Mumsnet Talk

I would never have thought I would be posting this, I am easy to please!

Me and DP have been together for 3 years, we have had a really crap year together. We relocated for his new (well paid) job and I have struggled to find one. I got a christmas job in retail and worked my butt off to be able to afford presents for him. He wasn't short of expensive suggestions for himself and I got him some really lovely presents. I spent about £100 overall from my wages- which has been a lot for me. I havn't bought anything for myself for a good 6 months- even crippled myself in heels for work as I couldn't afford flat shoes.

He is working today so I am at my parents. I have opened his presents:
-2 bottles of mulled cider
-a box of tea
-a single electric blanket

I am 23 not 83. We live in a mild area of the country, I just dont NEED one. I also know his mother paid for it as he said "he couldnt afford all of it by himself" (that got my hopes up it was a nice treat for me!!

He wrapped it up click and collect packaging and all. Hadnt even bothered to open it to make sure it was the right thing. Price was left on, £39.95. A couple of months ago he thought nothing of buying a £300 leather jacket for himself.

AIBU to just have wanted something pretty and nice for myself?

In light of his "expensive" suggestions that is shit. What did you get him?

Tell him you want to return the single electric blanket, couldn't he have splashed out on a double!

My daughter is 23 and I'd be having a quiet word with her, not only about the crap presents but about relocating when there's no chance of a good job for yourself and then again about being in a relationship where the man has money and the woman doesn't have a pair of shoes.

You do realise the world is full of lovely, lovely men, don't you? I have a son who's 20 and he would NEVER treat a girl like that. (He's single too, so let me know if you're interested!!)

Did you give him any suggestions?

not only about the crap presents but about relocating when there's no chance of a good job for yourself and then again about being in a relationship where the man has money and the woman doesn't have a pair of shoes.

^^ This

That really does sound rubbish. However, electric blankets are marvellous and you will come to love it.

Billy-He became obsessed with an expensive wool throw. To the point that he got stroppy when I pretended I hadn't got it (as you do at christmas), he threatened to go down there and buy it for himself. I thought it was hideous and a waste of money, but I coughed up more for it that his presents to me all together. He also guilt tripped me into doing him a stocking, which I filled with lovely thoughtful things.

It just says something to me that he couldn't think of anything to get his young girlfriend, surely I'm supposed to be getting sexy underwear or something!! Primark would've been fine.

Rubbish presents - very thoughtless. Red flags here (with the spending on himself) I would think hard about whether you want to stay with a man like this.

Now you can add poor taste to the other red flags that are hurtling around! Think of the hideous throw - can you imagine buying a house together and choosing furnishings?

I agree with magic

Doesn't sound good to me

He sounds like a selfish, spoilt brat.

What will you do?

If he's working today is there a chance there may be more gifts which he wants to be there when you open?

Oh no, no, no.

Agree with others. Big Red flags. Pay attention to them. Do not ignore or justify.

Do not waste more time or energy. Move on. Immediately.

Hmm, could he have kept some presents back to give you in person?

Ducks- I've sent him a message thanking him but saying "I can't believe you couldn't think of anything more exciting for a young girlfriend than an electric blanket. I'm 23 not 83".

God, I know I sound so horrible right now. In previous years he has got me beautiful (not expensive) jewellery and lovely clothes. This just adds to the feeling I've had for a while that he just doesn't give a crap about me...

I have felt so rough for the past couple of days, I've slept most of today. I'm already feeling sorry for myself and this has made it worse.

Definitely nothing at home!

You say he is working- any chance that your 'real' present is something that you can open together later, not something to open with your parents?

If not, then I would be pretty annoyed, some people aren't great at buying presents but he is showing real double standards if he wants his expensive gifts from you.

I'm sorry, but some people here resemble Pollyanna! Of course there isn't anything else for the OP! He's given her his (crap) presents; it's obvious there's nothing else.

OP, 2013 is a new year. Why not make it the year you get away from this man?

As you put effort into selecting lovely thoughtful gifts for a stocking for him, any of those you can subtly reclaim as time goes on? He can keep yucky throw all to himself. It does sound one-sided. The trouble is some people are good at getting what they like in life and making you feel honoured and special for giving.

Dump him. Before the New Year.

YANBU-Greatful

I am really laid back and easy to please but WTAF?

Sorry but I'm just at the lack of thought and him getting you a joint present (shite) from his DM

He should be keeping you warm at night, not a sodding electric blanket

My very first LTB

How old is dp?

Hugo- 10 years older, but I'm mature and he seems younger.

His mother even ordered it to our local Waitrose for him to pick up. She had to nag him to get that as he forgot. So his grand sum of effort for me for christmas was buying a box of tea and bottles of cider. I feel so loved.

What.the.fuck?!

No you are not being unreasonable. You are not being ungrateful either.

He is a thoughtless,selfish,self centred, dickhead mummy's boy.

I would be crushed if my DP did that. though he came close the year he bought me a clothes rail as a birthday present amongst other more normal presents

Not surprised-Older man who acts younger, it's a bit of a cliche.

Sorry to say, you need to start taking care of yourself find a job that you like, where you like to live and get on with your life with or without him, but on your own terms.

Try and enjoy the rest of christmas.