ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
AIBU to refuse to babysit?(59 Posts)
As in title?
I live with my BiL, SiL and 2 DNs, as well as wifey and MiL.
DNs are 4 and 1. Pains in the neck though they can be, I love them.
However, a family thing has come up, and it wouldn't be appropriate for either I (being foreign and not related) or the nephews (being too young) to go to, so the suggestion is that I babysit them.
I really don't want to, for the simple reason that I would have no idea what to do if there was any problem. I have no siblings or cousins of similar age, and I have never been around kids before.
I think SiL is silly to think it is a good idea to leave them with me for what will be about six hours.
How far away is the event the others will be at?
What time of the day is it?
Barcey, I have explained that.
FredFredGeorge, it isn't that I don't want to help out. I quite often play with them on Sundays, and when they are older, I will be happy to do this sort of thing. The possible language problems when phoning ambulances are just an example - I wouldn't want to call the emergency services out for something that turned out not to be a problem. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to fail to call them because I thought something wasn't a problem when it was actually very serious.
The older boy does speak the local language, the younger one doesn't speak anything yet.
This event is next Sunday - anticipating setting off about noon and coming back about six, about an hour drive away.
Thanks for all the replies. I have decided to tell my sister-in-law my worries and see what she says.
Why on earth were people being so rude to OP?
OP you don't have to babysit for them if you are really uncomfortable with the idea - I completely understand the 999/choking thing. If that is genuinely your concern (rather than just not wanting to do it - which is OK too as long as you are honest but would have to accept you will probably upset your relatives if you say this) then just tell them that.
YANBU, aside from all your reasonable concerns, you don't have to look after any children that are not yours if you don't want to. Can't understand some of the comments on this thread???
They were being rude to him because he was a man, and from the first post, managed to nit-pick about the light-hearted way he referred to his wife.
To compound his sins, this childless person was hesitating before agreeing to babysit two young children for a significant period of time (who says it will end up being only 6 hours if people have fun?). What a horrible man. Doesn't he know that all adults should not only embrace parenthood, but they should grab every opportunity to learn about it in advance by practising on other people's children?
Then there were those who didn't bother to read the thread and completely overlooked the language barrier, and also the fact that he's genuinely worried about what could go wrong.
Op, of course you're right to have doubts about this. One of these children is just a one year old baby. Unless you share daily in their care then this would be far too long a stint for a first go at babysitting. Added to that the fact that their parents would be so far away, and you wouldn't be confident in dealing with an emergency - of course YANBU. I am sure the responses would have been completely different if you'd been a woman - even though of course all women are supposed to spring forth with an inherent instinct for motherhood.
I definitely think YANBU. Never mind the language barrier, I think that not wanting to look after young children is a good enough reason.
I would never ask a childless person to look after my DCs unless it was an emergency. Fine if they offer, but I wouldnt ask.
A lot of people just dont like kids til they have their own
I was just wondering - has this plan been offered as a solution by the parents of the children or by your in laws?
I can't imagine wanting to leave my 1 year old for that long with someone who has limited experience of children.
We have a lodger who is a very good friend, he has lived with us since before the children were born, I still wouldn't ask him to look after the children for that long. He babysits once I have put them to bed but only ever looks after them in the day if I have to pop to get bread/post a letter.
They are being U expecting you to do it.
My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are the parents of the two children.
Anyway, I have spoken to my sister-in-law and told her why I don't want to do it, and the solution is that one of her aunts - great aunts to the boys - is going to come over while it's just me and them. She has had her own children and presumably helped with her grandchildren, so she'll know what to do if anything happens. Meanwhile I'll be there if they get a bit rowdy.
Much obliged to all who contributed.
All is well that ends well then
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