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AIBU?

I absolutely wasn't, was I?

65 replies

hazleweatherfieldgirldetective · 11/12/2012 16:52

I recently volunteered to help out with my local girl guide group and last night was my first meeting with them. At the start they all played a game where one leader would call out a statement followed by an instruction such as 'if you have brown hair, move four chairs to the left'.

This went on for a while and in the end, the other leader was running out of suggestions, so the girls got a bit silly and started shouting out their own. One girl shouted 'Move one chair right if you're American!' to which the leader laughed and said 'No one here is American X!'. Another little girl, with a strong north-easter accent piped up 'I'm American!'.

'Yeah right! And I'm Japanese!' Responded the leader, placing her fingers at the corners of her eyes and pulling them tight cue much raucous laughing from the girls and the leader.

At this point I interjected, and told the girls it wasn't very nice to laugh at an entire ethnic group because of a physical feature. The girls went quiet, the other leader glared at me viciously, there was a short pause and the game continued.

I doubt very much I will be allowed back. But I wasn't being unreasonable, was I?

OP posts:
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hettie · 11/12/2012 16:53

no

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MadSleighLady · 11/12/2012 16:54

Nope. Well done for saying something, I'd have been too Shock

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firawla · 11/12/2012 16:54

no you're weren't, thats quite bad

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Chelvis · 11/12/2012 16:55

Did you say you went to a girl guide group or 1910? because that was about the last time that sort of thing was socially acceptable. My God!

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JamieandtheMagiTorch · 11/12/2012 16:56

Ywnbu

You were quite right to challenge it, many would not have done so. I suspect it will not have gone down well because the leader will have felt embarrassed, but then if you'd raised it with her later - would she have apologised to the troupe and explained why it was wrong? Possible I suppose but maybe not.

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hazleweatherfieldgirldetective · 11/12/2012 16:56

I know, I couldn't believe it. This is supposed to be a nice, Christian group. I assumed those in charge of the girls would be a teensy bit more sensitive. I don't for a second think she intended to cause any offence, however, that doesn't stop it from being horribly offensive.

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peeriebear · 11/12/2012 16:59

I'd find that a bit uncomfortable too!
I kept DD1 off Brownies once when they were supposed to dress as homeless people for "a tramps' party" Hmm It wasn't even in a Dickensian way.
Brown Owl even suggested that they could 'cut up old clothes' yes, because homeless people walk around in tattered rags...

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Purple2012 · 11/12/2012 17:09

Good on you for challenging it. That's pretty bad behaviour, especially in front of impressionable kids that could then go on to repeat it somewhere else.

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CheeseandPickledOnion · 11/12/2012 17:15

Awful. And then leaves some poor parent wondering where on earth their child got such awful ideas from.

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meboo · 11/12/2012 17:26

Your first night and you challenge the Leader in front of the girls???? I personally don't think that is acceptable and that you should have spoken to the leader separately. Somehow I don't think you will be going back.

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MadSleighLady · 11/12/2012 17:31

There are some things that should always be publicly challenged no matter how much of an authority figure they come from.

In fact if anything it's more important to publicly challenge an authority figure on stuff like this. The people they're in charge of will follow their lead.

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Sallyingforth · 11/12/2012 17:33

You certainly weren't. Well done!

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Narked · 11/12/2012 17:34

Well done.

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Groovee · 11/12/2012 17:36

:-( I'd be horrified if another guider did this!

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BerryChristmas · 11/12/2012 17:37

Oh FFS - the sooner we all look the same, talk the same, and act the same the better.........then no-one will have anything to moan about !!!

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Brodicea · 11/12/2012 17:39

Well done you for speaking out! Here here MadSleighLady

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phantomnamechanger · 11/12/2012 17:40

Hmm, tricky.
She was bang out of order, and I speak both as a guider and parent in thinking that should not have happened, or be seen in any way as acceptable.
But how to handle it is tricker - you have created an uncomfortable atmosphere now, so it is unlikely that she will welcome you back, apologise and publicly tell the girls she was in the wrong. More likely that they will be laughing about you behind your back - do you remember that helper we had once....
Whereas by simply not laughing, and then explaining if/when someone asked you, you could have stayed involved with the group and offering another adult POV in situations like this, showing a better example - maybe even some of it rubbing off on the other leader.
Depending on how you feel about making waves and how keen you really are to volunteer, you might consider contacting the division commissioner about it - but then again this person is a known, and may have many friends in guiding who will back her against a newbie. Difficult :(
On the plus side, maybe one of the girls took to heart what you said, and was only going along with the laughing to fit in?

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pregnantpause · 11/12/2012 17:40

NU at all! I don't care of she was the leader and it was your first time- that is irrelevant, racist behavior should be challenged wherever possibleAngry good for you for setting a good example to the children in your care!Smile

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BoffinMum · 11/12/2012 17:41

No, something needed saying. I think that leader is stuck in the 1970s.

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pingu2209 · 11/12/2012 17:42

Well done you for speaking out!

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SledYuleCated · 11/12/2012 17:43

BerryChristmas Would you like to elaborate on your comment?

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TheCortanaThatStoleChristmas · 11/12/2012 17:51

YY MadSleighLady!

YADNBU and well done. Takes some courage to challenge someone like that with an audience when they are in a perceived role of authority. Good on you.

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SageStuffingYourOrifice · 11/12/2012 17:55

I think you were right to challenge & publicly because to not say anything makes you complicit. Just because something might make waves & leave you feeling uncomfortable, it shouldn't put you off doing it. Yes you're possibly not going to be welcomed back but would you want to work alongside a guider who holds such dated (and racist) views? I wouldn't want my daughter to be in her pack!

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goralka · 11/12/2012 17:57

well done OP Thanks there is too much of this .....behaviour....that goes unchallenged.

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toomuchturkeyatendofthedinner · 11/12/2012 18:03

I agree, well done for challenging this thoughtless racist action. I hope you get to go back ...

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