AIBU and V precious about dd2 going unrecognised at school?

(79 Posts)
TheSecondComing Thu 13-Dec-12 14:24:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yes go into the school and tell them that your dds reception class is a fairly low acheiving group. They won't think you are a fucking loooooon or dead pushy, they will just think you are outrageously rude.

Oh I get pissed off about this too. My dd hasn't had a certificate since year 1 (year 2), she's also one of the bright ones. I don;t undertstand how it's worked out but the same names do tend to crop up. YANBU - but our children are clearly above such things wink

Festivedidi Thu 13-Dec-12 14:33:58

I think if it was me I might be tempted to mention to the teacher that the Christmas list was written by your dd. She may genuinely not know this and if it is a lot better than the usual standard her friend is producing then it would be entirely normal to praise this friend.

Is your dd bothered though? If she is, i would mention it, if not then I wouldn't.

Pancakeflipper Thu 13-Dec-12 14:35:24

The piece of work recognised yesterday is unfortunate. The teacher took it as the other kid's work and neither kid corrected them and the teacher may have been impressed at the other kid's perhaps greatly improved standard and sent it on for extra praise as assembly.

Maybe if they knew it was actually your daughter's it wouldn't have made the assemble because they expect that standard of work from her?

I forget the Christmas list incident.

I would start making a mental note on the ways your child is or is not getting praise - what systems the school use ( stickers, merits, weekly award etc) and perhaps have a word at the next parents evening?

I am not one for " ooh my child is wonderful." BUT my DS1 is a quiet happy get on with it kid. He never won any reward thing in his reception year and this included merits, weekly awards etc. All his reports and parents evenings were glowing. But he was under the radar of the teacher.

In year 1 I did have a chat to his teacher who didn't make me feel stupid or awkward and instantly said he was the reliable get on with it kid. And they made more effort with him and he blossomed.

carocaro Thu 13-Dec-12 14:37:32

Eeeks!!! I was all for you, until the last paragraph, 'low acheiving cohort' - that is not at all nice and exceeding horribly judgemental. You can't possibly know where all the other children are up to with their education, you daughter may have got it quickly, others take longer, it does not mean in anyway they are a 'low cohort' My DS2 is in Y6 and took longer than average to learn to read and write but is on track to get 5 & 6's when he leaves.

Maybe she's a bit of a know it all and tries to tell everyone what to do and how to do it and the teachers are trying to make her a little more humble before her acheivements are acknowledged.

If you went in and moaned about the other child, you are a shoo in for loon/pushy parent, however, if you feel she is being overlooked, which I doubt, do mention it. At our school we have star of the week, and they all get it eventually as they are only so many weeks in the school year, so some have to wait longer than others to get it, so just remember that alledegely near the top of the class does not mean she should be top of the list, as other factors count to being star of the week eg: kindness, good play, good friend etc etc.

We are only half way through the year, calm down dear!

TheSecondComing Thu 13-Dec-12 14:39:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pancakeflipper Thu 13-Dec-12 14:42:29

It bothered my DS1 too, otherwise I wouldn't have known either. I was oblivious the the methods of rewards until he filled me in with the details and then my close mate whose daughter is in his class added in some others.

TheSecondComing Thu 13-Dec-12 14:44:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Welovecouscous Thu 13-Dec-12 14:46:06

It's not uncommon to not be reading yet in reception. Doesn't mean the other children are 'low achieving'. confused Statistically early readers are often overtaken later.

upstart68 Thu 13-Dec-12 14:48:31

Hi tbh I'd just leave it.

She won't be the only one who's not been recognised in this way and whilst a mistake has been made, it really isn't worth making a fuss about it.

Her time will come. We waited a long time for our dd to be rewarded and suddenly she was rewarded three weeks in a row.

Save bothering the teacher for something more serious.

You are only a term into reception. If it were still happening this time next year, then I'd probably say something to the teacher.

