To think that my friend is being a bit rude?

(134 Posts)
awaiting2013 Mon 31-Dec-12 10:24:02

A few weeks ago I invited my friend over for NYE. We both have young children and not much cash so I asked her if she wanted to come over, bring the kids (let them sleep if she wishes) and spend NYE or part of it with us. Bring a bottle, let's have a drink and I'll knock up some food. She told me that since she had no plans, sounded like a good one. A few days ago I sent her an email asking if she was still coming over etc. and she said yes.

Imagine my surprise yesterday when I saw on her FB page that she was asking around as to who was available on NYE and if anyone wanted to go out for a meal and drinks on the town with her and her DH?

So I'm sitting here on NYE, just me and DH and the kids. Not too bothered as TBH not fussed about NYE. We need to save hard. However I am feeling a bit angry because my no. 1 NY resolution is not to be so fucking nice (sorry!) to people who are crap to me and my family and to not let people get away with crap behaviour.

AIBU to be a bit pissed off that my friend has not even bothered to say she is not coming over because she has hedged her bets and got a better offer?

pictish Mon 31-Dec-12 11:14:26

Actually...Shelby is right.

Text her "what time were you thinking of coming?"

Then wait.

Southeastdweller Mon 31-Dec-12 11:16:53

I would do what Pictish says, apart from the PM thing - call her instead.

Agree that she's hedging her bets and I appreciate that this hurts. She is being a complete tit.

<makes mental note to finally delete permanently from the dreaded Facebook this week>

Coconutty Mon 31-Dec-12 11:17:17

Text and say, phew, just got back from a massive shop for all our goodies for tonight, what time will you lot be here?

And then let us know what she replies!

TheWheelies Mon 31-Dec-12 11:17:41

Given what she's put on Facebook, how much do you still want to spend NYE with her? (assuming that she hasn't forgotten...)

pictish Mon 31-Dec-12 11:18:36

Oohhh coco I like it! grin

Binkybix Mon 31-Dec-12 11:18:46

I wouldn't Facebook for something likes this...if its a misunderstanding you look stupid, if it's not then you end up having a childish exchange. Just ring or text her. I can understand tat you find it hard, but you'll feel better for it.

JenaiMorris Mon 31-Dec-12 11:19:47

The OP invited this person round for NYE or part of it (sorry for repeating myself). The friend has not committed herself to staying all night, nor has she said she's not coming.

HollaAtMeSanta Mon 31-Dec-12 11:19:49

I wouldn't comment on FB.

I might "like" it though, just to let her know you've seen it and are plotting revenge

QuickLookBusy Mon 31-Dec-12 11:21:45

Jenai that's exactly why the op needs to text her and find out what's happening.

manicbmc Mon 31-Dec-12 11:22:06

Yes but, Jenai, wouldn't it have been good manners to let the OP know whether she was coming or not?

polkadotsrock Mon 31-Dec-12 11:22:07

Why sit around and wonder? Just ask her if she's coming or not. This would piss me off but my friends know that and do wouldn't do it.

TheWheelies Mon 31-Dec-12 11:24:06

JenaiMorris You're right, but the plan the OP hatched with her was for drinks and food. It's unlikely said friend plans on having two meals this evening.

QuickLookBusy Mon 31-Dec-12 11:27:23

I also think "part of the evening" refers to them spending the evening together then leaving before 12, if the dc are restless.

QuickLookBusy Mon 31-Dec-12 11:28:41

Pressed too soon.
So not actually a quick drink which would mean the guests can then leave to go and have dinner with someone else.

noblegiraffe Mon 31-Dec-12 11:35:10

All this speculation over what was meant could be solved in an instant by the OP asking her friend quite reasonably what the deal is with this evening!

JenaiMorris Mon 31-Dec-12 11:39:21

Exactly, noble!

InExitCelsisDeo Mon 31-Dec-12 11:39:34

But that would spoil the fun noble!

MoomieAndFreddie Mon 31-Dec-12 11:42:37

oh thats really mean of her shock

you have to say something, is there any chance she has forgotten <clutches at straws>

Anniegetyourgun Mon 31-Dec-12 11:44:23

You don't have to be rude or pushy or anything just to ask what's going on. In what way is it confrontational to ask what time someone intends to visit? A good friend would have no problem at all with you asking and would give you no grief at all when answering. However, it seems you're already expecting the answer to be something unpleasant. If there is a perfectly reasonable explanation, which there might be, then the sooner you know what it is the sooner you can stop this sort of predictive seething.

Nancy66 Mon 31-Dec-12 11:45:21

OP you're being a doormat.

Ring her. Ask if she's coming over. If she says 'no' then tell her you are pissed off.

People only walk all over people who lie down and let them do it.

digerd Mon 31-Dec-12 11:50:15

Nancy
Not always the case, and people who use others as doormats are not worth knowing.

stifnstav Mon 31-Dec-12 11:56:06

I don't think that there has been any forgetting going on.

OP checked with her friend a few days ago, friend confirmed.

OP has accounted for the kids being restless, hence the "part of the evening" bit.

Friend is using OP as a back up. Its downright rude.

I would do what Fakebook says. Post on her FB wishing her and the kids a good time. End of.

Then enjoy your evening without her. If she were to come over you wouldn't enjoy it knowing she wants to be elsewhere.

pictish Mon 31-Dec-12 12:02:07

I wouldn't want her over either. Under duress.
Fuck that.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Mon 31-Dec-12 12:02:39

Don't post anything on FB.

justmyview Mon 31-Dec-12 12:09:52

Don't use FB unless your aim is to draw attention to this and try to humiliate her. Better to send a text - "I saw on FB that you're planning to go out tonight, so I assume you're not coming here after all"

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