For telling 11 year old dd she can't come with us to see Les Mis?

(213 Posts)
Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 22:08:44

She turned 11 recently, still in primary school. Doesn't know about sex and stuff yet

From reading an American guide for parents website it seems the film shows fantine selling herself in a bit more detail (apparently it shows the man lowering her top, thrusting then leaving after paying)

Dd has friends at school who have been to see 12a films and indeed we have let her watch certain 12 dvd's (hairspray, Star Wars Harry potter etc)

Am I being a prude?

specialsubject Sat 29-Dec-12 22:09:39

At 11 I hope that she does know the basics about sex.

more the issue is 'does she want to sit through a very long movie?'

I saw the stage show at 11 and bawled my eyes out. Sounds like the film is a bit more explicit though, which is a shame.

An 11yo doesn't know about sex? I find that pretty shocking.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 22:11:52

She's seen the stage show.

cuttherope Sat 29-Dec-12 22:12:34

She doesn't know about sex??

Has she never asked how babies are made?

DragonMamma Sat 29-Dec-12 22:13:15

YANBU purely based on the fact it'll be better watched without a youngster in tow.

I booked my tickets for opening night before Xmas and I can't wait.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 22:13:42

Why shocking?

At school in phse they have just been covering puberty and body changes. They get a tampon talk sometime next term

Sex is covered in high school

The ad has just come on again - I have goose bumps, can't wait. Hope it isn't bad.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 22:14:44

Dd is a complete Musical theatre nut.

NilentSight Sat 29-Dec-12 22:15:04

DD knows how babies are made but there is no way that I would knowingly allow her to watch a film which had any hint of prostitution or sexual violence.

Fairylea Sat 29-Dec-12 22:16:37

Unless your dd has been in a cupboard I would say she knows about sex even if you think she doesn't..... the others at school will have told her or talked about it. My dd knew the basics from well before then!!

NotInMyDay Sat 29-Dec-12 22:16:41

Sorry but I find your comment about 'sex is covered in high school' a bit odd. confused

It shouldn't be the school teaching her this. It should be you.
Age appropriate and without embarrassment.

I wish my mum had been more open.

SrirachaGirl Sat 29-Dec-12 22:18:14

I'm going to take my 11 year old DD next week. She knows all the basics and we've talked about prostitution before (after watching a documentary that mentioned impoverished sex-trade workers). I'm not sure it's a conversation I'd want to have in the theatre though, tbh. Perhaps you could talk about the story with her before hand?

Hulababy Sat 29-Dec-12 22:18:17

Sex Ed including intercourse is in Y6 PHSE I think.
Puberty and Periods etc in Y5.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 22:18:53

I don't think she has any need to know about sex just yet. She's very young in attitude.

Which is why I think the film isn't going to be suitable.

VivaLeBeaver Sat 29-Dec-12 22:19:07

Sex is covered in primary school never mind secondary school. I'm sure they have sex ed in year 6.

Then there will be kids like my dd who know about sex, childbirth, etc by year six and tell everyone else!

Fakebook Sat 29-Dec-12 22:19:08

Does it matter if an 11 year old knows how babies are made or not? I wouldn't let my dd watch a sexual scene at that age.

Clary Sat 29-Dec-12 22:19:14

Yes I agree I cannot imagine any NT 11yo not knowing a bit about sex. How have you not had this conversation?

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 22:20:20

Not at dd's school hula. They follow their own programme. Puberty year 6. Sex year 7.

ZZZenAgain Sat 29-Dec-12 22:20:32

entirely up to you whether you think it is appropriate for your dd

Hulababy Sat 29-Dec-12 22:22:02

I would think she probably knows more than you think tbh - playground talk will most likely cover it from time to time ime.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Sat 29-Dec-12 22:22:04

I can't believe she doesn't 'know' about sex at 11.

My sen ten year old knows about sex, I didnt think she does but after a conversation tonight I was suprised how much she did know.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 22:23:05

In the stage show it goes a bit over their heads in lovely ladies as you don't actually see anything other than a bit if flirting.

Dd was in a show recently that had prostitutes in (but not in her scenes). She never questioned what they were (she was a lead part do had a full script)

Nixea Sat 29-Dec-12 22:23:11

"She's very young in attitude" are the exact words my mum used to describe my sister with when she was that age. At 13 she came home pregnant. Now I'm not saying that age appropriate safe sex knowledge would have been enough to prevent it, but it would have at least meant she knew there were options.

I find the idea that an 11 year old has had no guidance from their parent about sex really concerning actually.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now