Hobbitation Thu 13-Dec-12 14:49:29

They usually give as many of them as possible a chance to be Star of the Week or whatever, I'm sure DD will get her chance to shine. DD1 was moaning about not being Star of the Week yet, others are getting it for "improving", but she can't improve as she tries her best all the time! Then last week she was. I'd let DD explain about the piece of work to the teacher. What did the teacher say about her at parents' evening? It takes time for each teacher to know a child as an individual. If she is far ahead of the others it won't go unnoticed, I assure you.

My DS is dyslexic and has to work 10 times as hard to acheive half as much as most of his classmates so him and the other children like him probably do get more recognition for 'less work' in the eyes of parents like you.

You are being very rude about a class of 4 year old children. I'm sure your daughter is just fantastic but it doesn't mean the rest of the class are low acheivers.

Festivedidi Thu 13-Dec-12 14:51:46

Could it be that they know she's quiet and think that singling her out in assembly would upset her. It would have upset my very quiet dd when she was in reception, she would have cried about everybody looking at her. She did want recognition but in a quieter way rather than announce it to everyone. Do they praise your dd in other ways?

carocaro Thu 13-Dec-12 14:53:13

How do you know only 2 other kids can read? The information is P&C, I'd be more concerned about how you got that knowledge, you can't possible know that. I am sure she gets lots of praise in the classroom setting and that should not be discounted, but will you only be happy with the all singing and dancing kind? What did they say about her at parents evening? Good I presume, why does this naot make you happy?

Again, eeeks, with your attitude.

WorraLorraTurkey Thu 13-Dec-12 14:56:37

Just leave it

She'll get her certificate and clap eventually.

It's only December and if they only have these assemblies every 2 weeks, they haven't had that many yet..considering the school year only started in September.

*FYI
Not being stealthy etc but dd is way ahead of her classmates (think they're a fairly low achieving cohort iyswim and dd2 is at the other end of the scale) this is nothing to do with me, she's just 'got it' quickly iyswim??? *

Sorry, you killed it with this last paragraph!

pigletmania Thu 13-Dec-12 14:57:38

I was agreeing with you op right until the last paragraph. I was one of those 'low acheivers' at primary school, a bit backward, ff 20 odd years I have a good degree and a good Msc an will hopefully do a doctorate in the future. That means nothing.

You get a group of adults you don't know who read at 2 or who read at 9, r who potty trained at 18 months or 4 years. Makes no difference how their like as adults. I would just leave it and wrk on a bit of humility

JustinBoobie Thu 13-Dec-12 15:00:49

our school makes absolutely sure all children are 'awarded' at assembly - especially at that age.

I'm sure her time will come.

Re low achievers in reception...my DS started school a week after he turned 4 and when he came out of reception year he still couldn't read or write etc etc so I suppose you could have said he was a lower achiever at that time.

He is now in year 6 and his reading/writing is well about average so really, low achievement in reception is a load of bollox anyway.

Just saying!

higgle Thu 13-Dec-12 15:01:27

My eldest son went to a school where only children from particular families ever got recognition, and we were constantly told by the deputy head that her daughter ( in the same class but put up a year, which I had to fight for for my son) was far brighter than him. He got his recognition in the end - school prizes in all subjects at secondary school and an Oxford place. I do believe little miss perfect has not had such a good outcome. Karma!

TheSecondComing Thu 13-Dec-12 15:04:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonkeysInTheStableAtMidnight Thu 13-Dec-12 15:05:25

Blinking a little at "fairly low achieving cohort" but no I don't think it's unreasonable to hope your DD has consistently good work recognised as much as another child's outstanding beyond-the-usual effort. When does term end, might she yet get singled out?

As to whether I'd mention it, if by February half term there's still no moment in the spotlight for her, yes I'd ask. Boost her confidence at home, in the meantime.

My dd has been in her current school with the same teacher (they carried her over) since March last year and has not once been star of the week.

She is a LOW achiever.

Its hammering her confidence.

Teacher says they do star of the week by house points, dd is sen and forgets to put hers on, its infuriating

pigletmania Thu 13-Dec-12 15:10:50

Oh no whistling that is awful. I would have a word with the teacher to help her put the points on

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