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To think I wasn't in the wrong here?!

(179 Posts)
PenguinBear Tue 11-Dec-12 18:49:40

We sometimes have the little children over the road to play while their mum does the shopping/ has a rest etc. I know she is using me as free child care as DP loves to remind me but my dc love her children so I don't mind having them. This has been going on a couple of years now but they are no bother so it's all good. Their father works from home but I usually only see their mum.

She is currently pregnant and wanted to go with her DH to buy some baby stuff at the weekend so asked if we could have the children for the day. 

I foolishly said yes and we had them for about 8 hours (much longer than expected). I tried to ring but they were 'stuck' in London. hmm
We ended up all going out for dinner in the evening so took them with us, dropped them home, all was well so I thought.

One of them left some bits at our house so I have just dropped them over and her DH answered the door and proceeded to tell me off for letting his children have ice-cream.  I felt like saying well come back when you said you would. They never told me not to let them have ice-cream and it was only a small child's portion after their pizza dinner at a local Italian. 
AIBU to be annoyed? I did them a favour imo and feel like I won't bother next time which is a shame as the children are lovely

Sorry for the long post, thanks if you got to the end!

Viviennemary Thu 13-Dec-12 18:11:34

What a nerve unless her children were diabetic or something and you would have known this anyway. I wouldn't do her any more favours. Ungrateful well won't say it by you know what I mean.

SDTGisAChristmassyWolefGenius Thu 13-Dec-12 18:00:22

That's the Hit Squad, expat.

Our motto - We bollock them for you - wholesale!

expatinscotland Thu 13-Dec-12 17:44:24

I'm going to start a business for people who 'don't like confrontation'. I'll do the confronting for them.

DontmindifIdo Thu 13-Dec-12 16:37:00

I have just been given some second hand maternity combat trousers (yes, really), here was I thinking I'd not have much use for them, and now I get to be in the hit squad!

I'm happy to go tell cheeky buggers to cut it out and start being grateful.

fromparistoberlin Thu 13-Dec-12 16:34:38

what astelia said, so delicately

dont let this pass, say something

cheeky cxxt!

<<dons combat gear to join T Hit Squad>> grin

I have Big Tits and am not afraid to use them...

On a more serious note, I do wonder what goes on in that house/relationship... and yes, the poor au pair!

I have been known to come up with all sorts of witty, acutely observed put-downs wrt to many an awkward situation in my life - but usually minutes/hours/days AFTER the event. I don't think there is any need to give the OP a hard time for how she reacted at the time, but I'd delight to be part of a well planned future strategy grin.

I hope you have not apologised today?!

SDTGisAChristmassyWolefGenius Thu 13-Dec-12 16:02:13

The more, the merrier, DublimMammy!

DublinMammy Thu 13-Dec-12 15:42:30

I have a Steel Fanjo and, er, I'm not afraid to use it - can I join the Hitsquad????

Hobbitation Thu 13-Dec-12 15:21:10

I'd have asked him what the fucking hell else I was supposed to do with the children. Leave them on the doorstep while we went out for dinner? Let my own kids eat ice cream in front of them?

Stupid twat.

NorksAreTinselly Thu 13-Dec-12 15:13:51

i would like to apply for the TIT SQUAD grin

I want to join a 'Hit squad'! grin

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 13-Dec-12 13:06:10

Speechless at his cheek, the miserable sod!!!blush

Atthewelles Thu 13-Dec-12 13:02:45

God help the poor Au Pair. If he thinks he's entitled to speak so rudely and ungratefully to someone who's doing him a favour, imagine how he'll treat someone he's actually paying to help look after his children. I predict she won't last very long.

lovesmellingthecoffee Thu 13-Dec-12 11:33:31

I can see that you are doing some of this childcare because it suits you because your children enjoy their childrens' company.
BUT be aware that one day when next door have someone else more convenient to use or their circumstances change you will be suddenly left with no company for your kids. And you will have to deal with your kids asking where Yoko and Bono are, why can't they come and play anymore and you won't be able to do a thing about it. So my advice is find some new friends for your kids and preferably with parents who reciprocate the friendship. because next door certainly don't care about you or your kids one bit.
And as for lady next door not coping, well I think she is coping just fine, she has found free on tap childcare.

