to want to stab this mum with a needle

(72 Posts)
meddie Sun 30-Dec-12 00:20:48

I work in nursing, today we had a family visit with their small child. who quickly became bored and started to act up a bit (like kids that age do). Mum turns to him and says "If you don't behave, that nurse will come stick a big needle in you"

I was shock

AIBU to want instead to stick the biggest needle I can find in the mum for failing parenting 101?

purpleloosestrife Sun 30-Dec-12 21:35:12

battling still fostering here - have a 9mo with me at the moment. grin

I wouldn't wish a fear of needles on anyone, though ( my DH is the biggest wuss) .....and it can't be easy for the nurses to deal with

BattlingFanjos Sun 30-Dec-12 20:26:32

Ok so its not so bad in the grand scheme of things and yes there are worse things that happen (horrific things) but surely it's still damaging to a child? Even in the slightest?

What an amazing thing to have done purple maybe the fact I have not been close to such things makes me more sensitive to the smaller things? I think its still control using fear and it crosses a line for me.

purpleloosestrife Sun 30-Dec-12 20:06:41

ok - I agree, it's definitely not a great comment, but in the big scheme of things is not so bad.

I have fostered babies who have had mothers who have left them vomiting blood all night at 4 mo, neglected to feed them, buy them clothes or even a cot, left them covered in their own and/or animal faeces.....the list goes on and on.....sad

pippinfluff Sun 30-Dec-12 17:35:03

Sorry but common sense? Whenever the poor thing has to have a vacination he will think his done something wrong. I know we all get stressed but really?

pippinfluff Sun 30-Dec-12 17:35:01

Sorry but common sense? Whenever the poor thing has to have a vacination he will think his done something wrong. I know we all get stressed but really?

BattlingFanjos Sun 30-Dec-12 16:34:46

I have had this for the first time ever today! Me and ds went shopping (for real healthy food not Christmas shite yay!) a woman walked past us and over a puddle with her (im assuming) ds. Literally through the puddle saying "don't jump in the puddle! Don't jump in the puddle! If you jump in the puddle and wet that lady (me) she'll punch you"

I just glared at her then said "no i wouldn't, but i wouldn't be very happy" and just smiled at the boy. My ds then says "Did you tell that lady you would punch that boy? That's just not nice Mummy!" grin

She was bang out of order, deal with your kids yourself don't be involving random strangers when you cant control your stress levels! Not bloody rocket science

Pagwatch Sun 30-Dec-12 16:32:44

Aw shucks.

grin

oh no pag, I am sure your face does not look exactly like a badgers arse

grin

Pagwatch Sun 30-Dec-12 16:29:40

grin

Pagwatch Sun 30-Dec-12 16:29:23

And also, if anyone wants to cry 'oh no pag, I am sure your face does not look exactly like a badgers arse' that would be fine. Really.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 30-Dec-12 16:28:16

That's how I used to feel sitting on the checkouts in Tesco I was like ' don't make me a baddy just because you can't control your child' and I suppose I decided there it was something I'd never do.

It used to happen in the library I worked in as well, do be quiet Olivia or the librarian will throw you out and it went against everything we were trying to do. As a childrens librarian I wanted to be seen as kind, approachable and fun not a fucking dragon.

X post, I concede smile

Yes, I get that, I think the police are slightly different, but nurses, strangers (who does that?!) in fact, no, you're right, it's not a good idea, and I honestly hadn't thought about it being confusing.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 30-Dec-12 16:24:03

Why confuse a child though? Why say police are there to help in one breath and they are going to get you in trouble with the next?

Pagwatch Sun 30-Dec-12 16:22:52

Sure, I understand using whatever works Alien grin
And there absoloutely are worse methods.

The only reaon I can't agree with you is that it forces someone who might think it is an awful thing to say to a child to be complicit iysim.

I personally think it's pretty shitty and have never used it, but i have been used by some passing stranger as a means to threaten their child. I have a face which in repose looks like a badgers arse so it has happened more than once.

So whilsts it's your choice and you know it's not a problem for you or your child, the person being made into the baddie has no choice. It's why I respond to it now and will say 'no, I won't tell you off. That's your parents job not mine. Do what you like'.
For years I just sat there feeling grrrrrrr...

Like I said, threats of any kind are not ideal, but in the moment, I forgive myself grin

No sorry I've thought about it, and I don't agree, my son knows police are there to help, he loves policemen, I am sure he also knows the copper isn't about to arrest a 4 year old, but just to see himself through the eyes of someone that he looks up to and respects, was enough to make him stop acting up.

Alligatorpie Sun 30-Dec-12 14:42:24

I live in eygpt and it is common for parents to tell kids they will take them to the doctor and give them injections if they are acting up. I have several students in my class who are terrified of going to the doctor for routine things like eye tests, or hearing tests.
I hate it when adults use other adults to threaten kids. Learn to discipline your kids by yourself!
Yanbu.

FreePeaceSweet Sun 30-Dec-12 14:38:57

Oh its just something a stressed parent says in the heat of the moment. Don't take it so seriously. My mum told me that the butcher would turn me into mince and chops if I didn't stop messing with the big plastic cow at the door. I looked up to see the butcher wielding a cleaver with a pretend grimace on his face. I wasn't scared of butchers then and I'm not now.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 30-Dec-12 14:34:44

I think it's awful to make children wary of people they might need help from. I can't stand hearing it 'look there's a policeman he'll get you in trouble you better behave' but what happens when that child gets lost or something and doesn't go to the police man for help in case they get in trouble? Lazy and confusing.

*I would feel fairly similar as I do hate when people use figures of authority as threats just to scare.

I'll ring daddy, that police man will lock you up, etc*

I don't get the big deal with this, Ok maybe not the needle thing, as you say, they will need injections at some pint. but my DS has been playing up in town before and I've seen a policeman and said 'look there's a policeman over there, you better behave' Can't see anything abusive in that TBH.
and no, I wouldn't have felt 'stabby' about the needle thing either, it's not ideal, not terrifying. meh.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 30-Dec-12 14:30:07

I worked in a supermarket when I was 18 and parents would constantly say to their kids 'behave or that lady will give you a row' and stuff like that. 'That lady' was also the one who walked up and down the aisles with lost children looking for their parents so best not make the kids scared of people.

Pagwatch Sun 30-Dec-12 14:26:31

You lot should behave or I will get Olivia to tell you off [ner]

OliviaPeaceOnMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 30-Dec-12 14:23:25

Peace and love

trapclap Sun 30-Dec-12 13:01:53

There are many ways to parent. Different kids respond to different approaches. Different situations require different approaches. Most parents have a full arsenal and don't rely totally on some rigid 'postive parenting' mantra or other made up crap

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