Xmas dilemma ....would it be rude?help

(47 Posts)

Ok MN I'm feeling strong, but do need honest advice.....yes or no will do as I know you're all busy.

Every other Christmas my parents pay for my whole family to stay in a self catering place so we can all be together as we live far away from each other. It's great...we all love it. They book it 2yrs in advance.
This year the booking is from 22-27 dec. my kids break up 21st. My DH and DS have been offered some big deal footie tickets for Sat 22 which would mean going 23rd which would suit me in a way as it would be a bit tight getting everything ready (food etc) on Sat, but I could do it. My DH has to work 24. If we were paying for ourselves (and we offer every year) and we hadn't known about the date so far in advance I wouldn't worry.

Would it be rude to say we're coming a day late?

Hit me with it....smile

manicinsomniac Sun 09-Dec-12 20:23:21

I'd go after the match and arrive Saturday evening then your parents won't be upset and your husband can spend the night before having to drive back again for work - it sounds like quite a long drive for him to spend the afternoon and then go straight back.

SuperChristmasScrimper Sun 09-Dec-12 20:02:43

I would take 2 cars and go earlier than DH. I know my parents would be annoyed at the waste of money so would make me feel bad. Plus they might well think twice about boking it for you again.

dramaqueen Sun 09-Dec-12 18:13:38

Just go Saturday evening. That way you arrive on the Saturday but still get to do your stuff.

Theoriginal The cottages are 102 miles from where we live, just over 2hr drive I think.

theoriginalandbestrookie Sun 09-Dec-12 17:21:08

I don't think its a big deal, but equally I can see why your DM thinks otherwise.

If you were to come on the Sat then that shows willing. How far away is it if you were to take two cars ?

agent I could do that....but seems a bit mad to take 2 cars when it's just one night. I told my mother and her re action was " ok but everyone else is arriving Sat" sad now feel crap.

Can you go down yourself on the original day, then your DH and DS go the next day after the football? I think it's a bit rude to change arrangements so close to the date, when you've known the dates two years in advance. I wouldn't do it. There will be other football matches.

My ILs would understand completely and would be all ready to be interested in gc's blow-by-blow account of the match when he arrived. (Situation would never arise with my parents!).

One of things that make family occasions like this relaxed is everybody making allowances for everyone else. I remember being really surprised when I first went away on hol with my ILs, and realised it was ok to ask for people to do things a bit differently to accomodate my needs/wishes. Nobody got cross, they were all pleased to be able to make me happy ...

Although I might get DS to phone Granny and say "I really want to do this, is it ok with you?". How old is he?

And obv if your parents get in a huff about, you'll know it was not ok and you need to bow out of the next time ...

Jinsei Sun 09-Dec-12 12:03:41

Wow, do people really think their parents would be upset about stuff like this? shock Mine would understand completely! You can't say two years in advance what may come up. Why deny the kids a great opportunity for the sake of one day?

CarlingBlackMabel Sun 09-Dec-12 11:54:49

Booking the place 2 years in advance effectively commandeers your time, and with teens and a family that is unrealistic. I am really happy I come from a family where no-one would hit the roof or consider it rude to arrive after a 'big deal' event that they were passionate about, like footie.

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Sun 09-Dec-12 00:07:10

I would go after the match myself - then you are only 'spoiling' a part of the day. Just explain that you need the time to pack and DS & DH have been invited to the match. My parents would be fine about it.

If you think they might be upset can't you go straight after the football match? Presumably if you're planning to arrive before lunch on 23rd it's not so far away that leaving after the match wouldn't mean you'd arrive ridiculously late.

CaHoHoHootz Sat 08-Dec-12 23:36:56

It is not rude, the DC's are breaking up unusually late this year.

Myliferocks Sat 08-Dec-12 23:31:59

Not rude at all but then I love football and also the thought of spending 5 days with family would fill me with dread.

WorraLorraTurkey Sat 08-Dec-12 23:30:25

Of course it isn't rude.

They've booked it two years in advance so they must know that during that time, life has a habit of changing.

I'm sure they'll understand.

Thanks for all your comments.
Just to clarify.....the place is booked from 22-27th.we are planning to arrive a day late on the 23rd, but before lunch. My husband then will drive home in the evening so he can go to work on Christmas Eve and then back Christmas Eve evening.
Tbh I feels bit torn about it. Don't want to upset parents but don't want o upset DH and DS either.

nannyof3 Sat 08-Dec-12 21:19:18

Football is only a game !!!

Christmas is a family thing that is not guaranteed !!

whois Sat 08-Dec-12 21:16:17

Nah just tell them. They'll be cool about it but defo don't lie or make up an excuse.

Gingerodgers Sat 08-Dec-12 20:34:40

My thoughts are that if all your siblings thought this was ok, some coming late, some leaving early, it could be the start of the end of this arrangement. The reality is, it may come to a natural end soon anyway whatwithdcs getting older and having other priorities. Think about how you would feel if you were the only family there for the entire time because your sibs and their families had other priorities. It def would put a dampener on what is a lovely thing for your parents to do. Depends on how well you all get on I suppose. Nice problem to have tho!

Pancakeflipper Sat 08-Dec-12 19:28:23

If its a cottage/house you are all staying in and there's other people not just your parents and your family - then I don't see an issue. I think I would be abit niggled if it was a hotel.

Pandemoniaa Sat 08-Dec-12 19:24:47

I don't think it is rude. Schools break up very late this year and the extra day at home would be really useful. If you plan to go on the 23rd you will only miss one night anyway which is hardly throwing your parents' hospitality in their face, is it?

DontmindifIdo Sat 08-Dec-12 18:58:43

Not unreasonable to arrive on the Sunday rather than the Saturday when your DCs break up on the Friday. I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind.

AcidTurkishBath Sat 08-Dec-12 18:55:03

If your DH is working on the 24th, then surely staying at home for an extra day gives you more time with him at Christmas. That most definitely is not unreasonable. One day won't make a difference.

BodyOfEeyore Sat 08-Dec-12 18:53:17

Not rude. I don't see a problem.

HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss Sat 08-Dec-12 18:53:04

If you lived closer I could understand it more, but you all live apart and it's only for 6 days.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now