SDTGisAChristmassyWolefGenius Thu 13-Dec-12 10:36:21

I agree. Just until they admit how twattish/unreasonable they have been, and promise to mend their ways.

I wonder if it is too late to ask dh for a taser for christmas? grin

ENormaSnob Thu 13-Dec-12 10:12:30

I could totally join a hit squad SDTG.

We could have tasers and batons.

Some people deserve a good tasering.

SDTGisAChristmassyWolefGenius Thu 13-Dec-12 10:07:48

On another thread (about visitors to a mumsnetter's house taking the piss massively) I suggested the formation of a MN Hit Squad, which would tour the country dealing with people like this man for mumsnetters in need. It is so much easier to be frank and direct when you are not personally involved a situation, and we could use that to our mutual advantage, and deal out massive bollockings Stern Talkings-To wherever they were needed.

All applicants gratefully received!

And Mumsnetters In Need sounds like it needs some sort of fundraising Telethon too - to keep us in winebrewbiscuit, chocolate and steel toe-cap boots! grin

Gipfeli Thu 13-Dec-12 09:47:05

You did nothing wrong. He is an idiot. Personally I would ignore it (after ranting about it to DH) and carry on having the children over if it was convenient and my kids were happy. Not their fault. Nor their mother's.

But I'd definitely be giving them more ice cream. More than usual. And cake. Possibly every visit.

SirSugar Thu 13-Dec-12 09:29:12

Maybe her H is a controlling cunt and she wouldn't have minded them having Ice-cream?

ProfYaffle Thu 13-Dec-12 09:19:51

I hope you're not going to do any more babysitting, even if you don't confront them.

I was in a similar, though not as extreme, situation. I didn't want to do a big confrontation as I live in a small town and these things can come back and bite you. So every time I was asked for childcare I'd say I needed to check my diary ("That date sounds familiar, I may be doing something, I'll have to check"). Then I'd text/e-mail back saying that I couldn't do it as I was busy ("sorry, I was right, we're busy that day."). Never explain why because they'll just try and find a way around it. After doing this about 4 times I was unceremoniously dropped by the childcare requesters - thank fuck!

Now we're just polite to each other if our paths cross in the street and no more. No nastiness, no big show down, no more childcare.

Not defending the dad in any way ,shape or form

Maybe the problem with the ice-cream was it was quite late? (My DD can drink anything and be fine but if she has ice-cream she goes to the loo about 3 times in 30 minutes).
Maybe he was worried about the DC weeing at night but was a bit embarressed to tell you?So it came out as a tirade?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just be very busy next time they ask you. I had to do this with a school friend of my DC .There were lots of playdates at my house, but not the other way. Me doing the pick-up and drop off.Then one incident that just broke the camels back.

I was a bit hmm to say "No, it's not fair.I'm not doing it"
So kept saying "We're busy. I can't"

Even then there was no invite to their house.
So

Do it. Be busy.
She might need you when the baby is born.If you help her then she'll appreciate it.
But if YOU decide.

I really think you ought to say something.

Astelia Thu 13-Dec-12 09:01:36

Jesus op, you might as well bend over and take it up the shitter from these 2

my sentiments precisely

ENormaSnob Thu 13-Dec-12 08:51:32

Jesus op, you might as well bend over and take it up the shitter from these 2.

You are being used and abused.

WelshMaenad Thu 13-Dec-12 08:50:12

If she can't cope with her two, why the actual fuck is she having another one?

OP you sound lovely but you are being a doormat. Tell them to duck off to the far end of fuck if they ask you to have the kids again. What a pair if entitled twats

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