty much left to bring myself up, but still made horrendous mistakes with money, cooking, boil washing all my pants etc when I left home. Looking after yourself is a taught skill, you don't learn it by osmosis.

archilles Wed 02-Jan-13 22:49:31

Some of us don't actually get to choose. Lucky you for getting a choice.

Just don't be too smug.

ProudMum4Eva Wed 02-Jan-13 22:49:57

BartletForTeamGB
Thank you for your honest input. My DC get lots of time with DH weekends and in the evening. It is just more games , story telling stuff rather than routine stuff like bath time and so on. smile

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